Dysphoria- An Umbrella Academy Fanfiction

†Ashes

Octavia had changed into a more fitting, but more uncomfortable outfit that she had brought along, and was avoiding joining the rest of her family making their way outside.

She looked outside the window, and watched the raindrops race each other down the glass. Klaus, trailing at the back of the procession, locked eyes with her, and beckoned her to join them with a grin.

He held out the umbrella he was holding, and she took it, her feet squelching on the wet grass beneath her as they made her way towards the rest of them.

Octavia looked up, and watched as the rain hit the sheer plastic of the umbrella above her as the family came to a standstill near a knotted, twisted tree.

She felt inside the pocket of her jacket and flicked open a pack of cigarettes, and, still one handed, held one between her darkly painted lips and fished inside again for a lighter. Shielding the pathetic flame with her hand, Klaus held out his own cigarette for her to light.

Her heart leapt inside her ribcage when she heard a scream to the side of her. Whipping her head around, the scream echoed in her head, and Five, who was standing to the side of her, looked at her questioningly at her sudden movements.

Octavia heard Him laugh at her, and cringed internally at how sharply she still reacted. She inhaled smoke shakily, continuously blocking out the noise of her brother monologuing.

If Luther held onto their father any tighter his fingers would make indents in the urn.

She closed her eyes, His laughs were still echoing around her skull. Octavia reached into the inside pocket, the one everyone always thinks is secret, and her fingers found a small ziplock bag.

With the edge of her fingernail, she edged it open, hand still inside her jacket, and pulled out two violet pills, indented with a shape she hadn't yet been bothered to decipher.

Faking a (very convincing) yawn she covered her mouth with her hand politely, and, as her hand relaxed from a fist to flat, the two vibrant pills fell into her mouth.

Before the pills even began to take effect, her attention was snatched away by her brothers back hitting the stone podium where another one of her brothers stood, forever encased in stone.

The momentum knocked Ben off the platform, where he hit the ground with a heavy thud that echoed through the siblings ears. His head cracked off when he hit the ground, and it rolled a few feet away, being stopped by a buildup of mud on the ground, rain falling down his cheek like tears.

The unused cigarette in Octavia's hand began to burn the tips of her fingers.

Her hands went slack, and she dropped the cigarette and black umbrella onto the grass. She found herself kneeling on the cold, wet grass cradling her brothers head.

White-hot tears ran down her face, mixing with the rain. She lifted her head up to meet the droplets, watching the rain fall, hypnotised by it.

She let out a strangled cry of anguish, crying for her brother, crying for herself, crying until she couldn't cry anymore.

Her siblings began to peel away, feeling awkward and embarrassed. Klaus and Five stayed the longest, Klaus picking up her black umbrella and taking it inside, knowing she would forget it.

She jumped when she felt an arm around her shoulders, and hadn't realised how hard she'd been shivering until Pogo put his cardigan around her. He rubbed her back comfortingly, gently pushing her to stand up.

He guided her to the door, and all she could focus on was shooting up to forget the funeral and forget her brother. And changing out of her wet clothes.

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