In Cold Blood [Ash Lynx] - Banana Fish

The Letter

Dear Ash,

Where to start? I guess if you're reading this letter then it means that you chose him and that's definitely the right choice for you. Not that I ever had a chance or even your interest, but humour me.

Ash, what we've accomplished is an amazing thing, something we're both tremendously proud of. None of this would've been possible without your help and I want you to know how grateful I am for everything you've done and sacrificed to see it through to the end.

Now that this is over, I need to find a new purpose in life and as much as I'm happy you've found Eiji again, I can't say it doesn't hurt me that I've not found my complete happiness in this lonely world of ours. I think I'm out of luck when it comes to ever being fully happy, so that's probably too much to ask for.

Maybe in another life, we would've met and been together. Maybe in a different world, we wouldn't be doing what we do and we could've lived regular lives. But that's how life is and has always been for us. I'd say that I wouldn't have it any other way but there's no way I could have ever changed my fate in the first place.

I hope that you don't live wondering what could have been and can now live your life how you want to now that your mind is set free. Maybe you can change your future, or maybe you already have. We've both put our minds to rest and we can now move on.

Ash, no one deserves to be a free man more than you. No one will truly understand what we've been through except for each other and I'll always share that with you. Even though we'll never see each other again, I want you to know that you'll never have to carry your pain alone.

You mean more to me than you'll ever know and remember that I never hated you, it's the opposite. I just saw so much of myself in you when we first met that it scared me.

I know you thanked me for saving you that day, but I want to thank you in return. Thank you.

Ash - you saved me too.