The Mishaps Of Kusuo Saiki And Various Other Less Important Characters

Happy Birthday Kooswoah

August sixteenth. It's always a good day of the year for me, as long as nobody remembers. I don't expect anyone to remember anyways, or even know, considering the disaster in season one.

This year I'm turning twenty-three. Well, actually eighteen, because I turned back time on the world every year for four years. I'm a twenty-three year old in an eighteen year old body. Anyways, my plans for my eighteenth birthday are simple. I'm going to sit at home and enjoy a pack of coffee jelly, and I'm not going to let anything bother me today. Nothing is going to get in the way of having a peaceful day today!

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KUU!!!" My mom burst into my room and showered me in kisses. I just barely woke up. Dad stood in the doorway, and he was on the verge of tears.

"He's getting so big, already sixteen... ahyuuu..."

"Honey, he's eighteen today," Mom corrected him.

"Oh right. So when are you moving out?" Slow down.

"I hope he never moves out!" Mom hugged me so tight she almost crushed my ribs. Dad grimaced at the thought, imagining a thirty-year-old Kusuo lounging on the couch downstairs. "Anyways, I know you probably want to go back to sleep, but when you wake up there's some coffee jelly in the fridge for you!"

"What's up with his face?"

"He's smiling, papa!"

"That's not something you see every day!"

"Definitely not. Let's go back downstairs and let him sleep, it's early." Mom pushed Dad out of my room.

Thank you, mom.

I went back to sleep after that and probably woke up an hour or two later. Everything was still a little fuzzy, I guess I was tired. After I got dressed, I went downstairs to grab some coffee jelly, a.k.a. my only plan for today like I said before. I was surprised..

"Kusuo! It's great to see you! We brought a gift." My grandmother, Kumi Saiki, greeted me from the living room, and Grandpa didn't acknowledge my presence at all. Unfortunately for me, his thoughts were loud and clear.

"My grandson is eighteen already! How time flies, I should ask him if he wants to do something fun for his birthday! Young people like to party, right?" 

So nothing different from either of them. I'd rather not party with him, though, so I got my coffee jelly, gave Grandma the typically expected hug and went back upstairs. I had to hear this, though.

"NOOOO! I failed, I should have asked him to go out while he was down here! I can't just barge into his room now..."  Too bad, I guess. I got a call.

"What's up, Kusuo!" It's Aiura. I considered hanging up, but I'll let her talk. "Happy birthday!"

Thanks.

"Wanna go out today? As a gift? Or maybe I could stop by, and give you any gift you want.."

I don't like where this is going.

"You haven't changed one bit. Mind if I come over?"

Not at all.  That way, I can avoid having to "go out" with Grandpa.

"Okay, that's good because I'm already here. Come downstairs." I'm not going to question when she got here or how she arrived so quickly. She hung up, so I went downstairs to find Aiura conversing with my grandmother.

"Your girlfriend is so swag, Kusuo!" Did she just say swag-

"Hey Kuu, let's go!" Aiura took my arm. "I'm taking him out for a bit, are you cool with that?"

"Of course, go out as long as you want! I wouldn't want to deprive him of his time with his girlfriend." Grandma waved us off.

"Thanks!" Aiura dragged me out the door and Grandpa's whiny thoughts thankfully faded into a sea of others. "Wanna go see a movie or something?"

I can't watch movies..

"Right. How about an arcade?"

I'd end up destroying the games.

"Um, okay. How about the beach? It's summer break."

Hairo's a lifeguard.

"You're so annoying."

Thanks.

Just then, I heard a familiar stream of thoughts coming right in my direction.

"It's Saiki's birthday today! You thought I'd forget? Of course not, I'm a perfect pretty girl. I'm going to stop by his house and drop off this gift. It's a life-sized figurine of me, so I'm sure he'll love it! Honestly, I think it's a bit strange, but apparently these mannequins have been flying off the shelf so they must be popular. He'll be so happy to-"

Enough. I took Aiura's arm and walked her down a different street to avoid running into.. that. It just so happened to be the street Nendou lives on. He was out in front of his house, playing with a mosquito coil and some bug-catching kits made for small children. I tried to walk faster, but I wasn't fast enough.

"Hey, buddy! Isn't today your birthday?" Nendou rushed over to us in his own terrifying Nendou way. "We should get ramen! I'll pay."

"I'm taking him out right now actually, can it wait?" Aiura said. Props to her. Though, I wouldn't mind it if he's paying..

"Definitely! I'm busy right now too anyways, so I'll see you later, best buddy!" Nendou went back to his bug traps. He was surprisingly not as irritating as usual, so Aiura and I walked on. 

"AREN, A LITTLE TO THE LEFT- oh hey Saiki!" Kaidou called out from Aren's yard. Wait, when did he live on this street? A couple minor details are different today, which is strange, but I guess it doesn't matter. Everything's still a bit fuzzy. Am I sick?

"Hey guys. Saiki, happy birthday!" Kuboyasu yelled down from a branch he was sitting on. "I would've called, but, uh.." He's ashamed to say he forgot until now, but I don't mind.

"Wait, it's his birthday?" Kaidou panicked. "I don't have anything-"

It's fine. Thanks.

"You can help us build this treehouse! It'll be fun, right Aren?" I'd honestly rather not.

"Oh yeah, totally!" Kuboyasu replied. No, please- "But he probably doesn't want to. Stuff like this isn't his style. It's fun for us, but he'd probably rather be at home right now." Spot on.

"Right. Looks like you're busy anyway.. but I'm glad we got to see you! We can fight Dark Reunion another day, when you're not occupied." When was Dark Reunion ever a part of this conversation?

Aiura and I walked on. The street seemed to wobble. Makoto Teruhashi approached us suddenly. He seemed to come out of nowhere, that's weird. I didn't think he lived near here.

"Hey four-eyes. Hey four-eyes' girlfriend. Kokomi is coming over to your house later, but don't get any ideas. She's just dropping off a gift since it's your birthday but just remember that you're nothing to her. Got it?" Wow, that was brutal. He even spoke in a bold font. But he disappeared right before my eyes. Aiura seemed unfazed. She stopped me before we could go further down the street.

"Um, Kusuo, there's something I've been wanting to do for a while. I waited for a special day so you would hopefully remember.." she said. "I'm sure you know I like you, a lot." Aiura got a bit closer to my face and wrapped her arms around me. Is this a nightmare?! Why so sudden, and why didn't I see it coming? This is outrageous.

"Kiss me, Kuu." Oh dear.. there's no getting out of this, is there? I froze, wishing she would either get it over with or just drop it. Everything went black for some reason, but then I woke up.

Oh good, it was all just a dream. That explains why some details were off. I sat up in bed with sweat dripping down my face. That was scary, but I'm glad my plans to relax aren't disturbed yet.

Wait.. was that a precognition?.. Hopefully not, let me go get my coffee jelly.

"Kusuo, it's great to see you!" My grandmother says, sounding oddly familiar.

Oh no....