sage | karl jacobs

12

TW: slight gore

The sugary smell of waffles and pancakes fill my body as we leave the hotel, passing through the breakfast area once more. 

Karl clutches to the bag he brought for us and my waist, making sure to walk directly by my side. Freshly painted nails rest on top of the dress I'm wearing. In a dark green shade. He's wearing a white button-up, the top buttons undone, pairing it with dark green pants. 

I open the door for him, his hands never leaving my waist until we got to the car. 

One direction and the High School Musical soundtrack fills the car. It drowns out the sound of other passing cars and the sound of his car on the road. He hums quietly with the music, barely audible for me to hear. The sound is sweet, like it's pulling strings of candy through my soul. 

"Hey Sage?" he asks, breaking the comfortable tension. "Yeah?" I ask back, turning my head towards him. "Do you want to try driving again soon? You don't have to, I was just-" 

"Sure," I say, the words flying out of my mouth before I even have time to think about a response. I don't even think I want to drive again. The responsibility. The slight pressure. The feeling of having my hands on the steering wheel again seems too scary.

But I'll never know if I never try, right?

I sigh, turning back towards the window. "Are you sure?" His voice fills my head, but I can't comprehend them. Memories of driving alongside a hill, right above the ocean, my sister to my right. I close my eyes, taking another deep breath. 

Her hand moves to the volume, turning it up. A smile lights up her face as she plugs the aux cord into her phone. She had just gotten Spotify, after months of me telling her it's better that Apple Music. She had been trying to cheer me up most of the car ride, and some occasional smiles and laughs had been given out. 

I think Violet knew that I had something going on, yet I hadn't told anybody yet. I needed to scream, cry, yell, hit something, maybe throw something and hopefully break it; but I was in the car with my little sister. 

I sighed, knowing that she already knew something was up. "Karl and I broke up on Sunday, V. I don't know what to do right anymore," I say, slowing the car to a stop at a traffic light. I run my hands over my eyes to try and suppress incoming tears. "Wanna scream?" she asks me, earning a smile in response with a small nod. 

Throughout this vague memory, I can hear someone calling my name. 

She knew I never really liked explaining what happened or what was going on, so even earning that small piece of information seemed to satisfy her. 

She tapped her phone a few times as I started to drive again, playing Everybody Talks by Neon Trees; a song we always screamed to. The words were barely comprehensible over our out-of-pitch singing. A smile had been stitched onto my face for the first time in over a week. The song faded out into Classic by MKTO, having us dancing in our seats. 

Laughter and lyrics filled the car, and overwhelming amount of serotonin in my body. Violet sung beautifully along with the lyrics, aggressively bobbing her head and dancing in our seat. 

"Oh! So, the other day at school, the girl I like asked me to prom!"

"Really? That's awesome V!"

"Thanks! I'm so excited!"

"I bet you are," I say. 

"You're over my head, I'm out of my mind!" we sing the words together. Out of the intensity of our singing, I shut my eyes, loosening my grip on the wheel as I look up. "I love you, Sage. I just hope you know that." 

"I love you too, Violet." I open my eyes as the light ahead of us turns green, I almost ran a red light. My front wheels cross the white line, going into the intersection. "Sage, look out!" Violet yelled next to me. I turn my head in her direction, pressing my foot on the break. But I was too late. A car from the other street ran the red-light, hitting the top right corner of my car. They were going at least 50 miles an hour. The last thing I see is Violet's head hitting the dashboard, instantly knocking her out, blood splattering around with the broken glass of my windshield. One glass shard hits Violet's head, impaling through the skin; another stabbing into her back.

"Violet!" I scream, and she's gone. Hands are on me in an instant, pulling off my seatbelt. My chest connects with somebody else's, delicious vanilla and lavender scent filling my lungs.

Cold hands retract from my back, forcing themselves gently onto the sides of my face. Through a cascade of tears, a blurry Karl sits in front of me with a worried look on his face. 

I try to open my mouth, to speak, but a choked sob comes out instead. "Hey, it's okay. Take a deep breath. Look at me," he commands, and I do so. My hands moved to hold his as I follow his demands. 

"She's dead because of me, Karl. Because of me. If I just looked to my right, I would've seen the car. I would've fucking seen it coming! But I didn't! And now she's dead!" 

He takes my hands in his, holding them tight to his chest. "Look at me. God dammit, Sage, just look at me!" I look at him, tears rolling down my cheeks. "You are not the reason she's dead. They ran the light. And hell! They died too! It's not on you, and it never will be! Alright?" 

I nod, and Karl pulls me tight to his chest.

It took me all this while to realize we're in his garage. And to no surprise, Jimmy, Chris, and Chandler's cars are all gone. I open the car door, slamming it behind me. I run to Karl and wrap my arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry I've been so much to put up with recently."

"No. Don't be sorry, Sage. Something terrible happened to you. You're allowed to hurt in any way you need to."

"Yeah, but you got hurt too," I say.

"Not like you did," he says, pressing a sincere kiss to my forehead. "C'mon."