Free Fall

Dead inside

I couldn't believe what was happening. My mother died and I was on the phone with her. I was with her and couldn't say how much I loved her. I missed saying how much I was thankfull for all the care she gave me. I missed telling her how grateful I was for everything. I missed telling her how fortunate I was to have her as a mother.... Now she was gone and there was no way for me to tell her that. Even if I wanted to there was no way I could tell her that anymore. 

Why did you had to leave me?!

Why did god need to take you from me?

Am I not good enough to die?

Why you and not me?

Why did he need to take you!

I wanted to die!

It should have been me and not you!

I...I am so sorry mom!

If only you never called me!

There was a funeral right after the day she died but there was nothing to burry. I wished they could have gotten the bones at least but it was do dangerous to burry something like this because of the accident and even then there was nothing left behind. This was how I needed to burry an empty cofin. It pained me knowing that she died on the phone with me. It was somewhat my fault. She was way to focused on me to see th crash coming and even then there was no way she could have foreseen that coming. 

I...I am so sorry mom!

If only you never called me!

If it wasn't for you being on the phone then you might have seen it coming.

You might be even alive now.

I am just a mistake!

I missed telling you how greatful I am.

I am so sorry.

Mom do you even know how thankfull I am.

You never gave up on me no matter what I did and said?

There was a time I wished you would to end it quickly but you knew when I was feeling down!

I never should have failed killing myself!

If I wouldn't be such a failure then you would be still alive!

It's all my fault!

I am so sorry.

Apparently a tuck with some special chemicals crashed into my mothers car and other peoples car a lot of people died that day becayse the chemical caught fire. Tho I didn't care about the other since that fire took my mothers life and it was soo hot that all that remained was ashes and some things but it was a special acid which eate everything away even the pavement. It was a huge catastrophe. Thankfully some heroes managed to stop it from getting to though the thick cement.

There is soo much I wanted to tell you mom...

Do you know that you were the only one holding me together for so long?

The only one who cared?

The only one who ever saw me as me and never actully bothered that I was quirkless?

Thank you for that!

Thanks for sticking with me.

Thank you for not giving me up and being an overbearing bear-like mother.