The Mishaps Of Kusuo Saiki And Various Other Less Important Characters

Saiki's Powers Leaked??

Take a moment to think about it. If you heard someone you know has godly psychic powers, what would be your initial reaction? Especially coming from the newspaper club, you wouldn't believe it. It's simply unnatural. I wasn't worried too much, but my existence is dedicated to making me miserable. Even so, I underestimated the enormity of the situation.

"There's no way psychic powers exist anyway. It's just not possible." Kuboyasu contemplated (out loud) as he looked at the paper.

"Well then what is BLACK BEAT???" Kaidou said.

"Fake."

"YOU JERK-"

"There has to be an explanation for this. The newspaper club can be insane at times, but there's a small chance they just thought of this out of the blue," Hairo added. "And besides, why would they choose Saiki as their target unless they have something against him? If there were beef, I would know about it."

"You have a point," Kuboyasu continued, "but psychic powers? Really?" Maybe it would be better if everyone here were an idiot.

"Psychic powers are real, though. Aiura can tell fortunes and Toritsuka can see ghosts," Yumehada pointed out. "Also, if someone like Teruhashi were to say they have psychic powers, people would believe it. But since it's Saiki it's hard to tell."

Akechi, Aiura and Toritsuka stood silent for once. They were also visibly sweating.

What did you do?

"NOTHING THIS TIME. I SWEAR. THEY MUST'VE SEEN YOU USE IT ON THE STREET OR SOMETHING-" Toritsuka panicked.

"SILENCE, IMBECILE. We need a plan of attack," Akechi said. "But what can we do-"

Nothing. The three looked at me puzzled. It's just gossip to them. The idea will be a figment of the past soon enough, nothing but a meaningless scenario in the back of their heads.

"Come to think of it, weird stuff does happen when he's around.."

"And I never really noticed those antennae. What are they for?"

"He's super secretive, so you never really know.. he's not denying it either."

All of you. Leave. Right now.

"Having trouble, Kusuo?" That's my brother's voice! He must've taken off his telepathy blocker. "You may have guess that this is my doing. But in order to stop me, you'll have to use your psychic powers. What will you do?"

For the first time in a while, I'm clueless. I don't know where he is or what he's planning, and I can't hear any more of his thoughts. I hate that guy.

I just have to keep things under control. Maybe I can't win this time, but I can force him into a draw. But to do that, I need help. Here she comes now with the usual crowd following behind her.

"I'd hate to assume things, Saiki, but if you don't mind me asking, is the newspaper true?" Teruhashi asked. I shook my head. "I should've known."

"He just lied to Teruhashi. THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES. H-" Shut up, you. Those were Toritsuka's thoughts. He can't take Teruhashi's side over mine.

"I feel bad for him, the newspaper club has been spreading a lot of rumors about him lately. And he wouldn't lie to me.. or at least I don't think he would. I should go consult them again." I really hate listening to Teruhashi's thoughts sometimes. She walked away, and with her went her horde of followers.

"I'd believe my pal has psychic powers. That's super cool," Nendou said. Of course he would. "I've seen him use them." EXCUSE ME?

"Wait, really? When?" Hairo was shocked. Kaidou just looked at Nendou as if he were something that came out of a clogged toilet.

"He's disappeared multiple times, and he even turned me to stone once!"

I'm thoroughly confused now.

"Wait, I've seen weird stuff like that too! He picked up a bike with no effort, and sometimes he crosses his eyes. Super random." Kuboyasu can't abandon me now. Please, keep believing it's wrong. PLEASE. He had to say that while I was using clairvoyance. "He's doing it right now." Good grief.

Anyway, I was using clairvoyance to try and find my brother. Spoiler alert, he was nowhere to be found. But enough of that. I uncrossed my eyes.

"Let's ask Aiura. If she has powers like Yumehada said, she'll probably know." Kaidou marched confidently over to Aiura. "Does Saiki really have powers?" That was very straightforward. Aiura shook her head. "Why aren't you saying anything?"

"If I do, I'll spill his secret and he'll literally murder me!" She shrugged.

"Suspicious.."

"Enough of this fuss." Hairo stood in front of the class. "Let's all just go about our business, there's no need to bother Saiki."

...

I had just gotten up after the final bell rang, disappointed to hear a familiar voice at the door.

"KUU! I brought Yuuta here to see where you go to school!" Mom stood before my eyes, holding Yuuta's hand. They always have to show up at the worst possible time-

"CYBORG CIDER MAN NUMBER TWO! I heard somebody talking about your powers and it made me really proud that we're friends! You must be really popular!" Mom looked surprised at that, and Manako stormed in.

"I hope you all enjoyed today's news article, written by yours truly. And now that school is over, it's time for you to fess up! SHOW US YOUR SECRET, YOU FREAK-" Manako pointed at me very aggressively. That was uncalled for. I shrugged in response, which ticked her off.

"That's not nice, miss Newspaper Club Girl," Nendou said. "That's my best pal."

"Hush, you. I'm busy being an antagonist. Now show us your powers. I know you have them." I shrugged again and she groaned. "Can you at least explain to me what I saw? And what everyone else saw too? It's powers, right?"

"Yeah, he does have powers because he's Cyborg Cider Man Number Two! I just said that, weren't you listening?" Yuuta explained. Everyone seemed to agree, and Mom just looked confused.

"Ohh, I get it now. Yeah, makes sense." What on earth. I could hear Kusuke yelling from the roof, and honestly, I could do the same.

"Saiki's actually Cyborg Cider Man Number Two! Now we know what this whole 'psychic powers' ordeal is about, so we can go home now." Toritsuka left very obnoxiously.

I guess I'll have to thank Yuuta later. Maybe he should be the super hero instead. He can have some of my coffe jelly. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I watched as everyone else left the classroom except for one person.

"Psychic powers or not.. wanna get ramen, buddy?"