Madness Combat oneshots and headcanons

Jebus Headcanons

Notes: Sorry about no updates, my dumb autistic brain decided it didn't want to write anymore lmao
Also I've been working on nsfw Twitter art, I wanna do commissions eventually. Anyways ima speedrun this bitch, prepare for shit writing

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- Dilf dilf milf dilf

- You don't know how you got together, you just know that you impressed him somehow and now you eat popsicles on the couch together. Kinda odd to see such a powerful person sitting on a couch eating a fudgcicle.

- You get used to it though, he's a super sweet guy when not being a badass with a sword and gun. Mans will put his arm over your shoulder while watching tv, little stuff like that is what he specialises in.

- He'll get up a bit before you and make you a bowl of cereal, get groceries when you're busy, just generally is a supportive guy. You often call him your husband because of that. You haven't had your wedding yet, too busy trying to kill Hank.

- Jebus get your ass over here and help plan the itinerary ffs

- He was too nervous to propose actually, you had to lmao. Who would've guessed that one of the most dangerous men in Nevada is too scared to be the one to propose.

- He's quite nervous to do a lot of things with you, it took a lot of reassuring to get him to kiss you without asking. He likes giving forehead kisses the most. Once in awhile he'll give a soft peck on the lips. Like I said, super sweet guy.

- Ok ok, he isn't too keen on hugs, but enjoys them. He mostly just drapes an arm over your shoulders when you sit down together and that's the only thing he'll do. If you want to hug this man, you gotta initiate it.

- Cuddles are a little different. He'll really only cuddle when he's tired. He'll stumble into your bedroom and crawl in bed with you, and refuse to let you go. You can escape after a few minutes because he falls asleep really quickly. He has the power to do that open mouthed sleep thing all grandpas do at family gatherings.

- It doesn't help that he snores. It's not too loud, but it's enough where you can tell he's asleep if you're in the same room as him.

- His beard tickles your face whenever you cuddle with him tho so you can tolerate his snoring

- His hair is kinda gross most of the time. He's usually too busy or tired to shower, it gets greasy. Whenever he does shower though, his hair is pretty soft.

- You often tease him about how you should give him a proper shampoo treatment. He always declines but he secretly wants one.

- He likes having you mess with his hair, but he'll never admit it. His heart does a flip whenever you start running your fingers through it, and it just helps with stress.

- Sometimes he'll randomly wake up and find his hair in braids, and kinda chuckle and go about his day. Nobody tell him about the pony tail though.

- It's quite nice to have someone do your hair for you. Hence, why Jeb gives you the honor of brushing and styling his hair on occasion. For a guy who's balding he can rock a few styles.

- He's probably balding from stress though, someone give this man a massage he needs it.

- Your relationship with Jeb is very domestic and stereotypical. Probably the most normal and stable one in Nevada to be honest.

- You have a dilf with godlike powers and badass fighting skills as your boyfr- husband.

- You lucky son of a bitch

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Notes: my hands hurt lmao, I should probably close requests I have so little motivation to write it's hell. Anyone ever heard of Monkie Kid btw? I'm so close to making a book on it but I know I shouldn't L