Noona [Ateez]

The Talk

A few hours later
Bosam's Point of View

I didn't get any sleep last night... again. I was running on no fuel, but I still decided to get up when my alarm started ringing. I shut it off quickly, before it could wake San or Rowoon, begrudgingly standing up and walking out of the room. What was the point of staying in bed if I wouldn't be able to sleep in it anyway?

When I did, as if to remind me of just how well he knew me, there Jiho was, ready to greet me with a bouquet of my favorite flowers and just the type of coffee I needed to feel less dead. Even a sweet pastry, and one for my baby.

At first it saddened me a bit, to see the bouquet of white lilies of the valley, because it reminded me of my first date with Yunho... oh gosh, Yunho. I can't believe he told Jiho to leave– scratch that, I can't believe Jung Yunho punched his sunbaenim, the Zico.

I was still a bit shocked to see him acting jealous like that... I hate to admit it, but I was attracted to it. The way he wrapped his arms around me when Jiho left and insisted on taking me out for lunch was just so unfair. These men were playing with my heartstrings like it was tug of war, seeing who could do more and tug harder to win it towards their side.

Yunho insisted on just sitting on the couch with me, holding me, for about twenty minutes after Jiho left. I would usually hate it. I'm not really super affectionate, but he was being so precious. He held me and just looked at me, admiring my every feature, running his fingertips down my arms, through my hair, and then pulling me protectively into his chest, mumbling about how he didn't like Jiho.

Eventually, I was able to detach myself from him, and went back into his room to collect my son and get us both ready for the day. I found him already awake, looking lost and worried as he sat up in San's bed, looking around. He nearly burst into tears when he saw me. I quickly picked him up, and he hugged me so tightly, asking me where I went and why I disappeared last night. The poor thing was scared when he woke up and I was suddenly gone. As if my heart wasn't broken enough from that interaction, what he said while I was bathing him hurt me even more.

"I miss you mommy," Rowoon said, looking up at me with his big, sad puppy eyes. "I'm right here, bud." I said with a sad smile, trying to keep things light, but in reality, I knew what he meant. "Are you going to stay here for some time?" He asked. I pouted apologetically at him, my heart heavy in my chest. "Mommy's sorry, baby. I have a meeting today, but after that I'm all yours okay? I'll clear my schedule just for some special mommy-son time." I said as I helped him out of the tub and let him dry himself. "How does that sound?" I asked, putting up a hopeful smile.

"Can we go to the park?" He asked. "Of course." I said, smiling. "Can daddy come too?" He asked, making my smile drop. Shit. We still hadn't had that conversation.

"Who.. who are you talking about, sweetie?" I asked, taken aback by his request. "Yunho-hyung," he said. "Rowoon-ah," I said, sternly, yet calmly, as I took his little hands in mine. "I need you to listen carefully, okay? Yunho is not your daddy. Just because a man and a woman love each other doesn't mean they're mother and father." I tried to explain, but it was extra difficult, since it felt like my brain was working overtime in order to have this conversation while stressed and running on zero sleep.

He frowned a little, looking confused. "I don't get it," he said, making me nod patiently and take a deep breath as I racked my mind in search of a good example. "Okay, you know how you can love people as friends, right?" I finally came up with, to which he nodded. "Well mommy has a lot of friends who are men, but none of them are your daddies, even though they love mommy." I explained. He nodded slowly. "But Yunho-hyung doesn't love you like a friend mommy." He said, making me purse my lips and nod "still, he's not your dad, sweetheart."