WORDS. |Kim Seungmin

Twenty Eight.

Darkness.

Darkness was surrounding his body and soul.

He was lying flat on the ground. His eyes were filled with emptiness as if his soul had left his body. His parted lips were crusty as if they hadn't touched water for the whole week. The very faint dim moonlight that came through the cracks of the closed curtains was enough to show his state. He was lifeless. Pale. Weak. The room around him was as lifeless as he was. The photos that he took recently were scattered to the floor around him. He didn't care to stick them to the walls as the others.

He lost.

He lost his chance in fixing everything. Or that was what he thought. He was going to face her, eventually, but not that soon. Not before he finds a way out. Not in the way that happened at the café that day. Not when he's still the ugly freak he thinks he is.

But he lowered his guards. He forgot about his real self. He started enjoying Aria's presence and then her friend's and her brother's. It's been a long time since he had people around him that he forgot about his past. And the people from his past. He wanted to face Aria when he was a better version of himself. When he has enough strength to ask for forgiveness. When he has enough strength to ask for her help. He didn't want to scare her. He didn't want to lose her.

The loud knocking on his door pulled him from his thoughts. Those knocks never stopped. Sometimes it was Aria checking on him, whining, asking questions, or just rambling. Sometimes it was Felix narrating the menu he left by the door that Seungmin never accepted. Even Changbin passed by once or twice. His phone too didn't stop dinging from the messages he was receiving until the battery died.

They were worried.

He knew they wanted to make sure he was okay but he wasn't. He didn't know how to face them. How to face her. She would ask questions that he didn't know how to answer without lying to her or scaring her. And he dreaded the two options. That's why he locked himself in, hoping that he would find a way. But as the days started rolling, he found himself drowning in his own dark thoughts, and in conclusion, he had nothing to tell her except the ugly truth.

Gathering the very few ounces of his strength, he tried to stand up. His weak dehydrated body couldn't work properly but at last, he did stand to his wobbly feet. He leaned against the wall to get some support from it before his hand reaches the doorknob and twisted it.

The way downstairs was never that long and tiring for him before. He kept swaying from side to side through the dark living room. His eyes were blurry and his breathing was weak. His throat was extremely dry. He tried his best to ignore all of that when he finally made it to the door. His heart refused to calm down from how nervous he was. He closed his eyes and focused on breathing for a little before he opens them and then opens the door.

Once the door was open, Seungmin stepped back. Aria was startled. She didn't expect that he would open.

"Finally!" She gasped, stepping in. Seungmin retreated more, keeping a distance between them. "Are you okay?" She asked with concern. Seungmin nodded.

It was dark but Aria didn't miss how he was swaying. It was dark but Aria could see how his head was hanging low with his hoodie engulfing him and the hood covering his head and face.

Aria walked to the switches to the right and turned on the lights. Seungmin groaned in pain once the light attacked his eyes. It's been a long time since he faced any light. He quickly held his hands to his face to cover his eyes and turned around to give Aria his back, afraid that she might see something on him that he wasn't sure it existed or not.

Aria gritted her teeth in frustration. She didn't like how he was hiding and running. She was worried but she was disappointed in him thinking that he still wasn't trusting her.

"What's going on with you?" She asked in a controlled voice. "You can tell me. Whatever it is, we can talk. If there is a problem, I'll help. I'm sure that Felix and Changbin will help too." She said as she was taking small steps towards him.

Seungmin could hear her approaching and he didn't know what to do. He was doomed. He didn't move or give any reaction which fueled Aria's anger. She clenched her fist around the paper in her hand.

"So, I told you all about me, my family, and my past. I told you about what happened with Felix and I even told you about Changbin's ex! I kept talking and talking and you just listened. You never told me a damn thing about you." Aria's voice started to volume up. "Who are you, Kim Seungmin?" She finally started asking. "Where were you until now? Where is your family? Why are you so secretive? What do you hide in this house to keep it shielded from the outside world? What do you hide in the room upstairs to keep it locked?" She yelled letting go of all her anger, frustration, and worries. "And most importantly, why don't you talk?" She paused to gasp for air. She breathed heavily before she sighs loudly. "You talk, don't you?" She questioned.

Seungmin's body twitched. He felt like electricity passed through it. His eyes widened and his head jerked up. His lips started trembling.

"You talk, Kim Seungmin. You actually can talk. You are not mute. You just chose not to. Isn't it?" She was talking in a calmer tone.

Silence surrounded both of them. Aria's anger was building up again. He was affected by her words and she caught on how his body reacted, but still, he refused to give her an answer to any of her questions. Aria was about to resume talking when a loud sigh echoed through the house, catching Aria off guard that she jolted.

"You won't like the answers to those questions." A voice said.

A voice that Aria was hearing for the second time. It was calm, stable, firm yet kind, and soothing at the same time. It was harmonious as a beautiful lullaby but scary as a death hymn.

Aria was still trying to comprehend. She was still dazed by the voice. She was still working her brain gears. She was trying to form a sentence and work her tongue. She was looking for her questions again, but all were useless when Seungmin turned slowly to finally face her. His hooded eyes pierced through her soul as he lifted his head up, dropping the hood backward. His face was stoic.

Aria couldn't take her eyes off his face that she didn't notice how he unzipped his hoodie and slipped it down his arms. The hoodie dropped to the floor, showing the white tank top that was hiding underneath it. Aria's eyes flickered from Seungmin eyes to his arms, collars, and neck.

She gasped.

Aria's jaw dropped along with the paper that left her hand to meet the floor.

The paper that Seungmin wrote for their project intro long ago.

The paper with the words:

'If the words you say appear on your skin, will you still look beautiful?'