Seeker of my Heart

21. Where is she?

Yoongi settled back into the quietness of his chair as his body slowly relaxed. The fifth floor clubroom was mellow today since Namjoon was spending as much time with his girlfriend as he could before the end of the year and Jimin and Jeongguk were at another Quidditch practice.

He blinked his eyes slowly open and turned his head toward the quiet sounds of laugher that emanated from his other gathered friends. Hobi sat with Aislinn in his lap, a soft smile on his face as he pulled her closer. Taehyung was across a small table from them, his tie around his head and pushing his dark blue hair out of his face as he bit his tongue in concentration.

The three of them were playing a made-up version of wizard's chess that allowed for three players. It was an invention of Taehyung's when he was bored but it didn't take long for Aislinn's analytical mind to make easy work of the rules and beat him every time.

Yoongi closed his eyes again as his smile morphed his face and his tired head slowly leaned back. He was glad Aislinn was feeling better, not only for her sake but also because it took a lot of the tension out of his relationship with Hobi.

To some level both he and Hobi understood that what happened at dueling club wasn't Yoongi's fault. Hobi's real anger toward Yoongi and Shaw came from the fact that he felt helpless and didn't know how to make Aislinn feel better after that disastrous memory.

Yoongi found it slightly odd that out of all of his friends, Aislinn was the first to be willing to consider forgiveness toward Shaw. When Yoongi voiced his opinion on that matter, Aislinn just gave him this weird, sad look that seemed to come out of nowhere.

Yoongi forced down a small inkling of guilt that still lingered around the enigma that was Cassandra Shaw in his mind. The girl was fucking crazy, and not even in a cute way this time. She claimed that she wanted him to keep pretending that she didn't exist but the more he did that, the angrier she got. When he tried to talk to her, she simply turned her nose up at him and pretended that he didn't exist.

At this point he was kind of over it and only praying for the end of the year to come faster.

"Oppa, why don't you come play with us?" Aislinn called in her sweet voice.

Yoongi popped his eye open and pouted at her, shaking his head. "I'm tired."

She sighed dramatically and turned back to Hobi, wrapping her arms around his head and leaning into his chest. The sight tugged against Yoongi's heart and he realized with a bit of irritation that he was jealous. Not of Hobi and Aislinn's relationship exactly, but because there were moments, however fleeting and inconsequential as they were, that he wanted someone to cuddle into him for warmth and comfort.

Or he wanted someone to cuddle into. Yoongi wasn't really sure it made a difference. He'd never really thought or cared about having a relationship like that. He focused his attention on his friends, classes, Quidditch and dueling. This gave him everything he thought he needed.

It wasn't really until he saw the intimacy of Hoseok's relationship with his girlfriend that it even managed to occur to Yoongi that he might be missing something. His parents were barely tolerable of each other, like most marriages that were designed with nothing more in mind than keeping the old bloodlines pure, so Yoongi didn't know better. Or so he assumed.

He brushed this problem away and crossed his arms over his chest as he scooched further down on the cushion to get more comfortable. He wanted to be around his friends because it was always nice to be surrounded by people that loved him, but he also just wanted to sleep.

His leisure time was spent almost exclusively on the Quidditch pitch when he could. Yoongi was determined to win the Quidditch cup but he also wanted to sleep. So he compromised by taking small cat naps when he could. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as the thought skittered across his tired mind.