The Feiry Innocent Charcoal Orbs

|| We are lost! ||

Neil was so silent,after Avni left. Her words were roaming inside his mind. He felt extreme pain in his heart,Avni hates him! That broke his heart,just like how he did that to her. He neither talked,nor ate anything. He was lost in his thoughts. Her words ringing in his mind again and again. A lone tear escaped his eyes.

"I hate you Avni"
"Nikal jaa meri zindagi se,humesha humesha keliye! Aur phir kabhi laut ke mat aana"
"Neil is a closed chapter in my life"
"I aint gonna love him again,I hate him"
"I hate him more than I loved him!"
"Go and let him know it!"

It all filmed in his mind. Her pain,He understood it. He suddenly understood,what he caused. It was all him,who started this. He never leaved a chance to taunt her,after she came back in his life,after five years. He cared about his pain,his loneliness. But did he for once thought about her? Just for once? If he would have,then maybe she wouldn't have hated him.❛I hate him more than I loved him❜.❛I hate you Avni! I just hate you! Get out of my life!❜ he opened his eyes again with a jerk,again after hearing them. His eyes clouded with rain of tears,"I'm sorry Avni." He said,realising what blunder he caused. In the rush and ego,he made her alone when she needed him,the most. He cursed her,used words which peirced her already broken heart. Her broken interface was reflecting in her broken eyes,of tear filled. But now she hates him."I lost you Avni." He said. He lost her again,because of him. His anger. Be sure to taste your own words before letting them out. Anger,and tongue, your biggest enemy. You won't understand the depth of your mistake,until you gets it back with the same intensity.

..

Avni was lost in her thoughts. Should she live or die? If it's Live,then for whom should she live? Her family? She lost them. Her son too. Someone said,You should learn to live with Yourself. Because,at the end of the day you will be alone. Don't be so much attached to someone. They can leave you hurt you. Today's world is not trust worthy.

She was thinking of death again after 20 years. The first time she thought about it was when she was at her teen. Standing near the slab of bathroom,she was so lost in her thoughts that time. She couldn't bear the stinking pain in her heart,everytime. Dayawanti's words were ringing in her mind. At a sub-conscious mind,she took her blade and slowly peirced her skin. The pain give her pleasure. The blood made her satisfy. That was the last time she thought about death,after Neela ma scolded her hard. Now,she was thinking of again about it. Death. For her,it was an escape. Escape from this cruel world. But on the other side,she have no mind to leave her son alone. How will he live? She knows how it feels to lose a mother. Her son will probably starts hating Neil,if something happens to her. And she don't want it. She stole four years of his son's life from him. She wants him to cherish the leftover,all by himself,just to repent her mistake.

Her thoughts came into a halt,when the bell rang. She opened it. For her shock, it was Nandini and Manik,"Nandini!" Avni called her,"You here? At this time?" Avni made Nandini let in,and closed the door,"What happened really?"

"Thats what I have to ask to you." Nandini started. Her voice felt sterness,and her look was cold."I..I didn't understood." Avni said,"What do you mean Nandini?"-"You really don't know? Like seriously! How could you?I trusted you Avni, But you broke my family my brother. I saw Neil hissing in the pain you gave him everyday. I never thought you could do this. Today also,Im sure you did something which made him upset. I just can't see him unhappy. He deserves happiness-"

"Yeah! He deserves happiness." Avni chuckled sarcastically. She could sense her eyes flooding in tears as her vision became blurry,"Yeah you're right! It's..it's.. him who deserves happiness. Not me. I deserves sorrows,Right? That was what you meant,Right?"Avni wiped her tears,questioning,"Avni..no you're..You're just taking things wrong. I-I didn't mean it.I really-" Nandini spoke,defending herself as she understood she said wrong,"You all never mean it. But I mean it. It means to me. It shows you all have just thought me like this. An illegitimate,who deserves sorrows not happiness. You all never meant anything,you said. It was all my mistake." Avni cried,"It was all my mistake. I should've died." Avni whispered and sat on the sofa. Her words stink their heart,"Do you even realize what you said?" Manik raged at her,he was shivering in anger. Avni talked about death again. It fears him to the core.

"Why are you acting protective towards me. Mr.Mehta!? Who are you to me?" Avni asked,fire blazing in her eyes. It hurts him,when she address him as Mr.Mehta. He was her Manu,"Avi.." Manik started off,"No..don't you dare to call me that. I'm not your sister! Just be in your limits. I'm not anyone to you." Avni reminded him,his words. Exactly what he used for her.

"You broke him. How can you even think of seperating a father from his own child.I'm feeling ashamed to even call you as my sister. Everyone is right."He suddenly reminded his words. When she was begging to listen her,he gave her another bunch of painful words. It must have broke her heart,when he said,he don't have a sister,he is ashamed to even call her as his sister. The agony in her eyes; they were the reason for it.

"I don't have anyone. I was alone,and will be alone too. Just..leave!give me some peace," she begged. Her sobs coming out,she sniffed."Avni..we..I'm really sor-" "Just leave." Avni said more Strickly. She wants some alone time to spent. They moved out of the house,giving her another deposit of pain. It wasn't their intention,but everyone,day by day hurts her. Everyone leaved her just like that. No one loved her,trusted her. It was all a lie.

"Shit! What did we do? We hurted her again. What shall we do now? What If she do something like-no..no.." Manik began panicking. Nandini was also in tears,she never meant it,but things went away from their hands and they ended up hurting her again. They again knocked on the door,but had to go back without getting any response.

..

"I hate everyone! Everyone! No one loved me. It was all a lie. No one loved in me..IT WAS ALL A LIE!" She screamed,and went on her knees crying badly. All those years,she have lived for them,for their safety and now when it's their turn to protect her,they just threw her out. She was tearing,and throwing everything she sees. Then,she noticed a picture.  

"We were lost that time,fighting with each other and our inner turmoils,then we found our way to each other Neil. We are lost now also,but we will never find our ways back to each other Neil." She whispered,an actual truth. She tore the paper harshly and crumbled them throwing it somewhere.

In the silence of our ego,we lost each other.

XX

Was it a boring update? Cause I felt so.

How was it then actually?

Stay tuned,there is lot more to come.
Thank you for reading.

Much love
H🤍