Our Undesirable Love (Editing)

Chapter 22

Jason POV

Well, you see, I have actually been enjoying school these past few weeks. 

People don't know that I am not just dating Susan; she's actually my fiance. 

Yes, our parents signed a contract that we would be married when we turned twenty. I was surprised when I heard the news, for I am not interested in Susan, I just told my friends that so that people won't know what was really going on.

 I know I have kissed Susan before, but it's a normal thing for our group. I hate the fact that they are forcing us to be together. I think that's the reason Susan actually sleeps with a lot of boys in school.

 She's trying to anger her parents even though they are no longer together. She said her mother would benefit more from her marriage, I mean if we ever get married.

 I know she's attracted to girls and has always seen how she looked at Violet, but I never knew why she would tell Violet she likes me. I guess she got scared of telling her. The reason why I accept this marriage is because I love my family. 

You see, they are not my real parents, yes! They are not. They told me someone dropped me at their doorstep when they went on a holiday. 

They were so happy, they've always wanted a child. To them, I was a blessing. Mom always said ever since she adopted me and took me home, I became a blessing to them. 

You see, a few months after I started staying with them, she got pregnant. She was so excited, she gave birth to a triplet, two boys and a girl. I know you'll be wondering why they are not in school with me.

 Well, they went to visit their grandparents, and I am guessing they are enjoying the place. You would ask why I am not with them; they actually hate me, Mom's grandparents. 

They hate the fact that I was adopted into their home. They didn't like that I was involved in their family or how their daughter wasted money on my treatment. 

They sometimes called me a gold digger or a bastard. You know, I don't actually get it. Why will they call me these things? It's not my fault that I was found there, but my parents didn't care; they loved me no less.

 So when they told me I was to be wedded to Susan, I wanted to refuse, but when I think of the things they've done for me, I feel obligated to do it. I have no choice but to accept it.

 Even though I am in love with someone else. You see, I like this girl in school, though she's shy and a little nerdy but I like her that way. She always tutors me in maths. Gosh, I fucking hate that subject.

Actually, I hate calculations. It's not like I wasn't smart, sometimes I just find it difficult to understand, but since Kate started tutoring me, I found it a little easy. It went on for months, and I actually flirted with her, she blushed a lot, but I do know she likes me.

 I finally had the courage to ask her out, and she accepted, but when I went home, I got the marriage contract. 

I didn't know how to tell her, you see, she saw Susan kissing me, ever since that day she stopped tutoring me, she won't talk to me. I want to explain everything to her, but she won't look at me, and her friends were always with her when I tried to talk to her. I want to tell her everything.

I can't lose her. I am in love with her. Everything I do with Susan is just for show. Susan told me someone had been watching us, that our parents were keeping an eye on us.

 She actually hated kissing me, she took it on herself to sleep with boys so that her parents would call off the contract stuff, but no, they refused. I was actually the first person she told she was gay. 

I felt pity for her. I promised myself that if we actually got married, I would make sure she sleeps with any woman she wanted. I would not stop her from having an affair with anyone, she's my friend, and I like her that way, just as friends.

 We didn't actually have sex, but we wanted people to think that we actually did. But I have never done it with anyone before. Susan always made sure she came to my house and prepared me on what to say to my male friends. 

In case they asked me if I had sex with her but truly have never done it, I can never do it. I actually only want to do it with the woman I love and marry. I know it sounds stupid. 

Children of my age have a lot of sex, but I am not like most teenagers. I want to keep myself for my wife. I actually don't want to marry a virgin, I want a girl that is experienced in that aspect so that it won't be weird when we do it, but if she's a virgin, I don't mind.

 At least we'll learn everything together. Everyone thought I slept with Susan, but that's not true. I have never gone past kissing with her. I am just too embarrassed to tell my friends that.

You see, ever since the twins started this school, everything has been going well. I like them, they are so calm and friendly, and Maddy talks a lot, but I love it.

 Don't get me wrong, I don't like them the way you're thinking; I like them as if they were my sisters, just like Susan.

 Even though Addy didn't talk to anyone, every time she looks at me, her expression is always calm, but when other guys talk to her, she's always building up walls against them. I wonder why?.

And as for Violet, I knew she liked me ever since we were kids. I heard her say it to everyone, and she actually told me the day I went to her house for a sleepover. 

We were, I think, ten at that time, we always made sure we had sleepovers at least once or twice a week in our house, and that day was actually their turn to sleep in their place.

 We all slept early, but I usually don't go to bed early. I don't know why. I sleep late, and I don't feel sleepy the next day. Maybe it is from my real parents' genes. 

While I was awake, I heard someone stand up and come closer to me. She touched my hair and said, "I'm in love with you, Jason. I hope you feel the same way about me."

I don't like her that way. I only see her as my sister. So I tried staying away from her, but it didn't work. As we grew older, her feelings for me grew as well. 

I thank God that Susan was there for me. I did tell her that I didn't like Violet that way, but I didn't know how to make her stop liking me, and I don't know if I would be able to reject her. I don't want her to cry. 

Susan always said I was too good for this world. She promised to help me, but no matter how much she kissed me, it only made Violet angry and wanted me more. I like the fact the twins came to this school; since they started here, Violet has always been with Maddy.

 I think she likes her company and that's good, it will take her mind off me. But unfortunately, they are not talking at the moment. I hope they walk things out soon.