Down The Highway

Chapter Forty-Seven

I immediately stepped away from Shawn and looked at Dylan who was a distance away from us. He didn't notice he was there in front of us but I did. My brain was clueless about what to do and I was having side thoughts. Not sure if I would go to him and apologize for what he just saw or should I ignore him and pretend that I didn't see him. Those were my two options but neither one of those was good enough for me to do. There are consequences underneath those decision choices.

My eyes met Travis's' but he was completely clueless about what I was thinking. I narrowed at Dylan who is now wiping small tears dripping one by one from his green eyes. I swallowed the air that passed by and Travis looked down at me. Giving me the look asking what I was thinking. I didn't say a word right next to that but I let him notice Dylan.

I wanted not to walk over him but my mind forced me to. Because I knew what would happen next if I don't do as it said. I stood up from the chair and quickly walked as fast as I could towards him. But Travis remained silent and did nothing but innocently sit still on the chair I have been just a few seconds ago. Reminding myself I should do whatever I should to not confess what I was feeling for Travis again, I walked faster than before to reach the churros stall.

Once I made it there, I didn't hesitate to face him though my mind was unsure. "Umm, Dylan, what brings you here?" Those were the first words that popped into my mind. Though I was lacking for them, they still were able to come out of my mouth. He has changed a lot from when I last saw him. Now, he looks like a literary teacher or something related to literature.

Last summer, he is still the Dylan I know when it comes to fashion. The one who used to be cool. But now, I feel like I am dreaming. Because I am seeing Dylan in a suit and tie which is so formal. And to consider it that he is in a public place. I gulped when I saw the two cups of churros in his hands. I just realized that those were probably for both of us. Snacks? We were a little close to my house so I thought he was heading straight forward there. Maybe for me or maybe not.

But the finest thing is that he was there for me.

"Why do you think I am here?" He sobbingly asked.

"To watch you be happy with someone else and know that, that someone else is not me?" His voice became louder, not too much but just enough to consider him mad at me. I began gulping my saliva until my lips and mouth have gone wet.

"Dylan, I... umm, it's... not... what. You, think... it is" I was running out of words but still tried to search for some.

"Oh, so it's not that you're smiling with your eyes closed while leaning on Travis' shoulders when you know that I should be the one sitting right next to you on that chair where I once comforted you?" I guess he was right but if I forgot about it but why not of Travis?

"Jade, it, it... it took you a year to get over him!" He pointed his index finger to Travis who is innocently looking on the ground while constantly playing with his hands. "And we are still in a relationship, but you're back falling for him?" He continued.

I never saw him cry, except for the time his dog died. But for someone else, he never did. Not for me. But right now, he is. "Tell me, Jade, did you drink a potion to simply just forget about me like that and love that guy who once broke your heart?" I wanted to explain every single thing.

But the problem was that I was lacking for words to describe. I can't even describe what I was feeling. Suddenly, I saw how the sky immediately turned from blue to orange. Sunset is starting and here we are, starting to break up. "It's not like that, Dylan. It's different in a way that I can't describe it," I was serious, loving him is different from falling again for Travis.

Because I only loved Dylan once but I always loved Travis. Even if it's just in my heart and I didn't let anyone know that except for my subconscious. "Oh, different huh? Is it because he can send you letters by hiding under the name Xanny? And all I can do is to figure out who he is but there you are still believing the guy who once broke your heart and once hurt you"

He started to rewind the past. The one I never wanted to look back at again. Because it hurts me every time I think of it. And I don't see any single reason why. "No, Trav-" I wasn't even able to finish my sentence because I was supposed to call him by his name but I didn't because Travis is still the one in my head and my heart. Space is not enough to keep Dylan in it.

He interrupted. "See! It's even his name who's coming out of your mouth,"

"Maybe I am just your pillow that you would cry too. You only need me when you're sad but I am useless to you when Travis is there. I guess I can't make you happy as much as he does"

I shouldn't cry but now I am. Realizing that every statement coming out of his mouth was true and I can't deny anything about it. "No, that's not true, Dylan. You know I love because I love you" I can't even give a reason why I love him.

"You don't even know why you do love me"

"This is enough, Jade. I'm done being your pillow. You are done being my owner"

"Let's end this crap that just brings nothing but burdens in us" he added.

I grabbed his hand but he immediately let go and once again, spoke. "It's better to get things done before they start," he pulled it off after I grabbed it again and walked away. I wanted to reach for him and run to him but I didn't. Because I know exactly how this will end.

I would end up looking like a fool, chasing for him while he won't mind me. Considering that he is hurt, his heart is broken. And for the first time, I am the one who broke his heart. I thought he would be the one to do so, but I became the one to do it. I didn't mean it though.