Does he know? | ✓

ix

Felix slammed the glass harshly on the table, making an alarming noise but not really enough to shatter the glass nor the table.

It's already three in the morning, and everyone was already asleep in the guest rooms. Only him left, drinking his ass out.

He laughed bitterly at the thought of Nigel once again invading his mind. He felt so pathetic and his head hurts from all of the thinking he was doing.

He's had enough blaming himself thinking is it my fault? Am I a bad boyfriend? Did I do something wrong? Is it because I can't do that? am I not enough? And a lot more destructive and self-deprecative thoughts that has been resonating on his brain for the past days and he's had enough.

He just wants peace, and before he knew it, he was already reaching for his phone and dialing a certain number.

His peace.

He knows the older was busy, but he's hoping he could at least hear his voice to somehow calm himself since he still hadn't cried yet, he feels the heaviness weigh on his heart instead and his mind that's about to explode, running with a thousand thoughts.

He needs it to stop. Even just a small greeting will do.

Hyunjin has always been the calm in his storm. His comfort person. His safe zone.

Luckily, it only took the other male two rings to pick up. Felix couldn't help the relieved sigh that scaped past from his swollen-from-biting lips since it was the first time he had reached the taller since he left.

"Hello, Felix?" Is the first thing that he heard from Hyunjin.

He doesn't know if it's because of his drunk mind that was too clouded with alcohol, or if he missed Hyunjin too much, or the fact that the older was still calling him Felix when it's supposed to be Yongbokkie, baby, Lixie, pixie or whatever it is that he was entitled with, but the dam of tears that he have yet to shed, broke free into a form of river that flows down from his freckled cheeks with no intentions to stop.

"H-hyung, can you not be mad at me anymore?" He sniffled, "I don't want you to-to be angry an-anymore. Don't call me like that, I-I'm baby! Don't be mean!" He's full on sobbing now.

Felix would never try and cry in front of anyone nor would he ever let them hear him cry. Anyone but Hyunjin. (or Jisung if it's Hyunjin he needs to cry about. A very rare occasion.)

He's the only one who's allowed to see his contorted face with sad tears and snots running from his nose. He's the only one who's allowed to hear his wailing, sobbing, sniffles and choked from saliva hiccups. Hyunjin is the only one allowed to see him in his weakest, most vulnerable state and there's no special reason behind that.

He's the only one allowed to see him like that simply because he's Hyunjin. His Hyunjin.

"No, no, don't cry." The lad panicked, "I'm sorry, okay? I won't do it again, baby. Stop crying please."

Felix kept on crying anyway. He's miserable, and he missed his best friend.

"Pixie, baby, please don't cry anymore. It's making me worry. I'm sorry, okay? I won't do it again, baby, please."

Hyunjin sounds so alarmingly concerned and it's making Felix cry even more. 

He knows that Hyunjin was worried for all the wrong reason, thinking that he's responsible for Felix's tears and partly he is, he missed him a lot. But somehow, Felix can't tell Hyunjin what really just happened. He can't get himself to do it.

Hyunjin has always been so protective of him, and although Felix sees him as a huge teddy bear, Hyunjin can actually be terrifyingly intimidating when it comes to him. So he can't tell him. Hyunjin will definitely go after Nigel and the least thing that Felix want to happen right now is for the things to escalate into something bigger than it should be.

He decided to swallow it for now. He'll keep it to himself for now. Not that he can keep it long anyway.

"Hyunnie, come home soon, okay? Come home and buy me lots of ice cream." He said after he's calmed down and only faint sobbing escaping his puffy lips.

"Okay, baby. I'll come home soon." Hyunjin breathed a sigh of relief, "I'll buy you anything you want, but in return I want you to tell me what's wrong."

Felix hiccuped involuntarily as his breath hitched when he heard Hyunjin's words. He knew the older isn't that easy to fool. And he knows Hyunjin doesn't really need words to know that something was wrong with him.

Felix has always been thankful that Hyunjin knew him like the back of his own boney yet delicate hands, but at times like this, he hates it just a little.

"Okay." Is the only thing he can say. It will come out eventually anyway. He just gotta find a way to convince Hyunjin to not do anything rush.

Felix blinked his eyes awake as his lids gets heavy from crying. His body was so exhausted  and his whole being has already found the peace it was seeking causing him to feel droopy.

But before sleep can even pull him to dreamland, he heard Hyunjin whispered, "Goodnight, sunshine. I miss you. I'll see you soon."