TRIALS

YOU

days had passed and this morning is the day that i need to meet cassandra. greg's wife in intramuros.

i really don't know how to feel. tutuloy pa ba ako? kase baka pag tumuloy ako i'm the one who get hurt.

after all i'm the one who can't move on after freaking so much damn years.

well the fact that i can't forget everything about them.

i open the curtains and let the sunset come inside of my room. the light that i want. the light that make me calm.

but how can i calm right now if my light are turning into the darkness again?

a knock make me shook, at first i didn't bother but after some severals knock i decided to open the door. magagalit sana ako when the PSG handed me a letter again.

i open it immediately because of curiosity.

please irene. i expecting you to came here. you need all of this. WEE NEED THIS

-cassandra

i frowned my forehead. i can't understand her. bakit siya bakit hindi nalang si greg?

but i'm still afraid to face them i don't know what to say. i don't know how to react

i walk to my vanity and look at myself in the mirror.

"why didn't you try? you are IRENE MARCOS and you are afraid!! just because you can't face them. are you freaking lazy, FACE THEM" i tried to concentrate myself that i'm freaking MARCOS. i need to face all the burdens that i need to settle.

a big sighed came out from me before i go to my bathroom and shower myself and after that i wore a simple white polo and a red pants. wide leg pants and my favourite necklace my circular circle necklace.

i put some light make up. hindi ganon kakapal dahil ayoko namang ipamukha sakanya na kaya ko siyang kabugin. well i can do that.

but i'm not like that.

after some minute's i'm finally done.
i check the time it's 7:12 already that's why i grab my bag and wore my black stiletto.

pagkababa ko naman as i expected walang sumalubong saakin. dahil wala ngayon ang mommy at daddy because they have a meeting in DOH

kua diver was about to ask me a question when i stop him using my finger.

"you don't have to kua, i can do it for myself" i said then hopped in inside of the car.

they open the gate for me.

i start my engine and left out.

hindi rin nagtagal ang biyahe dahil di rin naman traffic. i jumped outside of the car and start walking around intramuros.

it's 7:22 already.

sa oras na hindi ko siya makita on time. i will leave here. i swear i don't want to waste my time to kept waiting for her.

after some walking around i got tired that's why i decided to sat myself here in bench. i check my watch it's 7:24 already and there's 9 seconds left

"5" i start counting.

"4"

"3" i rolled my eyes to find her.

"2"

then i was about to say one when someone's grab my shoulder.

as i expected it's cassandra she's seating beside me already.

"your here." i said and panely smile.

"i'm on time" she said then smile also.

"i guess i'm here to know the truth, what was that?" i ask

"did you mind if i invite you to my coffee shop for a while?" she said i just smile and simply chuckle before i answer.

"uhmp. no need i'm still full pa thats why i guess tell me the truth so that i can leave already na" i panely smile.

avoiding to make it awkward to the both of us.

she hold my hand.

"let's go to cemetery?" she ask i frowned my head. gosh nababaliw na ba to? akala ko ba may sasabihin siya? eh bakit kung saan saan niya pa ako inaaya.

"i'm sorry mrs. araneta but can you please tell me the truth right away than you inviting me anywhere? because this giving me a awkward feeling i'm here because you send me a letter that you have to say something on me. well sorry mrs. araneta to offend you by my words but i want you to know that i'm trying to be nice to you. i'm trying to be polite for you but that doesn't mean i want to talk to you for a hours. did you even see that i'm trying to forget all of you? that's why i left kaya pwede ba don't ever try to be nice to me because that was underrated" i said then stood up and about to left her with a speechless feeling when she grab my hand.

i see some lonely tears came out from her eyes.

what's wrong with her.

"mrs. araneta can you please let me to leave? i'm here to listen on you but i'm not here to be your friend there's nothing reason to be your friend i know you being greg's wife and that's it. i respect you, i respect your relationship kaya pwede ba if you have a problem pwede ba wag mo kong idamay? hindi ka pa ba na masaya na kasama mo na si greg? while your  both creating your future i'm here living again with my past" i don't know what i'm coming from pero gusto kong ipamukha sakanya ngayon na swerte pa siya sa lagay na yan.

tinanggal ko naman ang kamay niyang nakahawak saakin and then tumalikod na ako sakanya.

and about to walk when she finally spoke.

"you wanna know the truth right? that's why your here" she said. i still hear her sobs. di parin ako lumilingon sakanya.

"if you think that i'm lucky because i have greg your not right. dahil kung ikaw umalis. si greg din umalis" napakunot naman ang noo ko when she said that. i slowly look at her.

"what do you mean?" i ask. she wipe her tears.

"he's dead." she said na nagpabilis naman ng kabog sa puso ko.

nanghihina ang tuhod ko!

"no" i said then shooked my head.

"your a liar" i hissed before i about to leave when she grab me.

"did you even hear me irene! HE'S ALREADY DEAD" sigaw niya naman habang paunti unti naman siyang lumalapit saakin.

my eyes become blurry and i expect that any moment i wanna fall here and i'm right naramdaman ko naman ang katawan kong bumagsak and i close my eyes.