You are Darkness

Chapter 14 - Naked

Every little sound made Hisoka jump in anticipation, but none of them was the knock on the door he was expecting. He checked his phone again, Illumi's last text blinking back at him as some sort of evil mockery. 'I'll be there at 9,' it said. But that hour was long gone, and Hisoka was starting to worry. That in itself was strange. Illumi was a force of nature, an impeccable assassin, maybe even stronger than him. There was no reason to worry. Right?

The night when Kalluto had reached out to him with that tiny voice of him drenched in pain had been almost a year ago. Illumi had scarcely kept in touch, trying to avoid his parent's scrutiny, slowly gaining back their trust. It's not like he had the chance to go to therapy or indulge in some healthy coping mechanism as annoyingly normal people can do, but Hisoka trusted him when he told him he was better. He had no choice but to trust. A bittersweet leap of faith mixed with hope was all he had left along with his worries.

The loneliness had been so real it became tangible along the line. Hisoka had gotten used to the company, and the ever-present texts and calls he shared with his Zoldyck. Feeding a beggar to let him starve again had proven crueler than just letting him be hungry. He knew how to be lonely, and, begrudgingly, his body and mind eventually remembered the drill.

Get busy, and stay that way. Take care of yourself, inside and out. Food, water, shower, grooming. Each step is as vital as the next. Hisoka knew how to manage his heartache. The most important item on the mental list was the last one: have fun. And so he did. He fought. He took weird and complicated jobs for blacklist hunters no one else wanted to handle. He let the warmth of some poor bastard's blood on his hands wash away the cold. He even managed to assist in some less than savory ordeals about the Dark Continent and the horrible infestation issue that had risen there.

Hisoka would have given his right arm just so he could have Illumi tagging along as he indulged in the carnage. The assassin looked so beautiful in the bliss of the aftermath where his barriers went down and he could enjoy himself, even if it was through murder. But fate hadn't been so merciful as to grant him a companion for his endeavor. So what if he assisted Killua and Gon along the way? It's not like Illumi was the Zoldycks' pliant killing machine he was before. And if Gotoh had to lose his head in the process, then so be it. That's what he gets for taking part in the torture of his loved one. Hisoka wasn't one to regret his actions, especially when they involved revenge. If he could've taken Silva's head instead, he would have done so.

The only problem was that after all that time, the memories of sharing a floor with Illumi seemed distant. The date, the kiss. Everything was tainted by tragedy in a way. Hisoka had gotten the text asking him to meet in this city, the first job away from home where Illumi will be unsupervised. He was even allowed to return later if he wanted to. Hisoka knew better than to waste a once-in-a-lifetime Zoldyck booty call. That thought made him stop in his tracks as he paced behind the door.

That was not the intention behind Illumi's words. It couldn't be. Hisoka re-read their conversation one more time for good measure.

A date and some coordinates. 'Can you meet me there?' and then simply. 'Book us a room, I'll be there.'

Always a cryptic bastard.

That was all Hisoka needed to drop everything he was doing and effectively do as he was asked though. He snorted at the thought. Pathetic and clingy, but in love, still very much so.

A knock on the door reached his ears and his stomach dropped to the floor. He walked towards the sound, losing one of the sassy lines he'd carefully planned with every step. "Who is it?" He asked, just like that time at the arena. Only this time, he knew who was standing on the other side.

"Illumi Zoldyck," came the answer still.

An invisible hand gripped Hisoka's throat. Without saying a word he let his hand move to the handle. The wooden door opened like a fan slowly revealing the person standing behind it.