A Real Fucking Vampire (FGO x Abridged Alucard)

The End To the Singularity

"good morning" - speaking

'im hungry' - thinking

*sneezes* - action

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POV Gudao

Alucard: "WALTER! How you doing, buddy? You look moisturized, you get some work done?"

Walter: "I have been seeing a doctor, and he's administered a rather unorthodox treatment"

Alucard: "Shot in the dark was it vampire DNA?"

Walter: "It was a spa day, a deep tissue massage and a face mask with some help of a holy grail."

Alucard: "Holy shit, how do you get one of those."

Walter: "Ah you y'know Nazis found it in their attic, so they told me I can use it to kill you."

Merlin: "Looks like we found our culprit."

Integra: "Walter."

Walter: "Ma'am."

Integra: "I'm saying this out of courtesy. If you've betrayed us. I will personally mount your head over a urinal in our men's room."

Jalter: "She's kidding right?"

Seras: "That explains the third floor restrooms! Which are now currently in the first floor restrooms."

Artoria: "Apparently, she wasn't kidding."

Alucard: "Now, now now. Before we start throwing around words like "betrayal" or "cucked"." 

Mash: *sweat drop* "I don't think anyone said that last part."

Alucard: "Lets let Walter explain himself."

Walter: "I'm betraying you."

Alucard: "Aw, you cuck!"

Gudao: "Who could've seen that coming."

Integra: "You treasonous little dish-washer! after all these years, you're stabbing me in the back! And for what."

Walter: "I'm just doing my job, ma'am. What you fail to understand is that I'm a butler second, and a vampire hunter first."

-Small Timeskip-

Alucard starts bowing down to Integra

Alucard: "Integra. I want to hear you say. I. NEED. To hear it.

Integra pulls out a cigar and a lighter and begins to light it.

Merlin: *whispers* "This is needlessly dramatic."

After Integra takes the cigar out of her mouth she breaks it in half. 

Integra: "FUCK HIM IN THE VAGINA!"

Alucard: "HEHE-HAH-HAH-HAH HAHA!!"

Artoria: "Was that really necessary?"

We then hear a speaker which was someone talking in a really stereotypical German accent. I look around to see a blimp come down somewhat crashing into the ground behind us. The door lifts up and ramps begin to descend down close to us, I see a catboy?

???: "Come ladies and gentlemen, Let's let them have zheir fun."

'Are we really going into a Nazi blimp without a plan?" I begin to sweat drop a little

Integra: "Come on everyone."

We begin to follow Integra into the blimp while Seras starts speaking to Alucard. After she was done talking to him she runs back to us going up the ramp up into the blimp. When we arrive to the entrance I see the catboy again.