Seeker of my Heart

1. Return to Hogwarts

The watch on my wrist beeped, sounding an unpleasant alarm that broke the palpable tension in the air around me. I scowled down at the time and then across the crowded, muggle filled space that surrounded platform 9 ¾. My father stood with his burly arms crossed over his chest, his nostrils flaring as he tried not to draw attention to us by screaming his frustration in a public area. I could see the whites of his eyes as they stared resolutely back at me.

The tension was pushing against my chest so hard it felt almost impossible to take a breath and I felt the pressure of my emotions pushing against my control. I was so irritated and frustrated that my body was convinced the only solution was to cry. Which I hated, and I knew after a lifetime of experience, wouldn't sway my straight-laced father from any of his opinions. I ran my fingers through my teal hair and gripped the edge of my travel bag convulsively.

"I have to go, dad." I said, quickly checking the time on my watch as the seconds ticked closer and closer to eleven.

"If you get on that damned witch train right now, Cassandra Grace Shaw, I will no longer have a daughter." His tone was scathing and cruel, he spoke barely above a whisper but the words cut me deeply all the same.

I felt my need to cry war with the stubborn beast that never strayed far from my conscious mind that screamed he would not break me. I gaped at him for a moment, willing him to take the words back and when he didn't, my face resolved into a hate-filled glare. "I was never your daughter, dad, only your possession. You've never treated me like a person, never cared to love me for who I was. I was only ever good enough if I did exactly what you wanted, how you wanted, regardless of how that affected me."

I was slightly surprised by my outburst as we rarely addressed such heavy topics between the two of us. But his words and the finality in his gaze hurt more than I was willing to admit and honestly I just wanted to hurt him back.

His jaw clenched and I swear I could hear his teeth grinding even over the din of the crowd. "Were you ever good enough, Cassandra?" He asked. This slash against my heart making my eyes water before I shook my head and forced my emotions back into a tight box. "Go back to your fucking magic, CS, you're no longer welcome in my home."

"Fine." I quipped, letting my anger and frustration seep clearly into my tone. I didn't wait for a response from him before I turned on my heel and passed through the barrier onto platform 9 ¾. I shook my head again, determined to clear my eyes of any traces of tears as they slowly adjusted to the dim winter morning. I'd spent six and a half years with these people, I wasn't about to let them see me cry now. Especially over my stupid muggle father.

The train sat impatiently in its spot as last minute arrivals were still hugging their family's goodbye. The smoke from the engine billowed around the platform, turning the gloomy winter morning into something that seemed from a different time period. I didn't bother wasting anymore glances behind me as I rushed toward the train and hopped through an open door, dodging around the other students still gathered at the entrance.

I would have enough time by myself to gather my thoughts and stuff that last conversation safely away before my friends found me. The train was surprisingly empty compared to the amount of students riding home for the winter holidays. But a lot of them, I reasoned, would be arriving back to the castle via Hogsmeade. I should have just rolled out of bed and Apparated there myself.

I shuffled down the narrow hallway between compartments, passing through several cars before I found an empty cabin. I flumped into the seat and stared out of the window, waiting absently for my friends. Vyanya and Caleb were both Prefects, with Vyanya being named Head Girl, meaning they both would be on patrol for at least the first few hours of the trip back. I pulled my wand out of my travel bag before stuffing the bag above my head.