Does he know? | ✓

vii

Felix decided to just roam around town all night, letting his mind off from things. Miraculously enough, he wasn't crying... yet. He doesn't feel like crying yet, and it's odd because the pain inside his chest is far from serene. It wants to explode. It's feeling so much, too much.

He feels like his head is so full of jumbled thoughts and stray emotions that his brain can't comprehend which one to focus on first.

Images of Nigel, his Nigel, in a not so admirable state on that bed with another dude — keeps on flashing in his mind and he can't help but let out small bitter chuckles.

That fucking bottom bitch. Why act like a dom daddy when you're a fucking pillow princess, you fuck?

Or he could be verse, but who the fuck cares at this point? He fucked another dude, and that's all I care about.

He thought petulantly.

Felix made a stop at a parking space on the side of the road that has a good view of the sea as he heard his phone ringing for the umpteenth time.

He didn't bother looking at it, for he already knew who it was based on the ringtone alone, (which was a nursery rhyme namely 'Five Little Speckled Frogs' they just loved duetting at the most random times.)

It's the very reason he was wandering around at night, after all because he didn't want that person to see him like that. Not yet, at least. He knows how much of a worrywart the other guy can be and his protective tendencies.

He's afraid if he tells Hyunjin, and he cries now, (which will certainly happen since the taller is the dust in his eyes.) it will all be true. His brain still refused to eat up the reality that he had been cheated on. His beautiful, gorgeous and perfect self has been cheated on — if that's anything but dumb. However, for some reason, he wanted to leave it that way even just for a while.

He heaved out a sigh, his eyes landing on the view of the moon reflecting at the water surface with its bright light, and it somehow made him a little calmer.

A small, genuine grin cracked on his lips as he closed his eyes, the gleaming light of the moon showers upon his face.

An image of Hyunjin smiling foolishly as he counts the stars in the sky and compares it to the speckled dust scattered beautifully across Felix's face on one of their escapades years ago came to his mind.

Hyunjin is just like the moon, always so calm and sophisticated. An elegant display that gives direction to the lost and takes place in the void.

It's crazy how even at this time, where he was supposed to be crying, he's smiling instead because of someone stupid, namely Hwang Hyunjin. His best friend that he had just argued with.

Great. He had just a disagreement with his best friend hours before, and now he discovers that his boyfriend was cheating on him moments after that.

What a life, Felix.

•••

Felix didn't know when he fell asleep, but it was pretty late in the morning when he came home to an empty house with only the wind to greet him.

He checked the time and saw it was only half-past nine and by this time, Hyunjin usually has his ass comfortably situated on the sofa with either a book or a laptop as he drinks his second cup of caffeine like the coffee addict that he is.

But his usual spot is empty.

Felix tried and checked both the study and the taller's bedroom, but he also wasn't there.

It's Sunday; therefore they're free from classes. And Hyunjin had his Sundays off from work, so it's unlikely that he's at the office right now.

Before he could even worry further, he went and dialed Minho's number.

His hyung should know where Hyunjin was, since he didn't and the latter always let someone in their friend group know whenever he had somewhere to be and was unable to tell Felix for some reason.

"Hello, Hyung."

"Morning, Lix. What made you call this early?" Felix then heard a sound of slurping, so he guessed his Hyung was currently having his coffee.

"Hyung, did Hyunjin tell you if he's going somewhere today?"

"Eh? Isn't his flight to Australia this morning?"

"Australia?" Felix was confused. Hyunjin didn't tell him anything.

It's very unlike Hyunjin to not inform Felix about him leaving, even if it's just to go to a convenience store nearby. So why was it that the taller didn't tell him now, most especially if it's as far as Australia? Albeit he saw that the older was trying to reach him last night when he's maybe too busy avoiding the same person to try to calm himself down first, but still. Not even a note or a text. None.

"Yeah, he didn't tell you?"

He felt a sudden jolt of pain in his chest, hearing Minho's question, but he just tried to chase it away.

"He must've. I may have just forgotten about it." He lied. He'd never forget something so crucial like that, especially if it's about his best friend.

"Where were you anyway? Didn't he wake you up before he left?"

"Oh, I-I was... I was out with Nigel at a party last night." He bit his tongue as he added more to his lies, "And no, we didn't have sex. Shut it down." He joked to somewhat ease the heaviness in his heart.

Minho clicked his tongue at that, "Well, that's good news for someone I know." his hyung mumbled lowly, seemingly not for Felix's ears to hear, though he heard it anyway, "anyway, I need to go wake up Ji. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

Why would someone be happy about my lame, nonexistent sex life? And who's that someone happy about my misery?

He questioned, but he didn't let himself dwell too much on it, shifting his focus on the more important matter at hand.

"Greet Hannie a good morning for me. Bye, hyung."

Felix went back to his best friend's room after the call and tossed his body on the bed.

Maybe Hyunjin really just forgot to tell him he was leaving. The taller wouldn't leave him uninformed intentionally no matter how mad he was with Felix. Well, not that they ever argued this bad before though, so he couldn't tell.

Surely, there was a reason.

Felix decided he would call Hyunjin later that evening, since his Hyung did inform him that the taller male just left that morning.

He's actually somewhat thankful that Hyunjin wasn't home, for he still doesn't know exactly what to feel.

He needs to put himself together before he spontaneously combust with too much emotion.

Felix basked in the scent of Hyunjin that seeped through the pillows, hugging them as he tried to calm his mind.