The Beta's Straight Mate (boyxboy) Bk 2

Chapter 14:....DAY 4: The fault is all mine...

Chapter 14

I exited the convenience store and went to lean against my car door, pulling the cigarette out of its package and placing it between my lips. It had been a while since I’d gotten over my addiction.

In the space of a year I had gone from being a pack a day smoker to a non-smoker, all with the help of Grady and now here I stood, ready to ruin all that work.

It’s just that back then smoking had helped take the edge off, relieve my stress if only for a little while and right now I was feeling at my wits end. I was just a big ball of nervous energy, mixed with anger, worry and utter helplessness. I felt so overwhelmed with all these emotions and this was my best solution right now. I needed to relax.

Ironic wasn’t it? That the person who had helped me over my addiction was the one who was driving me back into it? Yeah life could be a bitch sometimes. I flicked out the lighter and lit up my cigarette, taking a long satisfying drag.

It wasn’t really that he didn’t tell me himself, it was more the fact that no matter how I begged him to take responsibility for himself and no matter how much I warned him about the consequences of his actions he did the exact opposite of what I asked.

I didn’t mind helping him out; he was my mate and my best friend after all, it’s just that when you start living your life worrying day in and day out about someone, never able to relax, there comes a point where it gets the be too much for you and I was definitely at the end of my rope.

Early tonight on my drive over here I’d come to the conclusion that Grady would never change. He’d try like he always did but in the end we’d be right back where we started and I knew that one day he’d do something that would end with him being buried six feet under. Most partners would have ended the friendship or relationship by now yet here I was years later still dealing with his screw ups.

I was sick of it, sick worrying, sick of shouldering all his responsibilities; I was strong but even the strongest of men had their limits.

“Drugs.” I whispered into the night, then watched the puff of smoke travel up past my eyes and melt away into the night air.

He was only getting worse, never improving, now drugs then what would it be? Murder? And the sad part was that I still wouldn’t be able to just walk away. The connection a wolf felt to his mate was unbreakable and never-ending.

I would be drawn to him for the rest of my life. It would kill me to leave him and even if, by some miracle I actually managed to get away there would never be another person out there for me. I would never love another the way I loved him. The fates were cruel indeed.

 I puffed on the cigarette until it was nothing but a stub in my hand, then I went for another and when that finished: another and all the while these thoughts kept circulating in my head: Grady was his own weakness and he was mine; he’d kill us both.

“Thomas? “ The voice rang through the air, dragging me reluctantly from within myself. I looked over at the source and spotted Megan, a cheerleader from school, walking over to me with a small shopping bag in hand and a smile on her face.

“Hey.” I said when she finally came to a stop in front of me.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” She said, the smile still plastered on her face.

“Yeah well there’s a lot you don’t know about me.” I replied, and if I had thought for a second that she would have taken my words as an invitation I would have just kept my mouth shut.

“Really? Well why don’t you clue me in.” she said. He voice had changed from light and shrill to deep and husky and I had to watch in annoyance as she put her hand on my arm and squeeze gently before she leaned in even closer to me.