Room 520's Secret

29. Throbbing question

"If you're going to be sad, you might as well be sad in Paris." - Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl

Song: Chasing Pavements by Adele

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"Where are you headed?"

"The library," I reply to Lisa as I pack my notebook into my backpack. It was two days since the Helix fiasco. 

"Not you too," she says looking horrified.

"Me too?" I ask confused.

"Helix has been holed up in the library for the past two days," she says surprising me.

"Mimi has been losing her mind with worry. She tried to get him to leave, but he flipped on her. No, to be specific he flipped on all of us who approached him," she says sounding offended.

"Woah," I exclaim.

"Exactly, Naz said to just let him be and he'd come by. However, surely, you're not joining the club of midlife crisis, are you? Cos one helix is enough, I can't do two," she asks looking appalled. I chuckle and shake my head. "No, you're good," I say to which she lets out a breath of relief.

"You should see him, it's scary," she says with a look of horror.

"Why?" I ask intrigued.

"Helix has a really good memory, so though he studies, it's never been that intense," she explains.

"Could it be because of the cheating situation?" I ask, she pauses in thought and shakes her head.

"I don't think so. Helix has never been bothered by people's opinion of him on his sexual life, why would he be about an untruth?" she says.

Because his sex life stories are real. His being a cheat isn't, I think to myself. "Anyway, have fun, just don't get possessed by the spirit of the library," she says shuddering and walking back into her room causing me to grin.

Walking into the second floor of the library, I head towards the study room I had booked and pause. Tucked in a study room with a sprawl of books on the table and an open laptop was Helix. He seemed focused on whatever he was working on going from one book to another. He looked, quite rough, yet sexy. I shake my head. Get it together Hestia.

How could anyone see him tucked here studying and still think he was a cheat? It was two days and the discussion had not died down. It had simply been amplified. He was scheduled to have a disciplinary meeting next week on Monday.

Was this his way of showing he did study or was he putting on a show... I pause. What makes you different from them Hestia? If even your mind went to the thought that maybe, he is just pretending to gain good points then wouldn't others think the same?

Helix must realize that, yet here he was studying. Meaning he either didn't care that this would only increase the gossip, or he needed to resolve the discomfort he felt thereby creating a conflict between his thoughts and behavior. Was this cognitive dissonance? Due to his strong urge to resolve the situation, he is trying to do something about it by studying. Not to prove himself to others, but to himself?

There was only one way to find out for sure. Walking over, I push open the door and step in.

"Hey Helix," I say, but he doesn't look up. Was he that engrossed?

"Helix," I call again, this time louder getting his attention.

"What are you doing here?" he asks looking confused, but not angry. Good, I was forgot there for a second Lisa said he flipped on everyone that tried stepping in. I was glad so far; it didn't seem like he would flip on me. At least I hoped he wouldn't.

"I should be asking you that, what are you doing here?" I ask smiling.

"Is your vision on vacation?" He asks sharply, eyes shooting daggers. Deep breaths Hestia, don't let this push you away. You were already given a fair warning. Fine, let's try something else.

"Adam," I say my eyes refusing to back down by the power of his cold eyes seemingly determined to push me away. After a while, his eyes contract and the cold elegance is replaced by a gentle beauty. As if awoken from a bad dream.

I stand still stunned. I've read about eyes that sparkled, but it was the first time to see eyes that truly seemed to sparkle. I was momentarily bewitched as we stare at each other. After a while his eyes break contact with mine, releasing me from the bewitchment.

"My apologies," he says and lets out a heavy breath.

"Are you still bothered by what those girls said?" I ask.

"What girls?" He asks looking nonchalant. I couldn't tell if he was feigning ignorance, or he really didn't care. But if he didn't care, why was he holed up here for two days.

"Then why are you here?" I ask

"I have an architecture project due in a few days," he says and pushes the laptop over to me. I walk over and take a seat grabbing the laptop, I look at the screen. On it was a blueprint, next to it was a gorgeous picture of stone sculptures that draws my attention instead.

"Wow," I say. "What's that?" I ask turning the laptop slightly so he can view it and pointing at the sculptures.

"Nothing important," he says and moves to close the page, but I place my hands over his stopping him. Proceeding to read the words beneath the picture.

He always called her 'Sweet Sixteen' whenever he mentioned her name,

Someday she would return to him when his labor of love gained fame!

He would build a show place for her then she would realize her mistake

She'd leave her simple peasant life and this Castle a home they'd make.

– Mary N. Yandell, The Mystery of Coral Castle.

"That's beautiful," I say touched by the poem. To which Helix gives me an incredulous look. "What's beautiful about that?" He asks.

"His love for her? He loves her so much that he is building a place for her in hopes of one day making it their home. It's sweet don't you think so?" I ask beaming.

"More like stupid," Helix says pulling his hands back and moving his mouse to click on the X at the far right. I glance down at my hands realizing I had initiated contact with him without reserve. I shake off the thought and focus on his words.

"What's stupid about that?" I ask confused.

"Well for starters the fact that she never asked for the home?" He replies.

"I'm not following," I reply confused.

"You do realize he said he would build a place for her, then she would realize her mistake?" he asks giving me an incredulous look. "For starters what makes him think she'd want to come back even if he built ten houses?" He asks his voice sounding deeply laced with hatred. Due to a poem?

"Two, how delusional is he to think she made a mistake instead of him? Just because he thinks she made one doesn't mean she did or agrees with his thinking. Neither does it mean she'd accept his offer of a home," he says his voice getting deeper and colder.

"Also, he said she'd leave her simple peasant life and they'd make the castle a home," He chuckles in what sounded like mockery. "First, he insults her by calling her a peasant and then he expects her to embrace him because he built her a castle she never asked for. If that's not stupidity, I don't know what is,"

"Fair point," I say thoroughly floored to hear this perspective from him. I'd never have expected it or believed this was a part of him, but for this conversation. Yet, the deep spite in his voice unsettled me. What was this about? Whatever it was I seemed to be losing him to that hatred and therefore needed to momentarily distract him.

"I don't get it," I say.

"What don't you get?" He asks looking confused. The anger was not in his voice, and his eyes no longer seemed far away. I break into a smile, a mechanism to relax him.

"You seem to be for women's right, yet you're involved with multiple partners,"

***

She just had to go there didn't she? lol

-A