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TEN. my longing waits to kill me
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Bellamy Blake was not an easy person to read. He lived his whole life for his sister. Having an illegal sibling meant he did everything to protect her even if it meant losing his life. A lost childhood, damaged and ripped apart. He had been unhappy for as long as he could remember. Protection and apprehension molded him into a leader; being a leader meant he had to be strong and courages. He was not allowed to show his feelings because he felt they would interfere with the camp's work. He did things unspeakable to protect others.
The pain of losing his mother bared a monster inside him and the monster had teeth. Pain upon pain was a never ending cycle in the life of Bellamy Blake but he did it all to protect Octavia. He wondered if there was a home for someone like him. The demons in his head whisper How terrible that you could do all this to yourself. How lonely you must be. Loneliness was an ugly feeling and through it all, Bellamy believed he would never gain back what he lost.
Then he met her. A stubborn, obstinate, bull headed girl who on the inside was just as broken as he was. A diamond in the rough. From the outside, she bared her teeth in other directions and walked with her head held high. Her slick comments covered tortured cries. But the more he got to know her, he discovered she was strong willed, resolute, and honorable. She took the pain buried beneath the gravel and made a pearl.
Bellamy admired the way Tatum was able to cover her destruction and still be able to lead. She was so much more than the girl he first met when they came to the ground, the girl that spit fire and dug her claws into your back. She was vulnerable and lonely just like him. She opened herself to him and the poems scratched on the walls of her throat were heard. In his mind, she was Persephone and he was Hades. But oh god, in his heart, he was Icarus and she was the sun and he found himself flying closer and closer to her until his rotting flesh melted to reveal his aching ribs.
Bellamy Blake was falling in love with Tatum Adler.
Those wings led him outside of her closed tent that night. Her faint sobs were clear. Bellamy took a step forward and then one back, and then again, and again. Tonight was traumatic. Every traumatic event in her life molded together and forced itself into her bones to the point where she wanted to give up. Her vulnerability weakened him. It made him fall to his knees and hold her in his hands. She was the sun and he was a fool fated to fall and burn. But even with wax on wings, he would fly toward her.
