Dance In The Rain

~4~ The Insignificance

It's funny how a road you take almost every day of your life can suddenly feel so foreign. Like a line in a song suddenly strikes different, even though you've heard the words again and again, never before noticing the significance.

I'm not sure what's so fascinating about this stretch of highway, but suddenly I start noticing things I never have before. Like the way the sun hits the debris on the side and makes it glitter like diamonds.

I never noticed the diamonds before...Maybe this is how people who know they're dying feel. They start noticing all the mundane things in a new light.

Ok, I know you're thinking I'm being dramatic. Julianne, you're not dying so get a grip! You're a healthy kid who is just moving...Quit feeling so sorry for yourself!

I hear you, cranky people! But I can't really help it. My dad died, and maybe I can gain your sympathy that way, and I'll take it I guess...But if I'm being totally honest, I'm relieved he's dead.

He was never very nice to me and Tate. He came and went with no warning, like a riptide that catches you off guard and tries to drown you.

I'm trying to sort out my thoughts but they're just not making sense. I guess you can say I'm scared. I'm not sad I'm leaving my home, because it was just a house. I'm sad to leave Cook, but I had no friends to leave other than him.

Tate sure did though.

I watch him looking out his window, and I'm unsure if he's seeing the diamonds, or if he's seeing the debris. I can tell by the way he keeps wiping the sweat off his hands that he's scared, but he's also completely heartbroken.

He is losing more than I am

Molly rides in the front with our chauffeur, Bill—I actually didn't know you could do that. I thought everyone had to ride in the back.

"Think Holden is nice?" I whisper quietly, yet my voice in the stillness causes him to jump and takes him out of the deep thought he was in.

He clears his throat as he looks at me and simply shrugs.

"He was nice when he lived with us," I say a little louder, and Tate shrugs again.

"That was years ago, Julianne. He could be a dick for all we know."

Oh no! What if he's worse than dad! What if we're driving towards a hurricane, when we could have just endured the rip tide.

I never thought of that

"Do you remember what he looks like?" I ask after a few minutes of quiet riding, every second bringing us closer to the airport.

He looks back at me and irritation crosses his face. "You saw his pictures in the foyer just like I did!" He snaps.

"But that was when he was our age! How will we know who he is?"

"Jules, I really just need you to shut the hell up, ok?" He snaps as he turns back toward the window and bounces his leg.

"Sorry about your competition."

"JULIANNE!"

"Sorry," I breathe as I look out my window and watch as the road starts to bend, and I wonder what life will be like at the end of our destination.

~*~

When Molly takes us where we need to be, she gives us another sad smile. "Holden will be waiting when you land. Good luck to the both of you."

"Yeah, enjoy your vodka when you get home," Tate spits as he starts walking toward security and I follow after him.

"Tate, slow down! I don't wanna get lost."

"Well we're orphans now so we can't get more lost than that," he says darkly.

When we board the plane, I'm so thankful that he seems to have it together. He just looks so brave and sure of himself as he points for me to take window seat and puts my carry-on in the overhead compartment.

I keep hearing clanking after we get situated, and I start to get snappy. What the hell is that annoying sound and how can I make it stop?

Tate looks at me as if he's annoyed by the sound too, and silently takes the seatbelt I apparently had in my hands and buckles it for me.

Holy crap that was me making the noise! Are my hands shaking? Dang why are my hands shaking so bad?!?

Once we take off, Tate puts in the headphones the plane provided and watches a movie, but I can't function enough to do anything. All I can muster is keeping my eyes open and my breathing steady as the clouds move beneath us.

The turbulence would normally rock my world, but today I couldn't care less. What's the worst that could happen? The plane goes down?....Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

~*~

When we land, Tate stares at the blank screen for a long time, even after our row was supposed to exit.

"Tate....." I hiss as I shake his leg nervously.

"I just need a minute," he breathes.

We sit there another minute, when the flight attendant starts walking down the aisle toward us—We're the last ones on the plane.

As she approaches, he blows out a breath and unbuckles, standing up and getting our luggage down from the compartment above.

Walking out of the plane feels weird, because it's like we're stepping off of the one thing that linked us to California. We're stepping off of the plane and into unknown territory. What the hell is in Florida?

"Holy crap it's 8 pm!" I hiss when I look at my phone.

"Yeah?"

"But it was only a five hour flight! I should be 5pm...."

Tate gives me an are you stupid look as he rolls his eyes. "The time zone is different here."

"Oh!" I say as I think that though. Ah man! Now we have to deal with jet lag too....

I'm not sure what I expected to happen when we walked out of the terminal and looked around. Maybe our brother holding a sign with our names on it like you see in movies.

Or, he instantly knows who we are and doesn't need a sign. He knows who we are because we're blood, and we have some sort of gravitational pull towards each other.

I also imagined that he sees us and gets a really scary scowl on his face, unimpressed with how we turned out. I'm not the prettiest, but Tate is good looking. He was pretty popular in school and always had girls looking at him...But maybe Holden gets embarrassed that his one and only sister looks like a toad.

What I didn't anticipate; however, was him not being there at all.

Both of us look around the seating area, and nobody is there that would match Holden. We glance out toward other terminals nearby and see nobody, and I start to panic.

"Tate!" I breathe, feeling like I'm about to sob right here in the airport and cause a scene.

"Maybe he's waiting at the baggage claim. Let's get our stuff," he says quietly as he walks around the corner and I have to run to catch up.

When we see our luggage riding the conveyer belt, our brother is nowhere to be found.

"What are we going to do?!?!" I panic, causing Tate to look at me.

"We're trapped here! Nobody even gave us any money, Tate! What are we going to do?!?!"

I see for just a split second how scared he is too as he watches my face. After another second he nods and looks over his shoulder. When he sees that Holden still isn't here, he shrugs.

"We wait, I guess. Let's go back to our terminal, Jules."

As we walk, listening to our luggage wheels clack over every bump and crack in the floor, a tear trickles down my face. I thought the worst that would happen when I woke up this morning was that I'd spend another night alone in my room, being bored.

I never could've imagined that instead of my room, I'd be orphaned and abandoned in an airport with one brother, while the other one decided he didn't want us after all.