Two Different Worlds (Re-Write) - A Hermitcraft Mermaid AU

Chapter 12 - Mutual Feelings

TW: Mention of blood, nightmares

Push it away

Ignore it

Don't let it out

You'll only end up like him

They'll hurt you

They can't know

He died because he couldn't hide it

You'll be the same

You failed him

Don't fail yourself

They can't know

They can't know

They can't-

Hels sat up in a cold sweat, holding back his scream in the last second. He didn't want to draw more attention to himself than he already had that night, especially seeing as he'd be asked to talk about his nightmare.

He was used to it by now, or at least he'd like to think that. Tonight was worse, considering how frequently Wels had been on his mind, but that wasn't any exception. He'd kept all of this to himself for the last 16 years, so he could do it again this time.

Ironically enough, he ended up sitting on the dock and staring at the water. It's the worst place to be for someone who wants to avoid the ocean, but it made him feel just a little closer to Wels. It always did.

Sometimes it was scary trying to keep such big secrets from his friends. Sure, it seemed as simple as just staying... well... human, but there was more to it too. He knew he could save Grian when their friend almost drowned. He had been ready to throw all this secrecy and pain out the window just to try and rescue him.

To be honest, no horrible thing the others could do to him would be worse than the pain of knowing he'd failed Gri too.

And then there were times he wondered if his friends might actually accept him. Grian didn't have any problem being friends with a half-merman, so why should it be any different for Hels? Although, maybe they'd be mad at Grian too. And mad at him for lying to them for so many years.

Hels didn't like to think that they'd still love him if he told them. It would only set him up for more pain and disappointment if he did, and the agony of pushing a literal part of who he was away would have been for nothing.

Heck, even trying to ignore that part of himself hurt. Trying to pretend he was normal, hiding the thing that got Wels killed... it was worse than he'd imagined it would be. It wasn't hard, but it was painful.

He'd thought it was bad enough at first, being trapped between two sides that hated each other. It would have been worse had he not had Wels, but trying to pass as a normal merman and completely ignoring the human half was almost as bad.

Maybe that's why this hurt more. Not having Wels. Not having someone like him who he could relate to and understand. Not having the one person who got him through all the hard times. Sure, he had his human friends... but it wasn't the same.

A quiet splash from nearby dragged Hels out of his thoughts, and he glanced up to see a pair of bright green eyes watching him from behind a rock. The person's eyes widened when they realised he'd see them, and they quickly ducked back down again.