sage | karl jacobs

4

I open a cabinet, pulling out a clean pair of sheets to put them on the guest bed. It's a smaller room, with a large glass mirror covering the closet doors. It's the same theme as the rest of my house, lots of white and tan tones. I can hear Karl in the room over, throwing the broken glass into the trash can. 

The sheets are a mess, but I don't really care how they look. If he wants to fix it, he can. I walk to my bedroom, cracking the door in case Karl ended up needing something. I turn on some music to distract myself from earlier. I peel my shirt off my body, standing in front of the mirror. Cold air hits my skin and my eyes drift to my figure in the mirror, seeing a thin layer of goosebumps appear on the exposed skin. 

I move my hands to my pants, untying the drawstrings, and shifting them into the waistband to pull them down. In the mirror, I can see near every inch of my body. My short brown hair is ruffled all over, slightly bringing out all my other facial features. My cheekbones poke out slightly, a flush apparent on my cheeks. My green eyes stand out more than any of my other features. More than the way my waist curves, more than my height. 

I'm taller than most girls, something I've always been insecure about, just about 5'9. My hands move from my face, dragging all along the exposed skin on my body. My hands drift to my bra, brushing over the pink fabric. I turn away from the mirror, a smile light on my face.

I walk into my closet, hands shuffling over multiple articles of clothing. I settle on a white button-up that I remember stealing from Karl a while ago and take the piece out of the closet. I set it down on my bed, turning to my desk for a hair tie. When I stand up, a pair of large, warm hands wrap themselves around my waist. 

I exhale, hearing a shift in the floorboards, then a chin on my shoulder. "I'm sorry for the bottle," he says, the scent of alcohol filling the room. "No, you're not. But I told you that it's fine, and that you need to go to bed." He groans in protest, moving away from my body to my bed. "I am sorry, baby. I had no right to do that." 

"I told you, Karl, it's fine." I turn to see the boy, snuggled up on the side of the bed I don't sleep on, already asleep. I want to move him, get him out of my space, but I can't. All day I wanted to be able to sleep in the same bed as him again, just not like this. I lean over, pulling the shirt I had grabbed over my head. 

I turn back to the sleeping boy, grabbing an extra blanket to put on his body. I lay down next to him, moving in the bed to get more comfortable when his arms wrap around my body again. "Karl," I start, only to get cut off. "Please," he whispers. The words are filled with venom. They don't come out harsh, or stern, more like the kind of poison the works after a little bit. The slow burn. "Alright."

I don't think I've made a good decision since I got back.

***

I wake up to someone moving behind me. My heart drops for a minute when I remember who it is. Part of me is happy it's him, the other wishes it's some random dude I picked off the street. I sigh, sitting up to see him still passed out. Thank God for alcohol. I rise to my feet, everything immediately going black. I force out an exhale, my vision returning to me. I turn around to see Karl, holding an extra pillow like he held me last night, a smile forming slightly on my face. I walk into the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my hair, then walk to the kitchen. 

To no surprise, the floor is still coated with glass shards. I stride to the closet, slightly slipping on the tile. I catch myself on somebody's arm, their other arm moving to my waist to help me stand up. "Good morning," he says, a smile bright on his face. His voice is deeper than usual, and the rasp in his voice is more apparent. He spins his body to the closet door, opening it, pulling out the vacuum. He plugs it into the wall, and starts to clean the glass-covered kitchen, hand never leaving my waist. I want to pull away, I want to run out of this house, I want to punch him in the face or scream at him, but I don't. 

I let his hands stay on my body all day. When we showered, when we ate, when we went to the store. Earlier in the day, he suggested we go to the movie theatre, and I agreed. I tilt my head to see the boy, his hand on my leg, a purple glow illuminating his face. He looks simply angelic. I want to kiss him right now, he's been good since we left the house, but the masks are in the way. The doctor told me they were mandatory, and I don't want to disobey it. I also don't mind them; I just really want to kiss him right now. 

My moods and feelings towards Karl are so confusing. Most of the time, I want to yell at him or hit him with my car because he can act like a little bitch; and the other time, I just want to kiss him. Who knew it'd be this difficult? When we broke up, he told me I manipulated him, and that I was the problem. But was I actually the problem? No, I don't think so. Since I got back in contact with Karl, he's done nothing but lie to me. 

What is going on inside his head? He's doing everything he never used to do, or that I knew of. Now he's smoking, drinking, and lying. This isn't my boy. 

Karl POV

This movie is honestly awful. Everything about the last 8 months have been awful. I got high and did stupid shit with Chandler, then dumped my girlfriend, with no real memory on how or why. Then, she got in an accident and almost died. She wouldn't have been in that accident if I kept her safe. 

So, since I saw her again, my hands have been all over her. Mainly so I know she's real, or that she isn't going anywhere and that I have her again. But really, I don't have her again. I lost her, I pushed her away. And for some reason, she's still here.

I turn to the girl on my left, only to make direct eye contact with her. A purple tone is spread across her stunning face, and I can tell by the way her eyes are that she's smiling. I want to kiss her. I need her touch again, her love. I just need her. I'm craving her. Like a withdrawal. I was addicted to Sage, addicted. It felt like I could just smoke her then all my problems would go away. Obviously, I can't though. But I am able to touch her again.

I want to kiss her

I want to kiss her

I want to kiss her

Fuck it.

I pull down my mask, pressing myself into her space, pulling her mask down as well, pressing our lips together. They move together with an extreme heat and passion, like we'll never kiss again. It's different this time. It's more intense than we ever have kissed before, heat almost burning. It's all lust, no love. I press harder into the kiss, feeling as her body completely melts with the contact, her hands shooting to hook into my hair. I bite her lip, pulling away.

The look on her face says it all.

We are going to destroy each other this time.