Heart Of Gold

A Plan Is Hatched

"You've got it bad, eh?"

Jake shook his head, brushing of Will's remark. He poured a fresh cup of beer from the keg and chugged it.

"So what was all that about?" Will asked, plopping himself down in a Muskoka chair. He picked up a beer cap from the chair's armrest and flicked it into the crackling bonfire.

Jake groaned, resting his head on the wooden chair's high back.

"I don't even know," he said. "I guess she was sort of involved with the guy before we showed up. So he comes over all jazzed up to surprise her and then sees us walking out from behind the house, and goes crazy."

"Yeah, I caught that part," Will rolled his eyes. "What's she going to do about him?"

"I have no idea. She's coming over next weekend. Dinner. But I don't know what she's planning on doing between now and then. Guess she'll tell me next Saturday."

"Girls, man," Will shook his head. "Crazy, every last one of them."

Jake tossed his empty red cup at Will's head, laughing. "Because you've got so much experience," he teased.

"I've had my fair share," Will protested. "Just because you don't know about them doesn't mean they don't exist."

"Uh huh," Jake said, standing up and stretching. He tossed the plastic cup into the bonfire before turning to Will. "So, how exactly do we put this out?"

Will shrugged. "What are you asking me for?" he said. "I thought you were the guy with all the answers."

"Very funny," Jake said. "Seriously though - how do we put this out?"

"Dude, I am being serious!" Will stood up and surveyed the bonfire. "You're the man with the plan."

"I thought you knew!" Jake groaned. "You built it!"

"You lit it!"

"Great," Jake shook his head. "What are we supposed to do now?"

"Normally I would say we should piss on it but that fire's still huge," Will said. "I'm not putting Little Willy anywhere near that."

"I would seriously reconsider calling it that in public ever again," Jake said solemnly.

"Fine," Will jumped up from his chair and flexed his biceps. "How about 'Rocky and Bullwinkle?'"

Jake shook his head.

"The CN Tower?"

Jake burst out laughing. "You know what? That's not half bad," he grinned.

"Yeah man!" Will raised his hand for a high five.

"You know, we still need to figure out what to do about this fire," Jake said.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, dude, but I don't know how to put it out. So I guess we're sleeping outside until it dies down."

Jake groaned, clutching his stomach. "I'm so hungry," he moaned. "If we're staying out, we have to at least get some food. There's none in the house - we have to go shopping tomorrow."

Will scratched his head. "Oh yeah. Let me just whip out my magic wand and conjure some pizza from mid-air," he offered.

"Come on, let's order some."

"I don't have any cash though," Will said.

"Shit." Jake sunk back into his chair. "Neither do I."

They sat like that for a moment, watching the bonfire and thinking about their growling stomachs, when Jake had an idea.

"Dude," he said, sitting straight up. "I'm brilliant - beyond brilliant, actually. You're so lucky to have me for a friend."

"Unless it involves getting us pizza, I don't want to hear it."

"Oh, it does." Jake grinned, a wild glint in his eye. "You know that old cabin just up the road?"

"The spooky place with the blue door?"

"Yeah, that's the one. The driveway's got a whole bunch of trees. Big trees." Jake leaned in conspiratorially. "Trees so thick you can't even see the front door."

Will caught on immediately. "You're seriously brilliant, you know that?"

"That's what I'm told," Jake winked. "Come on, let's order some pizza."

Thirty minutes later, Jake and Will were crouched among the trees lining the driveway of the spooky little cabin. The brush was so thick that anyone standing on the doorstep couldn't see the car they had parked on the driveway.

Jake had only seen the old man who lived here a couple of times and felt pretty sure that he wasn't one to order pizza and wouldn't take kindly to a stranger showing up with one at his door.

The slow crunching of car tires over gravel caught their attention. Headlights peered out of the dark and a beat-up Cadillac rolled around the corner and into the driveway. A pimply teenager got out of the car and popped open the trunk, grabbing a piping hot box of pizza.

Whistling, he wandered up the twisting driveway to the cabin's front door.

"Now!" Jake whispered.

He and Will skirted out from their hiding place and raced for the Cadillac. They popped open the trunk and found seven boxes of pizza, each wafting the most mouthwatering aroma.

One by one, they gently opened the box lids to check what type of pizza lay inside. And thank god they did - the first box Jake reached for contained a Hawaiian pizza, covered in ham and pineapple.

"Gross," he muttered, closing the lid.

Will had a bit more luck, finding an extra-large pepperoni pizza.

"Jackpot," he grinned.

Shouting from the cabin's front door caught their attention. Will ran over to peek through the trees - the old man was shouting and waving his cane angrily at the pimply pizza delivery boy. The boy stumbled backwards, still carrying the pizza, and hurried down the driveway to his car.

"Hurry up!" Will whisper-shouted at Jake.

Jake grabbed a big box of pizza from the trunk without looking inside and gently slammed the trunk shut. Clutching his prize, he sprinted over to crouch behind the trees with Will.

The pimply boy opened the car door and hurried inside. He sped out of the driveway, disappearing down the winding road back into town.

Crouched in the dirt, Will and Jake looked at each other and burst out laughing. They sat there until their stomachs ached, not only from hunger but from laughter as well. Jake couldn't believe that his plan had gone off so perfectly.

"Did I mention before what a genius you are?" Will asked, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "That was fucking amazing!"

Jake popped the lid off his box and grabbed a slice of the cheese pizza within. Lying back on one arm, he chewed happily and watched the night sky above.

Will grabbed a slice of his own, practically inhaling it in his haste.

They sat there, content, for a little while before the howling of a coyote caught their attention and they decided to head back to their cabin.

Within minutes there were reclined in Muskoka chairs, pizza in hand. After devouring their pizzas, both fell deep into a food coma.

The crackling of embers was enough to lull them into drowsiness and despite their best efforts both were soon asleep in their chairs and stayed that way for the rest of the night.

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