TRIALS

CHAPTER 29

hindi rin ganon ka kulay ang mga ngiti niya. namumula din at parang namumugto ang mga mata niya

hindi ba siya masaya na makita ako? bakit parang he didn't appreciate my presence.

"did you not miss me?" i ask then he about to hug me when someone voice interrupted us.

"love sino siya" halos maguho naman ang mundo ko when a girl with a long hair hold his arms.

hindi ko maikakaila na maganda ang babae, nakasuot siya nang formal white that's why her beauty enlighten.

i want to compliment her but i think i don't need to.

tama ba ang narinig ko love?

tumingin naman ulit ako kay greg a tears form in my eyes.

"who are you" i manage to ask while i still holding my tears.

"me" tumingin naman saakin yung babae while she's still holding greg's shoulder while she's pointing out herself para tanungin ako

"yes you" i said without expression habang nakatitig ako sa mga mata niya.

"his fiance" she answer then i can't help but my tears fall, tumingin naman ulit ako kay greg

nagsimula nang tumulo ang mga luha niya.

"i'm sorry" he mouthed but i didn't gave her a attention instead i ran away while my tears keep falling.

narinig ko naman na parang sumunod siya kaya mas binilisan ko naman ang takbo ko.

ng palabas naman ako nakaramdam naman ako ng patak ng mga ulan pero hindi ko na ininda yon dahil nagmamadali akong lumabas ng bahay nila

i was about to enter in my car when he grab me that make me stop.

gusto ko siyang saktan sampalin tadyakan! pero di ko magawa

what's wrong with me.

gusto kong iparamdam lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon, i want him to suffer the way i suffer while i was fighting for him.

namumungay ang mga mata niya at kahit naka blazer siya pansin ko parin ang pagbawas ng timbang niya.

"i'm sorry" he said then he cry.

"is that all you can say greg? sorry? pagkatapos ko malaman na your engage na pala" i shout then push him but he hug me.

"promise i did everything" he said. i sarcastically scoff

"you did everything?! fuck you greg. hindi mo nga pinaalam saakin to eh, you let me to find out this bullshit thing" i sarcastically gasped.

"so kung hindi ko pala naisipan pumunta dito hindi ko malalaman?" i ask, he hug me so tight.

"i did this because i don't want to hurt you" sabay naman ng pagtulak ko sabay naman ng pagbuhos ng malakas na ulan.

wala akong pakielam kung basang basa na ako dahil sa bawat pagpatak ng ulan sa katawan ko, sabay din ng pagpatak ng mga luha ko at panghihina ng katawan ko.

"ito greg sa tingin mo hindi ako nasasaktan?! i fucking waited you. i fight for you. your the reason why still fighting for 2yrs over that fucking leukemia" i shout

"you can't understand me irene, listen to me first" he hold my hand. hindi ko alam pero kusang bumagsak ang katawan ko.

i'm now kneeling infront of him

"how can i understand you after this? ikakasal ka na" i said then he hug me and help me to stood up.

"trust me first irene just trust me" he said i slap him.

"tell me how! you want me to trust you again after this? hibang ka ba greg? i can't trust you anymore" i said then unclasped our body.

"i'm so stupid to love you greg, i'm so fucking stupid to think that we can be together" everywords na lumalabas sa bibig ko ay kasabay non ang pagdurog ng puso ko.

kasabay non ang panlulumo ko.

natanggal lahat ng expectations ko sakanya lahat ng paghanga ay parang unti unting nawawala.

"ang galing mo, napaniwala mo ako na mahal mo ako. napaniwala mo ako na kaya mo ko hintayin. kase ako greg hinintay kita kasabay non ang pakikipaglaban ko sa sakit ko para sayo. kasabay nun lahat ng tusok na nakukuha ko araw araw para lang lumakas ang sistema ko, kasabay nun ang mga tanong na nabubuo sa utak ko na kahit isang beses manlang di mo ko dinalaw? hindi mo ko naisipan tanungin" puno ng panghihinayang at pangdadalamhati ang nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"bumalik ako greg dahil akala ko may babalikan pa ako, i though 2yrs is enough to understand me. dahil ikaw ang nagsabi nito diba? nangako ka saakin" my eyes are blurry already sa mga luha kong patuloy parin sa paguunahan.

"i tried irene, i make this clear just trust me and listen to me. hindi ko to ginusto" he said. i slap him

"your really a liar. madaming oras greg maraming araw para gawin yan maraming linggo ang nasayang greg para baguhin ang lahat pero never mong pinigilan kung ayaw mo talaga pero dahil di mo pinigilan ibig sabihin" i stop then look at his eyes and sarcastically gasped.

"ginusto mo, at gusto mo" i shout then about to jumped in again when he stop me.

"please irene listen to me first" he beg.

"shin please" i smile when i hear that after two years he call me shin again.

"you said to me that shin is sunshine and sunset right" i ask. he nood while his tears keep flowing.

"your really good at planning, no wonder you plan everything." i stop then wipe my tears kahit patuloy ang pagbagsak ng ulan i manage to pulled up myself kahit nanghihina na ako.

"the sunset signifies the end and the sunshine signifies shine. but even there's a shine beetwen us it's doesn't mean after this i can forgive and let myself to shine because of you dahil sa totoo lang greg" i deeply breathe.

"your the other half of me, your the reason why i'm here but you also the reason why i'm now wishing that i wish i was dead." i said then open my car and let myself in and start the car and leave without looking at him again.