𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦 ; 𝑜.𝑜.𝓅

twenty-seven

Althena stayed out late after everyone left. Margot, Romare, and Maxwell were all staying in an upscale luxury hotel not far from Headquarters. 

It was nearing 3 in the morning when Althena was back. She was expecting nobody to be downstairs, but she was quickly proven wrong. 

She walked back into the room where everyone was gathered hours prior, finding Sirius sitting by the fire lost in thought. 

"You should be sleeping, Sirius." She said softly. 

He suddenly looked at her, sighing in relief when it was her, "It's hard to sleep knowing what's going on out there and up there." He said, nodding upstairs where Aurora was sleeping. 

She slowly took a seat in the chair on the other side of the coffee table that was separating her and Sirius. Her cold skin quickly became warmed by the fire, "I feel like I'm not doing enough for Aurora. You were right about me not being a great father."

"I didn't say those specific words, Sirius. And you should know I didn't really mean it, it's just–"

"I hurt you." He cut in, "I haven't forgotten. I just..."

"You feel guilty. So do I." Althena said quietly, her eyes glued to the fire. The two went quiet, the only sound able to be heard was the crackling fire and the soft tick of the clock on the wall. Althena continued to look at the fire as more words slipped from her mouth, "I'm still in love with you, Sirius." 

His head snapped to her, "What?"'

"Thought I should tell you now before something inevitably happens. I know I'd regret it if I never told you... I have enough regrets in my life and I really don't need any more." She shakily said. When she was met with the aching silence, Althena stood up and walked to a large portrait on the wall of a random Renaissance painting that she couldn't quite place, "I don't expect you to say it back because I know you don't love me."

"I do love you, Althena."

She clutched the charm on her thin gold necklace, "Don't say it just because I did and you feel bad."

"But I do."

She turned to Sirius with sad eyes. When she saw the look on his face, she knew that was not a look of deceit, "But not in the way that I do."

He slowly nodded, "I love you more than a friend. I love you in the way when one sees their lover after years, it feels like nothing has changed. But you know everything has, and you cannot go back. So the best you can do is carry on, and hold them in your heart."

Althena swallowed the rising lump in her throat, "You've always been an enigma to me, Sirius. Some days I felt like I was the only girl in the world to you, and the next I felt like I was just a shag to pass the time."

Sirius stood up, but kept his distance from her, "You know me in ways no one else quite does. Diana was the one for me, I'll always be certain of that. But you... I can't quite explain."

Althena scoffed lightly and closed her eyes with a soft shake of her head. She looked back to the painting as tears fell from her eyes. She didn't bother to hide her emotion, taking a sharp intake of breath, "I feel like... I've wasted my life dwelling on you, Sirius. Even when you were in Azkaban, it felt as if you were beside me haunting me. For the longest time I would find a cliff and scream out 'give me a reason,' to whoever is listening. And I feel so foolish that every time I look at you, I feel like I'm 16 again."

He made his way across the room to her and softly took her hand, looking down at her intently, "I want you in my life, Althena. I love and care for you, I don't expect things to ever be quite as they were between us, but I think we can build something different, something better. I think we're both aching for the same things in different ways. I'll stay by your side, I hope you know that."

He cupped her cheek and placed a soft kiss on her forehead before bringing her in for a long, overdue hug. 

And it was in that moment, that Althena finally felt like she found closure.