Y/n hung upsidedown from the pull-up bar that was bolted to the wall. It was snowing outside and the only person to be crazy enough to walk around without a shirt on and in shorts was Y/n.
The formidable boyfriend of Will Gold or as his online persona he goes by Wilbur Soot.
Y/n was bored out of his mind since he couldn't go outside at the moment and he had read all of the books they owned. There were no shows or movies on Netflix and Wilbur was streaming right now. So he figured he would scroll through TikTok while hanging upside down in shorts and a tank top.
Suddenly, he got a brilliant idea that would possibly end up badly for him. So, to avoid precautions he dropped down onto the floor and used his hands to walk to the balcony. Anyone watching him right now would definitely think he was a mental idiot.
He rolled over to the sliding glass door and threw on Wilbur's jacket. Sliding open the door, he waddled onto the balcony and closed the sliding door.
His breath looked like a cloud in the air as he breathed. Crouching down out of view from the glass, he connected his phone to the Bluetooth speaker in Wilbur's office, better known as their bedroom.
He waited for it to say connected before he pulled up a short clip of the song he wanted to play.
'Yo' dick brick-hard like a medal (uh)
I got three holes for it like a pretzel (mhm)
Tight as a virgin boy don't get nervous (tight)
I'm here to serve you customer service (right)
I save dick by giving it CPR
(I save dick by giving it CPR, yes)
Put my mouth on it like CPR
(Let's make porn and watch it on VCR)'
He laughed when he heard it booming through their apartment. The best part was, that he was best friends with the girl who lived below them, so he could get away with this without a noise complaint.
He had his camera recording, snickering as he heard Wilbur's pounding footsteps coming to try and snatch his phone from him. What made matters even better was the fact that Y/n had hidden the speaker somewhere in the room so he wouldn't be able to find it.
Anything goes when you up in my holeDirty panties from the sex, yeah, I got me some loads
Listen, I'm the most explicit
Long stick inside my river but we not going fishingKnow what to do every time you have a horrible day
I'll eat that sausage all day like it's Memorial Day
I'm talking BBQ sauce and mustard on it
And the mayonnaise comes when you bust right on itName anything freaky and you know I'm 'bout that shitOnly time I'm not on the dick is when I'm 'bout to shit Pubic hairs all in my mouth, not again
So when I suck yo' dick now, I use bobby pins
Y/n sat crossed cross in the snow, his curly hair blew from the bitter wind as he watched Wilbur search for him, his streaming camera in hand. It made Y/n wonder how embarrassed Wilbur was, considering how red Wilbur's neck was, he assumed the worst. However, all thoughts went off the balcony when the next part of the song came on.
Who need a gym when you got dick to work you out?
I want my face to lose weight so stroke my mouth
And any time my pussy wanna be hairy like Harry Potter
Becky with the good hair is what you could call her
Let's get itA little faster
A little more
Right there
Give it to me now
(Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh)
He couldn't hold it in anymore, Y/n burst out laughing. The melodic sound alerted Wilbur and told him exactly where he was. Wilbur pushed open the sliding door and tried to snatch Y/n's phone out of his hands. But one step into the snow on the balcony with his barefoot and he leaped back inside.
Y/n smiled cheekily and stuck his tongue out.
"Chat, he's got like a barrier around him! This isn't fair!" Y/n shrugged and belted out the words at the top of his lungs, "I SAVE DICK BY GIVING CPR! LET'S MAKE PORN AND -yerp!" Wilbur stepped reached out and pulled the hoo over Y/n's face so that he couldn't talk anymore. "Brat, you're going to get us evicted."
"BrAt, YouR GoINg tO geT uS EvICted."
"Phil, he's mocking me now. And I can't even touch him because he's- Are you where shorts and a tank top right now? In the snow?" Y/n laughed and flopped onto his back. Wilbur gave him a dead stare and went back inside. When Y/n thought it was safe to go back inside, he did so and slithered back in like the sneaky snake he was.
Just not sneaky enough.
YOU ARE READING
Dsmp x reader Oneshots
FanfictionSorry people, on a rare occasion, I do write a female Y/n, but there aren't enough male Y/n's. There is the occasional genderless reader in here though. So let's do a Male/genderless reader x MCYT. Update July 21, 11:18 p.m. ~ Imma start doing femal...
