I Knew You Were Trouble

Chapter Nineteen

It was just how I left it.

The porch swing rocked back and forth in the breeze and the flowers in the garden tilted to the side with each gust.

The neighborhood was quiet, no one outside on this gorgeous day, although I think it was because it was a weekday and everyone was either at work or school.

I let the duffel bag fall from my shoulder as I looked upon the white two story house with dark green trim. The cherry blossom tree that leaned up against the side of the house. The petals drifted to the ground after playfully caressing the wall.

I always used to say that the white picket fence was too cliche' and that the stone pathway with hand prints every other step was too weird.

I guess I never knew what I had until it was gone.

I stepped up to the fence, unlatching the little gate and pushing on, my heart yearning to step on those steps once more and to rest my feet on the small outdoor coffee table across from the porch swing.

I walked up the lawn, looking down at the hands that grew bigger with every step, a sequence of life in it's very own.

When my foot hit the first step to the porch I nearly cried. It had been a while since I heard that sound.

I took the two other steps and then crossed the porch, sitting delicately on the swing as if it would break.

As I leaned back, I pulled the navy blue duvet down and wrapped myself into it, smelling the scent of cherry blossoms and downy fabric softener. There was a faint smell of chanel number five and I knew that the blanket had been used recently.

My whole life was wrapped up in the front of this house. It was where I would play with my father when I was younger, where my mother would tend her little garden and laugh as my father and I wrestled.

It was also where I cried when my father passed after I turned twelve.

This was my home, and I didn't know why I thought it was any different. Although my mother wasn't really one for change and liked to keep things the same and tidy.

As if my thoughts willed it to happen, I heard the sound of a car coming down the street.

It was a black 2006 Lexus and my heartbeat doubled as I watched it pull into the driveway about thirty yards away. My hair blew into my face and the dark tinted windows both blocked my view of the person in the driver's seat.

I held my breath as that door opened and out stepped a woman in a beige suit with her blonde hair pulled into a tight top bun. She was wearing skin colored heels and had a small black ear piece in her ear.

"Well, George, I don't know what to tell you...Yes, the Wilson case is on my desk as we speak....No, I don't know about the court date,  that's your job...." She laughed "Of course....six okay?.....Alright, see you then....love you too....bye." she hung up and grasped her briefcase in her hand tightly.

She was staring down at her Blackberry as she walked up the other stone pathway from the driveway and only looked up when she was on the deck.

I watched silently, dreading every second as she looked up from her phone and met my eyes.

At first I saw wonder, and then pain. And then anger, but it all disappeared when she said my name.

"Willow?" She whispered, her voice cracking and raising slightly. My heart threatened to beat out of my chest as I bit my lip, remaining quiet.

My mother dropped her briefcase on the wood flooring and then slowly walked towards me, the front door and her work completely forgotten.

She sat on the edge of the porch swing and stared at me. I noticed her fingers twitch and I wondered what that was supposed to mean as I gazed back at her evenly.

"What...How...When-?" She trailed off, blinking rapidly as if I wasn't actually there.

"Do you remember that picnic we went on with dad when I was nine?" I asked, looking away and staring longingly at the front yard.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw her nod.

"I remember Dad and I playing catch while you ate strawberries on the blanket. I gave up and tossed my glove on the ground because I kept throwing ground balls. Dad came up and wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me. And then he whispered 'Sometimes people do things they weren't supposed to, but there will always be someone who will forgive them, so I forgive you, Tree.' and then you took a picture. I forgot that picture when I left. And I did something I wasn't supposed to. I was hoping that, you would be the one to forgive me?" I looked over at her, tears welling up in my eyes.

My mother was already wiping away a fallen tear and nodded vigorously. I pulled my arms out of the blanket and then wrapped them around her waist, clutching her to me tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Mommy. I love you." I hugged her tighter than I could and she just chuckled through her tears a little.

"I should be sorry, baby. I love you so so much." She clutched me to her and we hugged for who knew how long.

And when the sun went down, we sat on the porch, as I told her everything.

About being in love.

About my struggles with drugs and alcohol.

I told her about Burning Man.

I even told her all about Sarah and how we met, to which she only laughed.

Then I told her about Jax, and Evan.

And I told her aboslutely everything about Ben.

It was the one time that I had felt so connected with my mother.

And the time that I felt the happiest.

Of course, I was damaged goods, but that was what made me so unique right? That I was stronger in every way possible because I went through so much. I don't regret every mistake I made anymore, because without those mistakes, who was I really?

I was Willow Smith, and that was how I liked it.

THE END

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A/N Well, it's finally over! Thanks for sticking with me guys! If you saw any mistakes throughout the story, let me know and I'll fix them!

Love you all!

The epilogue will be up shortly!

Lotsa Love,

C