Willing

2.

I want to go home.

I, so badly want to go home.

"Do you want to....to come with us?" Anya asks in small voice. She doesn't quite meet my eyes but I know her full attention is on me.

"I...I am not sure." I reply.

"Have you ever been there?" She continues. We are both now standing in the backyard. All the perimeter is lined with different flowers, and there is also two tables with chairs. There is also a swing along with a small mermaid fountain.

This place is very relaxing only if I can do that.

"No. Never." She nods almost as if she understands. I hesitates but chance a glance to check if she is angry but no, she has a small smile on her face.

"I thought so that's why asked. I figured it must be hard for you go there alone considering what he did to you." She squeezes my arm and gestures to sit on one of the chairs.

"Should I go?"

"Only if you are sure. You don't have to if you don't want to. It's totally upto you." Her voice has this tone which a woman only has when she talking to her children.

Shouldn't she be upset with me?

But what is this I am experiencing?

Is this guilt I am feeling?

Maybe shame?

Or anger?

What is this burning feeling?

I don't say anything as we sit there, enjoying the peace which this place is providing.

I assumed that whenever I would return here, all the memories-bad or good would haunt me but surprisingly I am hardly having those thoughts.

Yes, it is not the same. It never was, coming here. I always had to be on toes around here. Not now, now all I feel is kind of empty.

"I think I should leave now."

"Please stay a little longer. Emilio said he wanted to meet you. He will here soon." She suggested.

I can stay a little longer it's not like I have something to do, that's not the problem here.

Problem is that asshole, Emilio.

I don't want to meet him or talk to him. For some reasons he has taken it upon himself to call me every other day, which of course I never answer. I don't know what his deal is. What would I even talk to him?

"I would love to stay but I have an early flight tomorrow so I can't." I muster the most apologetic face I can to show how sorry I am. In reality, I would do anything to avoid him.

"Well, can't be helped than. Have a safe flight and please keep in contact." With that she hugs one last time as she comes with to my car. She gives me one more hug after that I drive back to pack house.

I drive slowly because it a rather short ride so I want to relax my mind and enjoy the satting sun before Oliver could fire question after question.

As soon as I park my car, Oliver is there with a worried look.

He is such a mom!

"How was it?" He questions impatiently.

"What? Food?" My answer bothered him as  his glare becomes more intense. I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"This isn't funny, D"

"Okayy. Food was good, they were nice and I had a talk with Anya." I raise my left eyebrow to ask if that's all he wanted to know.