My Mistake || Scaramouche x Y/N

Chapter 11: BFFS

I woke up in the middle of the night when the sky was still dark with only stars. My eyes were wet. See I had just woken up from a nightmare, well it was really a memory I've worked to forget and suppress it to the back of my head where I wouldn't have to think about. However I do get nightmares from time to time. Basically what happened was I had to watch my closest, only friend die and I couldn't do anything. Whatever it happened a long time ago,  learned to move forward, lingering on the past wont do me any good.

Their death happened after my parents stopped being parents. They were practically my only way of escaping my home. I start remembering the little things they would do for me, like sharing their food, and always asking how my day was. Little actions but those little actions meant the world to me back then. I'll never forget the day they died...

I remember every little detail and after their death I changed. And maybe that's why I devoted the majority of my time to training, why I didn't bother to attempt to make new friends, because all I do is hurt people. First my parents, then them. I feel the tears build up in my eyes, I get up from being on top of the Harbinger and decide to take a walk. I give myself a pep-talk telling myself not to get into my head. I'm not going to cry in the middle of the woods, at least not cry anymore than I already have. I try to shake these negative thoughts but they kept occupying my mind.

I keep walking away from where our little camp was. Eventually I just break down, I give up. Its been a while since I've just let all my emotions out. Right now I just feel like complete shit. Pretty quickly my face is full of tears like a river that doesn't seem to have an end. While I was there on the ground sobbing something caught my attention. Someone was calling my name.

"Y/N where are you, why'd you leave?"

I recognized the voice almost immediately, it was him. Of course he had to wake up right now, looking for me. I started to try and control my sniffs hoping he wouldn't notice I was crying.

"What do you want?" I say wanting him to just go away.

"I want you to come back it's freezing without you" Scaramouche says, his voice a little drowsy.

"I'm good just leave me alone" I say trying to not make my voice crack so he doesn't start pestering me even more about me crying and shit.

"Y/N don't be like that please" He says, I can hear him move closer to me.

"Just stay away from me please.." I say my voice giving up. I tuck my head in my arms and I go back to crying.

When I look up from my little cave I see the Harbinger just looking at me. He places his hand up to my cheek and wipes away the tears falling down.

"You wanna talk about it? I mean I'm not the best at comforting or whatever but if it'll make you feel better." he says his voice still drowsy from waking up a few minutes ago.

I shake my head no and he doesn't say anything. He just stays there with me for a bit until he gets up and asks if I was coming back to the camp. I decide to go back, I'm good now. I can't look any weaker than I already have. I follow him back and jeez are my eyes watery.

When we make it back to our camp he goes back to the spot he was sleeping and goes right back into sleep. Not bothering to wait for me or anything. I lay done a couple feet away from him...you know despite him being crazy and terrifying at times there are also some nice moments with him. After laying down with my thoughts I fall asleep once again.

I wake up to Scaramouche lightly tapping me. My eyes flutter open and immediately shut due to the sunlight. Once my eyes finally adjust to the glaring light, the Harbinger offers me his hand to help me get up. I take his hand and he help me lift myself up.

I thank him and he simply nods. Without any exchanges we begin our final walk back to our base. The walk was really pretty, the bird were out flying gathering worms or bugs to take back to their nest. Also in the forest I saw some squirrels gathering food. Not to mention the longer we walked to cooler it got. At first it was just pure sun but now there was a nice little breeze.

"So Y/N wanna tell me why you were crying like a baby last night?" Scaramouche asks suddenly.

"Not really but so I have to?" I asked.

"Yes it's an order" he said.

I wonder what happened to that respectful Scaramouche who didn't push to know why I was crying last night I thought to myself.

"Well, see I had this friend, they are my best friend. They were there for me when no one was, And they're dead." I said not wanting to really think about this subject again.

"Oh well I'm sorry to hear that." he said still walking.

"Thanks I guess." I said hoping we'd change topics fast as quickly.

See I didn't mind talking about my best friend. But did I want to hell no. I guess some may see this as a contradicting point of view but to me it makes sense. I just have to be in a good state of mind in order to talk about them without bawling. After last nights incident I'm not in the "right state of mind." For one I didn't wanna relive those memories and two I CRIED IN FRONT OF MY SUPERIOR, MY BOSS. WHO THE HELL DOES THAT, I MEAN WHAT WAS I THINKING.

"Well Y/N if it makes you feel better Ill be your best friend." he says.

"Thanks but I'm not really sure that how that works. I mean I don't think you ask someone to be best friend with you, you just kinda are." I tell him.

"Y/N appreciate the fucking gesture, okay" he says kinda annoyed, he then mumbles a few curses under his breathe.

"Alright I'm sorry" I told him.

We kept walking in silence and I started to wonder off again. I wonder why he choose me to go on this mission with him. I mean he doesn't really seem to like me just tolerate me. So why me.

"Say Scaramouche why'd you choose me to go on this mission?? I mean we haven't really done anything important." I asked hoping he'd answer.

"Well I'm not really sure, you seemed the most capable out of all those other people." Scaramouche says.

For some reason this little dumb comment made me happy. He thinks Im capable!! That's really nice of him in a way. Pretty soon I found myself smiling at the comment Im taking as a compliment. The more you think about it the more you realise how it isn't anything special but to me that meant a lot.

"Can you hurry up please?!" he asked bringing me back to reality.

"If you wanted to make me go faster you could always hold my hand." I say teasing him.

"The fuck, Im not your boyfriend or something, get that idea out of your dumb brain." he said.

OUCH OKAY. And with that I went back to thinking he's a goddamn prick.

After walking for about thirty minutes we made it back!! Wow the base looks exactly the same as we left it. He walked me back to my tent which I did not miss at all. But it was still better than sleeping in the woods on grass so.

"Y/N, thank you for accompanying me on the mission." He says.

"Oh it was no problem boss" I tell him.

"I look forward to working with you again." He says. Before he leaves and I have a a chance to tell him something he takes my hand and plants a kiss on it. He leaves me there in shock. Did he really just kiss my hand. I start internally freaking out, why did he do that, why am I freaking out?!

((HI READER IM BACK AGAIN!! SO IM SORRY FOR THIS CHAPTER (it was kinda ass tbh). AND FOR THE LONG ASF TIME IT TOOK ME TO UPDATE. ANYWAYS ILL BE SEEING YOU GUYS AGAIN WHENEVER I POST. LOVE YOU ALL REMEBER TO DRINK WATER, EAT AND SLEEP A LITTLE! BYE READERS <33)