Going to my first class was tough this week. Well, getting out of bed itself was tough enough. But, going to my first class was worse. A particular Gryffindor I've become fond of shares every class with me. Trying to dig deep, asking me what he did is what bothers me most. He didn't do anything. It wasn't him at all. I just wish I could tell him that once. I can't, though. I've already broken father's trust too many times. If I do so once more my life, along with Harry's life, will become so much worse.
In potions class, he sat at a table near me, whispering to me to ask if I would talk to him. In Defense Against the Dark Arts, he flew a paper to me to ask if we could meet after class. At lunch, he waved and smiled my way. In the halls, he tried to walk beside me. Its all just a nightmare. One that I'd wish would end. I want to talk to him so bad. I want to go on another date with him. I want to enjoy my days with him like I had. My life would be so much better if I didn't fall for him. But I did, and I'm so insanely happy that I did. I enjoy seeing the look on his face when I turn his way. I love the way he tries to get my attention even when I'm trying so hard to ignore him. I love the way that he loves me.
If it weren't for Harry, I probably wouldn't be here. I probably wouldn't be so sad. But, I also wouldn't be so happy. I've never felt this kind of love before. It's so bittersweet. I don't know if I should cry, or laugh, or smile. Maybe I shouldn't do any. Love is so hard. But it's so beautiful. It's completed my life. It's completed me in a way I never thought it would. Harry made me believe that I can spend the rest of my life living happily ever after. He made me believe I deserved it. Deserved to be happy, loved, and treated with care.
Harry was the one. Was. Like he still isn't? Of course he is.
I'm really hoping this year will pass faster. After this year ends I can be on my very way. Become a professor, away from Harry. I'm sure he'll become and aurora. He's a perfect fit. But I, I'll become a professor and move along without Harry. Without all the trouble of having to wake up everyday and wonder if Harry will still love me the same as he did the day before. Without wondering if father will rip us apart. And without all the love in my heart that's ripping to shreds every single day I don't speak to him.
I had liked Harry even before the eighth year started. I never wanted to accept it, of course. But, I did. I know I did. His story always intrigued me. But, how different he is from what people think. How much more perfect he is. Nobody will ever know just how much he cares for everyone. Until someone does. Until Harry finds the next one. His next love. Because after I forget him, he'll forget me too. He wont recall the date we had. He wont recall the study sessions we had. He wont even remember our first kiss. Or how in sync we felt the first time we believed our love would last.
Everything will change..
After I stop speaking to him for good.
After he stops trying to reach out to me.
After we graduate.
We go out separate ways.
Why can't I have this one thing? The one thing I want to keep in my life is him. Harry is the one I want to keep forever and never let go of. I want to wake up to him each morning, no matter how much pain it may bring me. I want him to hold me and whisper sweet nothings as if they're gonna keep me happy forever. I want him for myself.
I don't want Harry to save someone else. I don't want him to scare someone else. I don't want him to love someone else.
I don't care how selfish I am. How foolish I may seem. Or how unapologetic I will be. Harry is the one thing I want to keep.
But I won't. I won't try. I won't try to keep him. Because I don't want him to be hurt. I don't want my father to hurt him. I'd rather be sad the rest of my life then witness the death of my one thing.
But I can wish. And I'll wish until I die. And I'll hope. I'll hope that one day, soon, that I'll get the courage to tell off my father. The courage to be with Harry forever. And the courage to love him without feeling the need to apologize for something.
A/N omg wow, I'm actually starting to update again. Next chapter coming soon! Tysm for 16k reads!~
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Through the Eyes of Draco Malfoy
Fanfiction!!(Complete atm)!! !!!{{[ Future chapters to be posted]}}!!! ___________________________ Draco Malfoy has been used and abused by his father and family since he was a child, but who is willing to help him? All they see is a death eater. During eight...
