Chapter 1: In the Beginning
My Hero TTS
For those who don't know what TTS is it's Text to Speach and in this instance referring to the Warhammer 40k parody under the title of Warhammer TTS. I own neither My Hero Academia/Bocu No hero Academia, Warhammer 40,000, TTS or any other mentioned intellectual properties. All mentioned properties belong to their respective owners and I make no proffit off of this series or anything affiliated with Games Workshop (tm).
For some clarification. 1st milenium: 0-999 2nd milenium: 1000-1999 3rd Milenium: 2000-2999 Yes were in the 21st century or the 3rd Milenium weird to think about hey?
Electronic TTS voices.
"Hello" Normal speach
*Hello* Daemonic
'Hello' thought
HELLO TTS Emperor
Chapter 1: In the beginning
Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim darkness of the future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.
Hot ashes rained down from an orange sky as purple and blue lightning blitzed overhead. Millions of metal buildings the size of mountains covered the surface and a web of golden lines spread from north to south illuminating the night. This baren wasteland was Holy Terra, the center of the Imperium of man's power and birthplace of humanity. It is the 41st Milenium and humanity is in a constant struggle of life and death from the savage jungles of the death worth Katachan to the ruins of the Cadian gate to Ultramar and beyond. Trillions die every minute as trillions more are born to clasp ever more desperately at survival.
Deep within a gold plated palace atop what was once known as Mt. Everest sat a decaying corpse atop a golden throne hooked upto wires and cogitators so ancient their true workings have been lost to the sands of time. Standing guard throughout the palace were thousands giant 12ft tall beings clad in gold ceremonial armor with conical helmets, red robes and carrying spear like weaponry afixed with a weapon known as a Bolter, a highly brutal weapon to reflect the brutal times. These beings were called the Custodes. Four of them however were much more different than their brethren. The first three wore no armor asides their helmets and no garments asides loin clothes. These were the pillarstodes, a trio of semi-nudist custodes who loved to oil their abs. The next was a custode so high in rank their were second only to the emperor in authority. They were Kitten.
As per usual for the past ten thousand or so years the Emperor had been stuck in the golden throne, unable to leave but thanks to late 2nd millennium technology called Text To Speach he was once again capable of talking to those he deemed worthy or fun enough to annoy.
FUCK SAKE. WHO IN THE LOVE OF ME LET HER IN HERE? The electronic monotone of the Emperor's corpse stated, it's one cybernetic eye flashing in annoyance.
"Um well sir she is your wife." Kitten stated somewhat awkwardly as he looked down at the short green haired woman wearing clothes that were in fashion during the early 3rd millennium. "I can't really dispobey an order from her."
FOR FUCK SAKE I KNOW SOMEHOW THIS WAS MAGNUS' FAULT. CUT HIS INTERNET USAGE. The Emperor demanded once again in monotone.
"Of course sir. I'll do it right away." Kitten stated with a bow before rushing off to find the router where ever the hell it was.
"Hisashi." The woman stated with an incline her her head.
INKO. The Emperor now identified as Hisashi stated in kind. WHY ARE YOU HERE?
"Izuku wanted to see you again." Inko stated softly with a soft frown. " What do we do? I'm not sure he's going to quiet understand this all."
The Emperor was silent for a few minutes as what could only be described as internet dial up was heared before a soft ding was emitted. TELL HIM THE TRUTH, I AM RATHER DISSAPOINTED IN KITTEN RIGHT NOW SO TAKE HIM WITH YOU TO TEACH OUR SON HOW TO BEHAVE PROPERLY.
"So, not like Horus?" Kitten asked as he re-entered the massive room. Instantly everything started to shake violently and Kitten was thrown into a wall cracking it heavily and forming a crater around him whilst a green glow kept Inko routed to the spot.
FUCKING HORRRRRRUUUUUSSSSSS THAT TRAITOR SHALL BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNN The Emperor raged, his TTS glitched at how held held his words into just repeating the individual letters. His one eye blared red and waves of psychic energy pored off of him in rapid pulses. He was livid.
"Oh dear calm down now." Inko huffed with a pout. A burst of green aura smacked the skelaton across the back of the skull making the waves stop.
OW. I AM A FUCKING SKELATON WITH NO NERVES OR SKIN TO HURT AND THATS STILL FUCKING HURT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WOMAN. The Emperor stated in monotone, completely confused at his wife's ability to still harm him physically despite his lack of anything other than a skelaton and a few cybernetics.
"Hisashi. Quiet." Inko warned and if it were possible the Emperor would of gulped in fear. "Come along Kitten, we've got to hurry if we want to get home before my son does."
"Uhm what, just happened exactly?" Kitten asked, somewhat confused.
YOU ARE TO BABYSIT MY SON AND TEACH HIM. The Emperor explained bluntly.
"B-but sir! What about you, I mean I can't just leave you defenseless!" Kitten argued back, normally he would of just agreed to whatever happened around the palace but this was different.
UNLESS YOU WANT TO ANGER MY WIFE I WOULD SUGGEST YOU GO WITH HER. The Emperor cautioned. Kitten fearfully looked at Inko who was smiling a bit too cheerfully making him shudder.
"Very well, quickly now." Kitten uttered quickly as Inko lead him out of the room. It was quiet for all of 12 seconds before a bright yellow clad Centurion of the Imperial fists rushed in and began to snuggle upto the Emperor like a small child.
THANK YOU. WHY THE HELL SHE IS LIKE THAT I HAVE NO IDEA, WHY COULD SHE NOT BE MORE LIKE MY GOLDEN ANGEL BOY SANGUINIUS. The Emperor said simply. His wife was scary and even the chaos gods knew it. Nurgle refused to go near her after the last night of Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker and forced the god to take a bath something that even Slaanesh agreed went too far. Tzeench just laughed it's metaphorical then literal assets off at the sight and Khorne demanded to be unchained to get away from the children's card game.
Chapter end.
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BNHA TTS
FanfictionIzuku's father is the God Emperor, his mother is a godlike psycher and his nanny is Kitten, how will the heroes keep up with the young primarch? some Pairings to be decided. unofficial of GW.
