Risk It All (Chishiya X You)

Grieving

"I'm sorry" It was the only thing Chishiya had said to you as he placed you into your bed and left the room. It had been two days since then.

You hadn't gotten out of bed, eaten, moved, seen anyone or even spoken. You felt numb, breathing even seemed to be a difficult task. You had grown to despise the sun, it rose every day and disappeared every night. Nothing changed for the sun despite all the games and the deaths. In a way you envied it.

Your mind was filled with nothing but the screams of the players you had left so callously to die. Hanas's small voice had repeated thousands of times in the past two days, the terror on everyone's faces was burned into your eyes.

It was a memory you couldn't forget.

You jumped when the door to your hotel room
opened, you didn't turn to see who it was and if you were truly honest you didn't care. You didn't care about anything, you would gladly lay here until your Visa expired, the moment you became a monster by saving people who didn't deserve was the moment life was worth nothing.

"You're still in bed" You froze slightly as you heard chishiyas voice.

You didn't reply as you heard him close the door. You felt his footsteps vibrate the floor until he appeared in front of you, blocking your site from the window. The sun had begun to disappear as the dark night came over the skies.

"You have to get up." He sighed sitting down next to you. You let out a groan and moved back so your body was further away from him.

He takes a deep breath before he stands up and pulls the covers off of your body

"You can waste your time here feeling sorry for yourself or you can get up and make those deaths count." You try to hide from him but you know he is right.

He always has to be right. You slowly pull yourself out of bed and onto the chair in the corner. You didn't want to live but you would be even worse if you let everyone's death mean nothing by giving up.

You knew the only way to continue was to live for them, not you, them.

"Shower. You don't smell good" Chishiya mumbled pointing towards the door.

You shot him a glaring look as he threw a towel at you. Nevertheless, you placed the towel over your shoulder as you walked towards the wardrobe. You pulled out some shorts and a bikini top along with a blue jacket to cover yourself.

The water washed over you and you allowed yourself to cry. You hadn't cried since the night Chishiya carried you back to your room after the game. The water carried your tears away as you washed yourself.

You noticed your lip had grown a little scar from when Niragi kicked you off of your chair. It didn't help that the people you saved didn't deserve it, you chose the ones who would lead you to survival. As much as you hated Chishiya you understood him more.  You understood the way he thought and how it could be helpful to be able to lock emotions like that away, you were sure if you could you would have done that on your own. Being consumed by guilt was a lonely feeling.

You heard Chishiya walking around as you turned the water off and began dressing yourself before brushing your teeth.

It felt good to be clean and the crying helped but it wouldn't be a lie if you said you couldn't look at yourself in the mirror.

When you walked back into the room you noticed that the sheets had been changed. You look towards Chishiya who had sat at the desk and give him a nod.

He cleared his throat and you looked over at him "Can I ask you something?"

You nod your head as you sit on the bed, careful not to ruin the way Chishiya had set the bed.

"Why did you save me.?" His voice was blunt and you looked over at him.