[TAC] THREE'S A CROWD

Chapter 19

{Tay}

The holiday break usually goes by fast every year, but this particular year, it went exceptionally slow. He thoroughly enjoyed all of the family time and presents, just like any regular person would, but by a certain point, he started actually looking forward to getting back to school and attending classes again. Absurd, he knows.

He also knows that it's only because school is the only place he can see New. He can't see New during holidays, or during breaks from school, because they don't share those personal parts of their lives with each other anymore. Now Tay is lucky to get a glimpse of New before the first period of the day, if by chance he gets to school on time. Then of course, he also has a class with him, but that's more like torture---it's not the same as the gift of getting to observe New from far away. It's just straight forward, cold, bitter, torture.

Now that classes have started back up, Tay has to ignore the fact that it's been about a month since they've broken up, and the thought still shocks him. To think that he'd never even imagined them parting ways, and now they've been doing so for a month, is something no one saw coming.

He keeps this breakup anniversary fact to himself, but that doesn't stop it from being brought up by someone else.

"It's almost been a month," Singto says as they're resting after running laps.

Tay contemplates pushing him so hard he falls on his ass, yelling profanities at him, or just plain ignoring him, but he manages a small head nod, before making his way somewhere else.

In all of the weeks since they've split, Tay hadn't seen New in the cafeteria even once. It's probably horrible, the fact that this gave Tay a sliver of satisfaction, because it meant he wasn't sitting by Off, but it also stung a bit, because it made it seem like he only ever ate in the cafeteria to please Tay and his friends. Tay wishes New could've told him more about what he wanted. What's even worse is that maybe he did, but all Tay could care about was himself. His pompous, pathetic self.

It's on the third day back, when Tay's sitting at the usual spot during lunch, that his heart almost pauses its steady beats altogether, because he sees it. It's also the first time it crosses his mind, and he wonders why he'd never worried about it before.

He'd just bitten into his burger, but stilled his jaw mid-chew once he heard the sound of New's laughter, which was faint, but as loud as a fire alarm in Tay's trained ears. His head quickly turned toward the familiar sound, and there he was, sitting with Off and Gun, head completely thrown back in laughter. Gun's sitting across from them, obviously providing the jokes for New to laugh at, and New and Off are sat right next to each other, across from him.

It invades his mind for the first time since the breakup. He allows the words to replay in his mind as he sits there, his eyes glued to the back of New's head.

You know what? Maybe I will

The words sting Tay's chest just like they did the first time, but he'd never taken them seriously. He'd thought New was just trying to jab deep into Tay's insecurities because of how much Tay had hurt him. Now, he can't help but wonder if...no.

This is fucking terrifying.

Tay finishes chewing and clasps his hands together on top of his lap in order to restrain from doing anything. All of the possessiveness and longing inside of him wants to go straight over and fucking beg New not to, stop it from happening before it even begins---so he clasps his hands tighter.

He's trying to remain calm, because after all, it's his fault that all of this happened---

But he can't just sit here and watch! The one thing Tay had been most afraid of during their relationship is actually happening before his eyes, and all he can do is sit here and feel bad for himself.

His fists begin to clench his palms even harder, but he tries to contain his anger as best he can.

Tay would rather New date any of the sleazy guys on his team, or any of the even sleazier guys on the football team, or even the sexiest, most chiseled guy on earth for goodness' sake---one that puts Tay to complete shame---, just as long as he isn't dating Off.

Anyone but Off.

Off had been so pretentious and confident about taking New right from Tay's arms, and the last thing Tay wants is for him to end up winning. Off will never be what New needs, and he just has to sit here and cross his fingers that New knows that. That is, if he hasn't already made his decision to be with Off yet.

Tay swallows a lump in his throat, beginning to scratch at his thighs as he turns his head somewhere else. Now he can't even stare at them sitting next to each other without thinking about the possibilities of them doing certain, other things---things he and Tay used to do. It makes him want to throw up everything he'd eaten since he'd woken this morning.

He looks down at his hands under the table, the skin growing white from all of the tension. He allows them to loosen a bit; contained anger is never a good thing.

He trusts New. He trusts and knows that New is aware of how broken Tay would be by this, and he wouldn't do that.

Tay does a good job of remaining relatively calm, up until he's alone in the gym after practice, shooting baskets and deep in thought. The image of New laughing next to Off flashes through his head multiple times as he's making a shot, and it causes him to miss by a large margin.

He rubs his index fingers over his temples in order to calm his mind, but he knows it's not going to work. Since he's started to think about it now, he's not going to rest until he knows for sure. That's how things have always worked for him.

He walks over to pick up the basketball that rolled away, and he twirls it in his hands as the image pops up in his mind again. His eyes stare blankly at the wall in front of him as he thinks about Off simply putting a hand around New's waist. He hurls the basketball at the wall with all the power he has, causing a loud boom to echo through the gym, and he squats down to the ground, running stressful hands through his hair as that lump starts to form again.

"Please, no," Tay chokes out.