sage | karl jacobs

6

"What do you mean 'breaking us'?" he asked. I don't think I can look at him without crying harder, but I don't care anymore. I grab his hands from my body, holding them tight in my own. I gaze into his eyes, trying my hardest not to break the contact, and take a deep breath.

"I was the reason we fell apart. I broke you; I broke us. I hurt you over and over again, and you stayed. And by staying, I just hurt you more. I'm so, so sorry Karl."

I look down, complete shame filling my body, until it's almost unbearable. One of his hands lets go of mine, tilting my face up to meet his. A few of his tear's rest on his face, which is also coated in a light pink blush. He smiles, letting my face go. He turns away, unbuckling his seatbelt. "Come on," he says quietly. I look up from my lap to see my garage in front of me. I sigh, unbuckling my belt, and wipe my tears. 

I open the door to be met with a beautiful boy, a smile on his tear-stained cheeks. He grabs one of my hands, walking me up to my front door. He jams the key into the lock, twisting until the door flew open. He bends down, hands hooking under my knees, lifting me to a princess carry. He presses a soft kiss to my lips and then pulls away, our faces centimeters apart. 

"You didn't break us, baby. We both made lots of mistakes. And if you still think you broke us, which you didn't, I forgive you. I'll forgive you forever and ever, because I love you. You don't have to say it back yet, but I love you, and I never stopped. I promise you, Sage Miller, you are going to fall in love with me again. I'll make sure of it. I promised I'd marry you, and I plan to keep that promise, alright?"

I nod at the boy, and he flashes a toothy smile back at me. He looks ahead, walking us into the house. He kicks the door shut behind him, leaving a faint footprint on it, next to many others. He carries me to the kitchen, setting me down on the counter. "I mean it, Sage. I really do." 

I pull him into a tight embrace, trying to savor every moment I could ever have with him, like it would always be the last. 

"What you said last night, and yes I remember, I thought about it. You said that if you were going to change, to be better for me, than I would have to do the same for you. If there's anything I can do to be the best I can for you, let me know." 

"Yes sir," I say to him, and his smile grows slightly. "I'll do the same for you."

"Promise?" He extends his pinky finger out to me. "Promise what?" I ask. "Promise me that we will do our best to be the best we can be for each other, no matter what. Promise that we'll work through any problems that come our way instead of avoiding them. Promise we will always stay in touch, no matter what happens."

I extend my pinky finger to his, interlocking it. "I promise." His happy smile fades into something that seemed more genuine, more meaningful. "Sage," he says to me, intertwining our fingers on the marble counter. "Karl."

He laughs a little bit, fumbling with the edge of his shirt, then takes a deep breath. "Can we try again? Please?"

"Like, in a relationship?"

"Yeah, in a relationship. God, Sage, I missed you so fucking much. When I left, I couldn't even breathe, I screamed and cried for hours after I realized what I did. I need you; I crave you. You're my addiction, my drug. Every time I saw you in the hospital, I almost lost it because I knew you weren't mine anymore." He sighs, inhaling the air, an odd tension filling the room. "Karl, I'm always going to be yours. Whether you like it or not. A part of me will always belong to you. You know that, right?"

He nods, taking another deep breath. "Will you be my girlfriend again, Sage?"

"Will you be my boyfriend again, Karl?" He laughs a little, the tension immediately fading. "Of course, I will."

"Then yes, Karl. I will be your girlfriend again." He moves away from me, sliding along the tile floor, shooting his left hand in the air. I laugh at him, a blush appearing on both of our faces. I sit around for a while, watching him celebrate by a dance party. I hop off the tile, grabbing my phone out of my pocket to open Spotify. I click around for a minute, settling on the playlist titled, my honk boy <3.

I set the object on the counter, turning up the volume to let it play as loud as possible. I run over to Karl, wrapping my arms around his neck, his arms around my waist. He pulls me in as tight as he can, swaying us to the music, rubbing shapes into my skin with his thumbs. We dance for a while, letting the music stain our souls. 

The sun sets, and Karl makes us cereal for dinner, the same playlist playing, but now it's on the house speakers. He sets my bowl on my lap, and he sits in front of me. He scoots closer on the tile, humming along to the song as he eats. I know this song. Until I found her, Stephan Sanchez. His hums turn into him poorly singing the lyrics, making me sing along with him.

The night is filled with laughter and love, the lust from earlier all gone. I know he's going to destroy me if something messes it up, and I really hope that neither he nor I are the reason this time. He's my best friend, and I never want to lose him, or have him lose me ever again.

Before I know it, it's 1 a.m., and he's back in my bed and in my arms, and I'm back in his shirt that I stole over a year ago. Rain begins to sprinkle down on the concrete outside, the sound filling my room alongside the fan and our breaths.

 I turn to face him, to see him awake still. His eyes stare into mine, as if he's trying to drink the sight up. I study his gray eyes, every fold and dent in the color that I can see in the darkness. "You're beautiful, you know," he says. His voice breaks the silence, and it's rough, raspy. Addicting. Everything about him is addicting.

"Not as beautiful as you."