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TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 6
9:50am, my tambo after breakfast
I was reading in bed early this morning, enjoying the warm air on my bare skin, when I heard a knock on my door. I put my book beside my pillow and peeled back a corner of the mesh bug net to slither out through the opening. Tying the drawstring of my board shorts, I walked out to see Juliana. She gestured for me to come eat.
I grabbed a T-shirt and my book before walking down the hill through the wet morning grass to the building with the picnic tables. I guessed I was the only one around because the table was set with a complete breakfast, for one.
After pouring a cup of hot tea from the thermos, I started on the plate of scrambled eggs. I saved the best part of my meal for last, the huge bowl of freshly-sliced mangoes and massive grapes. I never knew grapes could be so big, the size of small apples, and the mangoes were as sweet as candy.
From my conversation with Otillia yesterday, I learned tonight will be my first Ayahuasca ceremony. I tried to eat as much as I could at breakfast since it will be my only meal today.
Now I'm back in my tambo and sitting in my hammock, filled with thoughts about last night. Between the animals, the bugs, the rain, the thunder and lightning, and everything in between, it was intimidatingly loud. The ambient noise was the buzz from the insects, and above it were the screeching birds and crackling thunder.
I survived my first night in the jungle and it was an experience I'll never forget, that's for damn sure. Tonight will be my first time drinking Ayahuasca. From what I've learned about this plant, and how it's used, I am ready to meet whatever experience I am given.
I'm ready to live,
I'm ready to die,
I'm ready to see.
I came across a quote in Plato's The Apology, from a dialogue with Socrates explaining that even though he'd been charged and condemned to death, he is not disturbed: "No evil can happen to a good man, neither in life nor after death."
I feel this relates to me now. If I believe I'm a good person, I must believe that no evil can happen to me, either now in life, or later in death—but we will see.
