Chapter 10 - Why Am I Here?

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THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 8

11:48am, laying in my hammock in my tambo


Yesterday morning I woke up and ate breakfast with the three guys who'd come for the ceremony the night before. They left after breakfast and I walked over to the main house to see Otillia. We sat across from each other in rocking chairs and smoked mini-Mapaches together.

I could hear Juliana in the kitchen filling buckets of water from the tank and shuffling back to the sink to where she was washing dishes. Otillia asked me about my experience in the ceremony. I brought my iPhone with me to help us communicate using the offline translation app Jabber. It's not always perfect, but it helped translate the key points I was trying to get across, and her Spanish is clear enough it understood what she said fairly well.

She asked me if I had any visions, but I told her I hadn't. She asked if it was a bueno experience, but I had to be honest and told her it wasn't really. It mostly just hurt, and part of the time I had a raging fever and then I had shaking chills. Both were intense and engulfed me.

She explained it was normal to experience these things. First, the medicine works on the cuerpe (body), and then it works on the Espiritu (soul/spirit). For me to have experienced so much pain meant my body has a lot to heal. She told me she was going to bring me un autra especial plantas medicina the next morning.


Today I was awake, stretched out in my hammock, when I heard Otillia's footsteps swishing through the wet grass. I slid out of my hammock and said hello, and she handed me a small plastic cup. She explained it was the autra especial plantas medicina she had told me about the day before.

I smiled at her and took the cup. I'd slept well and was comfortable with this whole crazy jungle experience, more than before at least, now that the initial shock had worn off a little. I took a large sip from the cup and drained it.

She told me about this medicine last night. It's called Chiri Sanango, and apparently has many benefits. It stimulates the nervous system, muscles, joints and bones and energizes the emotions. It also helps in releasing trauma that has been stored in the body. At least that's what I understood from the translation my phone gave me.

I wanted to know if I was going to trip out, so I asked if there would be visiones with this medicine. She told me there wouldn't be visions, but my jaw may twitch, and my hands and feet might start to tingle like they were asleep.


A few hours later, the effects are exactly like she described them. It feels like I have pins and needles all over my body. My jaw is chattery, like I'm constantly shivering. My mouth and lips are numb, and my hands and feet feel like they were "asleep" and are waking up. Whatever that stuff was made from, the tiny shot of semi-clear jungle-juice has given me an interesting experience, not so much in mind, but in body.

I have been trying to sense what's occurring internally. In my imagination, I see small electrical impulses awakening and exciting my nervous system. It is as though my entire body is getting some sort of natural electro-shock therapy.

It is interesting that something organic can feel so non-natural. It feels electrical. I am trying to focus this electric energy towards refreshing my body on a cellular level.

Each day I am beginning to trust Otillia more and more. As I get to know her better she's also getting to know me more. Even without being able to fully communicate, I trust her sense of stewardship as she looks after me.

Whether sober, or in the middle of the ceremony, or prescribing jungle medicine like the Chiri Sinango, I feel like she understands me and wants to help me. To feel like someone cares as much as she does, it doesn't matter who they are. It is unique and appreciated.

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