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14

ha-na was quick to exit the room, leaving a distraught and heartbroken mun alone in the basement, alone with his own thoughts about the events that took place in that very room.

while mun stayed in the basement, ha-na quickly made way to hyeok, who had already made it out of the noodle shop and part way down the street.

he was moving in a slow pace, his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and his head hung low. ha-na stared at him for a moment before picking up her pace.

she found herself placing her hand on his shoulder and spinning him around, faster than she had intended, causing him to stumble slightly as he was forced around. ha-na caught glimpse of his read face and teary cheeks before he wiped his sleeve over his face. then he looked to her.

"what the fuck do you want?" he asked, his voice low, weak, not at all like the aggressive hyeok she used to know. his words were still sharp, but his tone showed no evidence of that side of him.

ha-na sighed, momentarily looking back to the noodle shop before turning to hyeok. "was that about what i think it was about?"

hyeok wiped his sleeve over his eyes and under his nose once again, looking to the ground. "what do you think it was about?"

she was silent for a moment, watching the boy. then she spoke. "i think it was, and you can correct me if i'm wrong-"

hyeok looked back up to her, watching her search for the right words.

"well, at first i thought it was that mun told you he... had feelings for you," she said, her attention to hyeok growing stronger with every word she said, hoping to catch any evidence that she was right, even though she was almost certain she was. "but i've wondered, just now, if it was you who confessed"

hyeok's breathing slowed as she said those words. how did she know that?

he never even thought of the possibility that those around him and mun would suspect his feelings. he never even suspected these feelings from himself for so long.

but hyeok had nothing more to say, so he turned, prepared to walk away. but he felt ha-na's hand on his arm, gripping it tightly. he turned back around.

however, before hyeok could say something, to tell her off, to make her leave him alone so he could run away, she said, "i need to tell you something." her eyes were fierce, yet soft, and her grip on him seemed to be tender, yet he couldn't free himself from it.

he sighed. "what?"

she was silent for a moment. wind blew gracefully around them, as if they were surrounded by their own bubble, blocking them from the outside world.

hyeok only wished mun was inside of it with them.

and - soon enough - he was.

he wasn't there physically, no, he still lay in the basement of the noodle shop, his eyes unmoved, his mind still on hyeok and how he had just rejected him. though, deep inside, he wished he didn't.

ha-na said only four words to start it all. "do you trust me?"

hyeok didn't respond. he wasn't sure of the answer to that question. but, when she reached her hand up to his forehead, he didn't back away, didn't run, because he hoped she would do something that brought him back to mun.

and she did.

once her hand made contact with hyeok's forehead, he began to see old memories.

he immediately realized that, these were not his memories, but the memories of mun. he saw, on that first night they were together, mun kneeling next to him over the bed. and he felt how mun wanted to be sure he was okay. he saw the following day, when mun had asked him to stay. and he felt a sense of longing, of mun wishing he wouldn't leave. he saw mun the night hyeok showed up on his doorstep, bloody and freezing, and how he took him in. and he felt the worry mun felt for him.

the memories stopped there, and ha-na removed her hand from his head. she watched him carefully. but he paid no attention to her, he only paid attention to the things he was feeling now. they weren't his. or, maybe they were, but they were mixed with mun's. he felt his heartbeat quicken. he felt an ache in his heart. he felt like these feelings were trying to conceal themselves, but couldn't stay down long enough.

and then they faded, leaving hyeok with his own feelings, and only the memory of what mun felt about him.

but that memory pushed him past ha-na, back into the noodle shop, and down into the basement, where mun still lay.

mun's attention was drawn to the door as soon as hyeok stepped inside. he was expecting ha-na, or ms. chu, or even mo-tak. but the last person he expected was hyeok.

his eyes lingered on hyeok for a moment before he turned away. he wasn't sure if he could face him again. but, he had absolutely no choice as hyeok approached him, bent over to grab his hand, and pulled him up. his movement was aggressive, yet so gently, as if he was helping mun up, not forcing him to stand.

mun was shocked by hyeok's movements, so he could only stare at him and his face inched closer.

and then he connected his lips to mun's.

it wasn't a romantic kiss like hyeok had briefly imagined when he first realized he liked mun. their lips were chapped, and hyeok's grip on mun's had was becoming tighter with every passing second, and they were in the dark basement of a noodle shop. but it was still better than anything hyeok had ever imagined.

mun wanted to pull away, but at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to stay here, in this place. and eventually he sunk into the kiss, his eyes closing and his body becoming less tense.

and then hyeok pulled away. he'd let go of mun and taken a step back, his eyes staring into mun's. "now," he said, his voice quiet, "can you still tell me that you don't have feelings for me?"

mun stared at hyeok, as he felt tears prickling at the edges of his eyes. he couldn't. but he had to.

he said, "yes," but everything about him told hyeok otherwise.

"stop lying"

mun sucked in a deep breath and looked to the ceiling, keeping the tears from falling, though hyeok had already seen them. he wasn't even sure if he was capable of telling hyeok otherwise.

but hyeok seemed to be able to do it for him. "i know how you feel about me. i felt them myself"

mun looked back to hyeok. "what?"

hyeok was quick to respond. "ha-na showed me things. your memories. about me. and i felt them, how you felt about me in those moments. you can't keep lying"

mun couldn't think of what to say. how had ha-na done that? he wanted to feel anger towards her, but he felt... grateful. that ha-na had done for him what he couldn't do.

but even now, he still didn't believe that he could do this. tell hyeok.

"just admit it," hyeok said lightly, looking at mun, who was now looking at the ground.

mun was silent.

"mun, please. just-"

"do you know how hard it is for me to say this!" mun suddenly yelled, finally meeting his eyes with hyeok. his breathing had become quicker.

hyeok couldn't believe mun was still holding back. but he needed to hear it, for this to be over. even if he walked away without mun, he needed everything to be over. he needed mun to stop lying. "just say it!"

mun stayed silent, only for a moment, but in that short moment hyeok prepared himself to feel what little he had left of his heart break away.

but it didn't.

"i like you. and i don't know why, it's killing me," he said.

hyeok found himself smiling. the moment probably wouldn't have caused anybody else to smile, to feel this weird feeling he couldn't understand. 

but he did.