I Knew You Were Trouble

Chapter Seventeen

I don't know how long I had been staring at the wall, trying to get a tighter grip on my mixed and dissarrayed emotions.

It could have been minutes, hours, or even just seconds. But for some reason, I couldn't take my gaze off of the little water stained spot on the wall.

In a way, it was kind of playtonic, and ironic at the same time. That spot was just sitting there, not moving, never changing, forever stuck in the same little pattern on the same wall. After however long I was sitting there, I just became more disgusted.

Wondering, why the spot just stays the same, and nothing ever changes.

It was a stupid thought, really. But for some reason, I couldn't stop staring at it. I wanted to get white paint and paint over it. I wanted to do something.

But no matter how much paint you put over it, the spot was still there on the inside. It was still tainted, and slowly making it's way outwards.

Maybe it needed closure.

Okay, this was just ridiculous. I was sitting on the floor in my room, staring at the wall, and talking about a water stain as if it was an animate object. God, I was pathetic.

The front door slammed and I knew it was Sarah. She was the only person on the planet that slammed the door as if she was being chased by a murderer. That, and she was the only other one that lived in this trashy apartment.

"I'm home!" Sarah yelled. The aroma of Noodles & Company drifted into the room and I perkily, stood up and sauntered into the kitchen.

My stomach growled as I approached her and she turned with a smile.

"I got a guy's phone number today." She said cheerily, pulling out a container of spaghetti and meatballs with extra marinara sauce before handing it to me.

I greedily took it and inhaled the delightful scent of tomatoes, garlic and fresh herbs.

"You get someone's phone number almost every day." I pointed out. Sarah shrugged.

"Yeah, but there's something about this guy that seems...mysterious and playful." She grinned widely. My mind drifted to Jax and my ever evolving boy issues. Is there anyway that they could disappear?

"What's his name?" I asked. Sarah blushed.

"Daren. He's so cute, and sweet. He asked me out for Friday. Hey, maybe we could all double date! Me and Daren and you and Jax!" Sarah exclaimed, a huge grin spreading across her cheeks. I just smile politely and tried to ignore her mindless rambling once more.

 I really didn't even know where Jax and I were anymore. I wasn't sure if we were dating, or just friends...I wasn't even sure if we were that.

Ever since Jax, Evan and Ben just decided to hop into my life, I've completely lost my mind. I became boy crazy and obsessed with all the little things in my life that could go wrong. I wasn't even really sure if I was Willow anymore.

As Sarah went on about school and the Daren guy, I was reminded of the night that Ben and I stood on a balcony outside of an apartment we lived in for a month in New York.

The moon was out, but the stars were faded, the city lights cast an eerie glow against the horizon, hiding the stars from view. It had been a while since I'd seen all the stars. The city had been a terrible place to live so far.

It was crowded, the people were rude, and I felt alone. A few weeks ago, I had been in the hotel with Ben, the first time that we shouted at each other and he threatened to hit me. He hadn't been the same in a while. He was there, but his mind was long gone. I wondered if he was like that before he even met me.

The lights were on, but nobody was home? That kind of thing.

I wouldn't lie anymore. I was afraid of Ben now. He acts like he doesn't notice, like he isn't aware that I'm terrified he'll hurt me. He was the reason why I cried all the time. And the bastard acted like he wasn't at fault for it.

Sometimes I felt as if I was drowning. Like I was losing air while he watched, falling deeper in love with him, but also feeling so torn and miserable as well. It was awful, emotionally and physically. I wasn't even sure I wanted to hang around anymore.

His large leather jacket was hanging around my shoulders, the sleeves way too long and draping down around my thighs. I felt two arms wrap around my waist suddenly and I flinched. Ben's cologne filled my nostrils and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to lean into him and forgive him for everything. But I had to remain strong.

Even though I was so in love with him that it hurt.

"Why are you out here in the cold, babydoll?" He asked, pressing a soft kiss to my neck that had me shivering in desire. It was such a strange feeling, to be so wrapped up in someone that you never noticed anything else.

"Just thinking." I murmured. He chuckled.

"That's dangerous, Babydoll. If someone finds out they'll take you away." His arms tightened around me and I felt so disgusted with myself. I was, once again, falling for his charm and the way he spoke to me. So softly and kind. But I also felt as if something wasn't right. As if his arms didn't fit so perfectly around me anymore.

Ben turned me around so that I was facing him, pressed against his chest. My hands rested on his pecks and his were placed on my lower back. My pink hair fluttered around in the wind, gently caressing my face as I looked up at his stubbled jaw and smooth personality.

This didn't feel right anymore. Ben pulled me closer and gave me a long kiss. I was sure there wasn't much of a spark anymore. Just fear.

Fear of my feelings. Fear of him. Fear of the downward spiral my life has taken.

Just fear.

And it was the worst feeling ever.

"Earth to Will!" Sarah snapped her fingers in front of my face and I glanced up, startled. She rolled her eyes and rested her hands on her hips.

"Why were you spacing out? It's not like I'm that boring." Sarah said. My heart was pounding in my ears as I finally realized what I needed to do.

I finally had everything pieced together.

I finally knew how to fix my life and slowly put it back into place.

And it would all start tomorrow.

I would change everthing. Starting with the people around me.

I stood, not answering her and determinedly walking to our bedroom. Things were going to change. I was going to change.

My life was going to be back on track and I was going to put it back together.

I was leaving Foster's Corner.

***

A/N DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!!!

Hey everyone! I know it's been a while, but I kind of hit a little bit of writer's block. But as you can see, that didn't exactly stop me from putting this up. I'm just telling you now, there's going to be two more chapters, then an epilogue, and then the books finished. Twenty chapters! Voila!

The rest of the chapters will be two pages, because you all know how well I like even numbers.

But anyway, I GOT A JOB! Working at a cookie bakery no less. Just to be honest, you don't get to sit around and eat cookies all day. Oh, no. It's way harder than that. Just a head's up if you apply to any places like that.

Also, I'd love some banners. So if you wanna make one, send me a PM. I'll give you an email and you can send them to me. But also, I don't know how to put them on here, so if you could tell me, that'd be nice.

That's all. Thanks for reading!

Vote, Comment, Fan and Follow me on Twitter!: @JoLeeXD1

Lotsa Love,

C