Alexithymia

seconds

mhm.. it's been a few days, it's really.. getting really hard to tell what i should be feeling and what i shouldnt be feeling - it sucks so much so that i feel like i've been slowly drifting away from asahi but somehow i cant stomach up the words to say it to his face.

god only knows what can happen if i don't value him.. 

[i feel like i dont value him or enough anymore..] 

here we are.. sitting near to each other whilst waiting for Ms. Kim's appointment with another person.. 

"You seem tense hun, what's wrong hun?"  my eyes shift over to him as i fix my hair in worry.

"nothings wrong.. i just want to see her today.." that reply.. it sounded so.. nothing as if my emotions are being bent..

it's annoying yet.. i can't tell if i should be or not - it's strange so i gave asahi a pec and a smile. maybe today is just a weird day..

"Aw, well take care of yourself then. when you get in I'll leave shortly for rat spray, they've been snooping around at our place for a while now." asahi's reply is very straitghtforward.. what should i.. 

*Buzz Buzz*

*Creeak* 

huh? oh? the previous person finally came out, i smiled genuinely whilst fixing my hair - my legs tremble slightly as i enter her office and present myself with the smile but it turn into a nervious giggle but she happily offers me a seat.

"Hello, darlin' did you keep the tips I gave you in mind?" Mis Kim smiles, with something in her hand.

What is that anyways?

"Hehe, you're looking at this thing in my hand? It's a gemstone, called Grandidierite. I obtained this from the antique, it's on my collection and I got when I finally overcame the many trifles in my life and this is the token of achievement! It only proves that everyone can overcome their problems, and if you're condition grows better - someday I'll pass you along a grandidierite." 

[Grandidierite has a symbolism of finally taking the final leap and opening all the chakra paths]

Ah.. grandidierite.. I've heard of that before - My dad used to be a miner..

"O-oh.. that's amazing.. about the tips.. I've been drinking water and eating properly.. but it's been difficult getting together with my emotions lately."

"That's alright we can always go for seconds! We'll just recap our session from yesterday then move on to identifying the critical parts of your life." 

ah.. her face sounds like diamonds.. to me and the look of her heels are like smooth stereo.. 

wait.. those things don't correspond with what i just said.

[Diamonds are used for adjective looks whilst Stereos are for adjective sounds, hmm what seems to be happening..]

well.. it's no big deal.. I could just stare at her and listen to her sweet swan-like voice.

haa..

seconds..

i love seconds..