A Real Fucking Vampire (FGO x Abridged Alucard)

Meeting New People P2

POV Alucard

Mordred: "You met God?!"

Alucard: "Yeah like I said, the guy is a real asshole."

Gareth: "Wow! What's he like?"

Alucard: "The typical 'I forgive you' blah blah blah. A real hypocrite if you ask me, says he has a plan for everyone but what about the people who were born to starve? I call bullshit! Slavery existed, was that also a part of his plan? Why is it part of his plan to have that to exist? Because he's just a asshole who doesn't care at all!"

Artoria: "Wait but you also said you added Satan to the 'call'."

Alucard: "Oh Satan? Don't really got an opinion on the dude. He's more or less chill but at least he does a job in hell and isn't a massive hypocrite like that so called God. I would call him more like a business partner."

(L) Artoria: "That's certainly weird."

Alucard: "Anyways we're getting side tracked here. Mordred how did it feel?"

Mordred: "Fucking amazing! But to be honest I want something bigger."

Alucard: *snaps fingers and points* "Canon, bitches love canons."

???: "DID SOMEONE SAY CANON?!"

I turn to see a man that's very built with brown hair and a blue eyes, and a little patch of brown hair on his chin.

Mordred: "Oh hey Napoleon."

Napoleon: "Hey Mordred and the rest of the knights! I heard someone talking about canons!"

Alucard: "We were just talking about if Mordred would like a canon."

Napoleon: "Awesome! But I must ask why are you both even talking about canons?"

At this point me, Mordred, and Napoleon were in our own world about canons. The round table seeing this just went back to their table to talk about whatever.

Alucard: "I asked if Gareth wanted to use my sick ass pistol but she couldn't due to that purple fuck saying she couldn't. Mordred then wanted to try and since we're too lazy to leave and go to the training room, I proposed she uses me as a target."

Napoleon: "Can I see the pistol?"

Mordred: "Sure, here."

Mordred hands over my pistol to Napoleon. Then starts checking it out, looking very interested about the gun."

Napoleon: "It is indeed a cool gun, but I still prefer my canon over it."

Alucard: "If you ask me its practically like a mini canon, bu-"

Napoleon then suddenly raises my fucking pistol and SHOOTS ME! 'THIS STILL HURTS LIKE A BITCH!' quickly regenerating like the left side of my torso, Mordred was laughing from the sudden action. I give a quick glare at her as she shuts up and looks away whistling.

Napoleon: "This is like a mini canon!"

Alucard: "GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! STILL HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER!"

Mordred then snickers a bit trying to hold back to laughing.

Alucard: "What are you a sadist?! Why are you laughing so much?!"

Mordred just lets it out after hearing the first sentence. She is definitely a person I could get along with.

Mordred: *sigh* "You ain't that bad Alucard. Just maybe a bit of a idiot."