𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒔 - m.h

// n i n e //

i silently opened the front door and took a peak inside, the three guys were out and about somewhere—the party. and matty was nowhere to be found on the living room, i assume that matty must also be outside doing the business he mentioned to ross that he was going to do, the reason matty couldn't go to the party. as i walked towards matty's room, i heard two voices inside; a male and a distinct female one. my face turned into a frown, is matty inside? i'm sure if he's here, he's definitely gonna be alone as the three lads had gone off to party, whose voice does the another one belong to?

then doubt and curiosity kicked inside—i immediately turned the knob with no hesitation and did not bother to even knock, all of my thoughts were all right, i dropped my bag on the floor in shock as i witness matty with another girl on his cot—the bed we share, my jaw dropped as matty looked at me with a surprised expression. clearly did not expected me to be here.

"olivia wai—" i did not let him finish his sentence and stormed out of the room—loudly slamming the door shut, the mystery woman ran towards the front door, her shirt unbuttoned, her hair was a mess. she avoided my eye contact and left as if she was not there in the first place, "baby i-i can explain..." matty was clearly nervous, "goddamn matty, you've been saying that for a second time now!" i put my hand on my forehead out of frustration, and yes matty had done this before--and what did i do? forgave him and gave him another chance that he just had wasted right now.

"i-i know, i'm sorry baby please" he knelt down to his knees and held my hand, desperately begging for forgiveness, i couldn't help but tear up, how could he do this to me like it's just easy for him to play with what i feel. "so is this the business you told ross you're gonna do?" i tossed his hand away from me and stepped back--i was holding the liquids back from falling, i did not want him to see me like this, to see how he had hurt me again--i didn't want to look like the fragile one. "olivia n-no--this was just a mistake, i didn't mean to, i was j-just.." there he goes again with those bullshit excuses he has, i'm so fed up but at the same time i know i couldn't let go of him. i don't wanna lose him so all i do is understand matty...and i do that all the time.

the first time he hurted me was when i caught him going out and about with another girl at a local bar, matty didn't knew i had tailed him around—i was suspicious of his frequent agenda, he did not have any job, so what could he be doing that keeps him so occupied and busy? of course, the only answer was girls. the moment i confronted him about it, matty said he was just drunk and stoned, he claimed he did not know what he was doing that time. and what did i do? accepted his excuse even though i caught him right at the moment, and i could tell he was sober and in control with his actions—witnessed everything—but, i forgave him eventually. i couldn't afford to lose him, you know? i was being stupid and so blind.

i knew it was unfair and it seems like i'm giving my all to him who couldn't do the same for me. that's how desperate i am just to let him be near, "matty just fucking stop--i can't listen to your excuses anymore." i started to walk away but matty pulled me back into his arms; locked me inside tightly, not wanting to let me go. "liv, don't do this to me..." his voice broke, i started to sob into his chest and did not replied, he could say that so easily to me and i'd obey him like a fucking twat and but he couldn't do that when it comes to me asking for it. "fuck's sake--i should be the one saying that to you!" i pushed him away--eventually parting away from his body, "i worked my ass off at that damn shitty store for four fucking hours, bared that lame job, encountered rude people, got exhausted and i'm fucking gonna go home and see this shit?" i grasp onto my hair--i was so hurt and angry at the same time, and it was valid as i was the victim here and he was the sinner. "is this how you'll welcome me home?"

"i fund your fucking addiction, i mostly pay the goddamn bills and yet you had the audacity to go and fuck some random girl you met where? at a bar? while i'm working hard to get money so i could give you what you want and need!" matty held my hand, the pain was just too hard to handle. it was eating me up and all i want to do right now was slap him.