WORDS. |Kim Seungmin

Forty Five.

It was only the two of them who stepped into the quiet dimly lighted room. Seungmin wanted to do this alone but knowing that he might break down, Aria insisted on accompanying him, leaving the rest of their friends standing behind the door.

Seungmin's steps were heavy and hesitant as he made his way to the center of the room, followed by Aria who never let go of his trembling hand. He made it to the one and only bed situated in the middle and stopped. He was fighting his tears. He was fighting the feeling of regret that was taking over him. If only he had the courage to face him one year earlier. If only he had Aria by his side the last winter. If only, he could've done better. He could've met him before it was too late.

Seungmin sighed as he looked at the fragile body laying silently, peacefully in the hospital bed, where he was for almost a year now.

That was his last stop. That was the only victim Seungmin knew about where he was before they even start planning for their trip. He wasn't even far from where they lived in Seoul, but Seungmin was procrastinating. He had the heaviest heart ever to face him. To face the lifeless person he became.

It was winter when Seungmin heard about the accident the boy went through and how he ended up in this hibernation. As Seungmin heard, he had no specific diagnosis. He was asleep, just like all those patients in this department of the hospital, sleeping with no signs of when they would be awake, or if they would ever be.

That wasn't uncommon in the world they were living in. Some suggested that it was a punishment where the Punished wouldn't even be able to look for their Healers. They would just stay still and wait for them to find where they were sleeping.

Seungmin pulled the chair and placed it by the bed and sat down, letting go of Aria's hand for the first time since they stepped in this hospital. The girl decided to let him have his moment and retreated to the corner sofa. She sat down quietly but she never shoved her eyes away from him.

Seungmin's eyes trailed the figure ahead of him one more time. He was the same as Seungmin remembered. Opposite to Namsik's state, the sleeping boy looked like he didn't grow up even the slightest. He looked exactly like the boy who stood in the school's corridor years ago, yelled at Seungmin, being the only one who had a little courage to face him and tell him that he would regret his deeds.

The one who called Seungmin a murderer.

The one who told Seungmin that he would be regretting his own words.

Seungmin chuckled at the memory. "If it wasn't for how the world is already fucked up, I would've said that you are a wizard or something. You just said those words and I got that curse right then." Seungmin chuckled again, dropping his head. "Karma is bitch, right?"

Earning no answer, he lifted his head and looked at the deeply sleeping boy. His skin was still pale. The dark circles around his eyes never seemed less. The fragile thin body was the same.

"What did you do to be sleeping here like that?" Seungmin questioned. Tears started to form in his eyes again. "You weren't supposed to be like that! You had to see me. You had to see the freak I turned into and how my life got fucked for what I did. You- You.." Seungmin's tears started rolling down his cheeks as his throat started to sting from how he was fighting crying. "Is that how you are punishing me? By not giving me the chance to apologize for what I did to you?"

A gasp escaped Seungmin's lips as he couldn't hold his sobs anymore. His shoulders started shaking and he let out his cries, not caring about how he might sound. Aria rushed to him and quickly stood behind him, wrapping her arms around his shaking body, resting her head in the crook of his neck while trying to shush him.

"How could he get in hibernation before having the chance to see me like that? Hm?" Seungmin questioned between the sobs. Aria was still trying to shush him by rocking their bodies from left to right. "You said that I will regret my words, and I did. I regret. I do with every piece of me. I got terribly punished for that but I'm still willing to take more. How could you? You should've been here. Awake. You should've been yelling at me now as you did years ago. You should've been hating on me and cursing me."

Seungmin inched closer to the bed. He held the boy's hand with his two, pulling it to his crying wet face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all I did. I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I'm not asking for being healed. I just.. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all you had to go through. I'm sorry for betraying your trust. I'm sorry for deceiving you and pretending to be your friend and leading you to the hell you lived while dealing with them."

Seungmin choked on his own tears.

That was the worst of breakdowns he had so far. Aria felt useless. She couldn't calm him and she even started crying her own river. It would've been better, easier on him, if the boy was awake.

"I'm sorry for being that late. I should've come earlier but I was still a coward." Seungmin said as he pulled away from the boy. He slowly lowered the boy's hand to his side again. Seungmin wiped his tears with the back of his hand as his sobs were turning into softer sniffles. "Please, wake up soon. Don't waste more years of your life lying here. It's not fair." Seungmin stood up to his feet, pulling Aria by the arm to his side as if he was looking for her support. "And if you ever to think of forgiving me, please forgive them too. Although it doesn't give any of us the right to do what we did, but none of us was raised properly. None of our parents was the type who could raise proper human beings. And I'm pretty sure that each one of them had already had his share of punishment by now."

Seungmin stepped back from the bed. He wasn't sure he could stay for longer. He walked up to the door with Aria who was once again holding his hand tightly. Seungmin twisted the doorknob and opened the door. Just before he steps out, he stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Thank you. If you were the cause of me getting this curse, then thank you! Now I know that words hurt like a bullet."

With that, they stepped out of the room, closing the door behind them, letting the sleeping boy fall in dead silence again.

Once they were out, their three friends rushed to them. Of course, they heard Seungmin's sobs from behind that door.

"How did that go?" Felix asked.

Aria looked at Seungmin with a broken smile. She lifted her free hand to pat his shoulder. "He did just fine."

"It's over, right?" Changbin questioned, earning a nod from Seungmin.

"Finally!" Sky sighed in relief.

"Now what?" Felix asked again.

"Now we get hotdog!" Changbin said, stepping between Aria and Seungmin, throwing his arms around their shoulders as he started walking towards the exit, pulling them along. "I'm starving here and I'm craving hotdog."

"Sounds good to me." Sky replied.

Aria giggled. She looked briefly at her brother and his girl who were following them closely, but her eyes caught someone else far away in the corridor to the left. Her eyes lingered there as her face scrunched up.

"What?" Changbin asked, noticing his friend's confused face.

"Nothing. I thought I saw someone I know."

"Who?"

"Hmm?" She looked at Changbin. "Never mind. I guess I'm wrong."

Changbin shrugged letting it go.

The five friends stepped out of the building, finally meeting the morning sun that the inside of the building lacked. Once they were out, they stopped to decide where to go for their precious hotdog but that was immediately brushed away once they noticed something.

"Seungmin," Sky called. "I know he's asleep. But did you talk to him?"

Seungmin nodded which made Sky, Felix, and Changbin look at each other with confusion. They then looked at Aria who was clueless about what was happening.

Felix's eyes widened as he looked back at Seungmin. "You have nothing!" He uttered. Seungmin still didn't get what they were talking about so he tilted his head at Felix who talked again, in obvious excitement mixed with shock this time.

"Where are your words, Kim Seungmin?"