SONDER. timothée chalamet

chapter twenty one

[timothée's POV
timothée's POV]

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"biggest fear?" i questioned, "do not have one. i fear nothing."

"that's a lie.." kenny laughs,

"besides losing you. no fear." i says, she begins to shove grapes into my mouth, "hey hey! i could choke!" i laughed,

"then shut up! cause you aren't losing me. and i'm not losing you. simple as that," she grunts, she was clearly upset with the thought of us losing each other.

but we aren't going anywhere. and i mean it.

we sat on a blanket, having a picnic far far away from town.

i bought a car, it took a lot but i did it. i was able to drive kenny from home to school now and back. i made sure she was alright, she was safe. like her mom would want.

i couldn't go to high school anymore, i promise kenny that i graduated but working two different jobs at once was hard and i don't think i'd be able to.

i was a barista in the morning and the rest of the day i was a construction worker. i was stressed out, but coming home to kenny made it all worth it.

kenny bats her eyes near a women, she wore a fancy white hat that was slightly big and a white dress. her blonde short hair reminded me of someone. my step mom and the man besides her, my father. my real father.

i look back at kenny, containing myself. holding my arms tightly, she had never seen my dad before but it didn't take her long to notice the resemblance on both his and my face.

she holds my arm for reassurance and i held onto hers even tighter.
"don't let him get the best of you, he already tried to for years," she mumbled.

i nod, he has. the best thing to do was not react, my emotions would've become violent if it did. the same way his emotions were towards me, violent. 

i kiss kenny again, needed that stability that she was mines. and i shouldn't act a certain way around her. i shouldn't act a way that she wouldn't like.

she smiles, packing everything up so we can leave. i put everything into the car, it was a dodge 2017 i got off a sketchy website,
but hey...it works.

before getting into the car, i hear my father approach me, kenny goes to stand beside me.

"hi son," he says, he looked different, he aged a few but he looked happier. which made me mad. he didn't deserve happiness.

"hi,"

kenny waves as well, not knowing what to say. she watched me mostly, hoping it keep my temper.

"i'm kenny," she takes her hand up, to avoid the silences.

"this is my wife," i say,

"wife?" he looked at the both of us,

"time flew. i know. wish you were there to see it," i lied, i try to contain is laughter and kenny did as well, my father looked at the both of us, his jaw falls to the ground, his wife is far far away, she didn't like me for various reason.

i hated that lady, the worst step mom, i mean that. but i truly hope she wasn't getting hurt from my dad physically, she didn't deserve what my mom went through.

although she knew, my mom tried to warn her. but i guess love has its way.

he shakes his head, "i wish i knew. why didn't you tell me?"

i shrug, "completely forgot. we have a kid on the way as well," i lie even more.

"what!" he gasp,

i felt mean for this, but i loved seeing his shock factor, the regret on his face, the regret of not being there for me. the regret of not being a good dad.

"oh yeah, it's pretty crazy," i crack a smile, "love you dad!" i waved,

"l-l-love you too," he looked like he was going to die from a heart attack, his eyes flares at both me and kenny stomach, although it was all made up. "are you gonna invite me to the baby shower?" he said still clueless,

we drive off, "i'm your wife?" she smiled,

"why'd you say it like it was a question? you are my wife!" i put my hand over her thighs, as i drove with one hand.

i haven't seen my father in years and i wasnt hurt as much as i thought i would've been, maybe it was because kenny was with me.

the feeling of letting go instead of holding on is something she taught me.

we have too many years of living. no more dwelling on someone not worth fighting or fighting for.

"i'm proud of you," she says, "not with the lying. but the way you handled it,"

"i'm trying,"

"if this is trying, i think you already made it," she says with a smile, i smiled as well.

this was the life, truly. just her and i.