new life

Uneventful, yeah right.

Lornas pov:

It has been a couple minutes since we went to sleep, those couple minutes have felt like hours, for the fist few minutes I could feel Peggys tension her looking at me every ten seconds from her place on her bed, until she finally went to sleep it had been a heavy day for both of us so I really couldn't blame her. I can't remember the last time I slept on something soft, well maybe I never did, and sleeping with out being handcuffed to the bed was... strange to say the least, in the red room I slept in a separate area for obvious reasons, whenever I had a nightmare my powers would full out loose control even with the power dampening collar, yes my powers are weak now for some reason but I can't risk it, what would happen if I lost control here that accident would probably reach Russia in a day, two days max, so I just pot my right arm up, pretend the handcuff is there and try to rest and enjoy the feeling of not having a shock collar around my neck. I close my eyes for a while, that's when the bad memories come in, all the overthinking and old ghosts coming back, I decide that theres no way I'm staying here all night alone with my brain that just wont shut the fuck up, i put some pillows on the couch so that it kind of looks like me, I slowly get up and very quietly walk through the flat, yes Peggy is skilled... but so am I so I skillfully make my way to the door only looking back at Peggy to make sure she's still sleeping, it would be so easy right now, killing her or just running but I don't for some reason, I grip the doorknob so hard my knuckles turn white, I snap out of it and leave the room, sneaky as a spider.

I left the room and hear something in mollys apartment that i wish I hadn't "ew" I roll my eyes and continue silently walking  through the halls aimlessly, I could go out, see the famous city of New York but that would probably end up in me getting caught by someone I don't want to get caught by, so I silently make my way to the roof thats when I realize there either  isn't a service door to the roof or I can't find it so that means i'm gonna have to improvise "great," I open a window and take a breath, I have never been afraid of hights so this should be easy, I step out the window and put my right hand and my right foot on some stones that stuck out the building and climbed my way to the top with out any mishaps. I sit on the ledge, with my legs dangling off the side of the Griffith, say what you will about America but this city really is beautiful, even for me that prefers a nice peaceful forest, this city really is something, I've always loved looking at the stars, because of the light from the city they aren't that visible but they're there and so is the moon, looking down at me, the same stars and moon that I've seen in all my different missions, the same stars and moon that can be seen from Russia. 

I've been sitting there feeling the wing against me, watching the lights, the moon, the stars... when before I know it, I'm looking at the sun rise, a new day is beginning, I can't tell if thats a good thing yet. I snap out of it remembering Peggy is probably going to wake up soon, I don't know her, well besides her file and the small things i've gathered, but I'm not risking getting punished, thank you very much, so I make my way down, the same way I came up. I walk through the halls until I reach Peggys door as soon as I put my hand on the doorknob the door basically flies open and i'm met with a very angry looking Peggy, she's still in her night robe, hair pinned but messy and she looks like she just woke up, I keep my face blank of any reaction as she grabs my arm and drags me into the room, she closes the door and rests her head against in for two seconds before she looks back at me, "Where the bloody hell were you?," she says trying to keep her calm, I shrug and grab a glass from the cabinet, fill it with water and sit at the small table, I take a long sip, feeling Peggy getting more and more impatient, "out," I answer simply, "Out, what do you mean by out," she basically grits through her teeth, "I couldn't sleep so I went to the roof," "You went out to the-, WHY?!", Peggy raised her voice, which caught me of guard, I haven't know her very long at all, but from what I know and what i've heard or read she keeps her guard up and she keeps her composure easily, my eyes widened and I looked down, suddenly I was back there I gripped the cup in my hands so hard it shattered, the lights flickered but luckily Peggy didn't seem to notice, she rushed to my side and I jumped from my seat grabbing a knife from the shelf behind me instinctively and holding up defensively, Peggy let out a surprised breath and put her hands up and walk a few steps back, "Don't touch me" I said trying to grip back into reality,  "Put it down," Peggy talked calmly, which was surprising from someone in her position, I stared daggers at her, daring her to come any closer. It happened often when I  was out on missions, when I've been in their control my mind has been shattered, memories, pictures, feelings flashing through my head that I can't stop,It's terrifying to not be able to control your own mind and having to control someone elses', well, I've learned messing with peoples minds is one of the worst thing someone can do. 

I guess Peggy has been talking to me for a while, but everything is like i'm underwater. "Don't let her escape, she's running out the back! The collar, GET THE COLLAR! GET HER. ILLYANOVA! We need to know, don't worry this won't hurt a bit, well maybe it will, Subject 633 delightful to see you again, and so soon. Get the smiley men!! . LOCK HER UP!" Peggy has gotten closer but i can't bring myself to snap out of it, but I know as soon as she touches me I'll probably do something out of muscle memory and instinct that I don't think i wanna do, "Lorna, hey look at me your safe... Lorna" she speaks softly unlike what I'm used to Lorna I guess that is what brings me back from where ever  I was, back there they rarely used my real name, I look at her, I look into her brown eyes, there's something warm about them, a safe feeling I've only felt once before, a very long time ago... I don't want to trust her- I CAN'T trust her, but I do for some reason, she puts her hand over mine and slowly puts them down, grabbing the knife and throwing it across the room, she grips my hands "You're okey, come on let's sit, alright?" she gives me a smile and I sit down on her bed, I put my legs to my chest and rest my arms on them, my left hand unconsciously glides over my scar on the right, I can sense her looking at the scar around my wrist, Peggy crouches down in front of me and takes my hands in hers "Lorna, listen to me, no matter how long you stay with me i PROMISE I will never hurt you, and i WILL keep you safe from them," I nod, she stares at me for a few seconds, she pats my knee and stands up she looks at her watch "We still have a few hours until we need to get to the SSR, try to rest, I'll make some tea and you can tell me about your little midnight adventure when it's not this ungodly hour," she raises an eyebrow, I stand up and walk to the couch, I know i'm not going to sleep any time soon, I also know that I left a pretty startled and worried Peggy who probably is only going to pretend to sleep as well, but for some reason I feel a bit safer now that I did a couple hours ago.

Hope you liked it, comment are always appreciated and i might have been listening to safe and sound AND katniss is chosen from the hunger games soundtrack on repeat while writing this sooo you might want to do that to, it gives it a ✨fluffy angsty feeling✨. It was a bit rushed since I have like 20 school project but I hope you enjoyed ideas and prompts are welcomed <3