Divagate

Chapter 26

                                    Darwin
•••••
"Good question." Lia hugs her legs tight to her chest. I twist a pretzel between my fingers as I silently observe her. Squeezing her eyes shut and cringing slightly, Lia buries her head in her arms with her face practically against her knees.

"You ok?" I ask.

"Yeah, just thinking." Lia replies, her voice strained and muffled.

"Right." I sigh, unconvinced. I crunch on the pretzel as I close the pretzel bag and place it back into the snack bag. I better do some "thinking" of my own.

Ok, so Lincoln might believe us without evidence, but he and I aren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment.

He's barely said anything to me since... you know. Even when we were in the tent together, all he said was "Lia's still outside" and "Goodnight". As if this whole situation with Siggy couldn't be any worse, my best friend isn't speaking to me.

This is literally taking the knife and twisting it further into my chest, causing me more pain than before.

Lincoln's always been there for me. He was my voice of reason why my thoughts would get out of control at the lab. His calming presence is akin to a cool breeze on a hot summer day.

I mean, he's more like a brother to me.

Siggy and I probably aren't on speaking terms, either. I highly doubt he's even going to want to look at me again.

Holy shit, I've really fucked everything up.

A soft groan from Lia draws me back to reality.

"What's the matter?" There's a short pause followed by a big sigh,

"Cramps." Lia whimpers, laying across the front seats in the fetal position. Oh, right. I forgot she's on her period.

I don't know what to do to help. Back at the lab, when this kind of stuff happened with Marie, it was handled by doctor's assistants.

The most I did was listen when she needed to rant about something or give her a hug when she cried.

Lia doesn't seem like she needs, let alone wants, to rant right now. To my surprise, she's not crying, either. I wish there was more I knew that could help.

Seeing as I'm not going to be rescued by a Myer Labs assistant, my only option is Lia herself. I mean, I do want to be better and this seems like a step in the right direction.

"What can I do?" I ask.

"Umm," Lia exhales. "Any chance you have a heating pad?"

Uh, I'm technically a human heating pad.

Would she even be comfortable touching me after what I've done? Would I even be comfortable touching her? What am I thinking?

We're going to be fine. I'm just helping out a friend. At least, I think we're friends. Maybe "acquaintances" is a better word. I'm just helping out an acquaintance.

"Sorry, I don't." I take a breath, trying to find the right way to phrase this. "Not to sound creepy as fuck but... I could be your heating pad." I cringe at my own words. Slowly, Lia sits up, a skeptical look on her face. "You know, the body temperature thing—"

"Yeah, I get that part. I just don't understand why."

"What do you mean 'why?'" I push myself up a bit straighter.

"Why you'd offer that." Now it's my turn to give a confused look. Thankfully, she picks up on my thoughts and explains,

"Your attitude towards me is very bipolar. One minute you want absolutely nothing to do with me, and the next you're trying to make out. Plus, most of the time that you're being 'nice' or like a friend to me, it's to benefit yourself. Not that friends kiss each other, even though Lincoln did kiss me. That's not the point. I guess what I'm trying to say is do you actually want to help me or are you trying to help yourself?"