The Mishaps Of Kusuo Saiki And Various Other Less Important Characters

Entomophobia and other things

Unfortunately, fire is not the solution to every problem. Not even a roach infestation.

I figured this out soon after my classroom almost burned to a crisp. Now, I'm sitting in the principal's office while Mr. Matsusnoopy roots through my bag, looking for matches or something. I'm not sure why they're making such a big deal of it, it was just a little fire, and I put it out as soon as the roach was gone.

"You can go, Saiki. He's clear." I was dismissed back to my classroom. Nendou was waiting for me by my desk.

"Nendou, fires don't just start out of the blue like that." Kaidou sat at the desk in front of mine, turned around so he could see Nendou. "Oh, hi Saiki."

"Well it is hot out today. Who knows?" I just decided to leave. I'm not going to put up with them for the rest of the day after I was traumatized by the roach.

...

"Kuu, I got a call from the school. They said a fire started out of nowhere and to check and make sure you didn't get burned, was that you?" I love how Mom's first question was 'was that you' instead of 'are you okay.'

There was a cockroach.

"You really need to be more responsible, son." Dad sat across from me at the table. "Maybe you need to train those powers of yours."

I already do that.

"Well work on the one that makes fire. Let's do some exercises."

Exercises?

"Yeah, you know. Like the ones in Avatar: The Last Airbender."

I'm a psychic, not a bender-

"Same thing." He clapped his hands and grabbed a match, striking it against the box.

"Don't play with fire in the house, please!" Mom yelled from the other room.

We went outside, and Dad was still holding the match. 

"Make this fire just a little bigger." So I did, and almost burnt off his fingers. "Not so big! Did you do that on purpose? No? Okay, so make it smaller now- OW." That idiot dropped the match right on the grass, and started a huge flame. He started panicking and crying for me to put it out. Good grief, how is he supposed to help me with my pyrokinesis?

"That was a close one. Let's not use matches anymore, make your own fire." I could've been doing that in the first place. "Do one of those fancy poses like in the show."

No, I'm not doing this for entertainment.

"Okay, fine. Let's get serious. Maybe we should be working on your fear of bugs instead.."

How do we do that?

"Exposure therapy."

Absolutely not.

"That's the only way! Here, you won't get startled by it if you know it's coming. Your friend Nendou likes to catch bugs, right?"

...

"So my buddy's afraid of bugs? I can help with that! Let me go grab my traps." Nendou went back into his house, and Dad started to leave.

Hey, where do you think you're going?

"Just think of it like I'm dropping you off at your friend's house. No big deal."

You're just going to leave me with a bunch of small-brained creatures? Nendou included?

"Yes. Have fun!" Dad waved as he left. Great, I can't get out of this now. Nendou came back with a bunch of containers. I couldn't see what was in them.

"I caught some of these the other day, and normally I let them out but I thought they were pretty so I kept them for a bit. I was planning on letting them free today anyway, so you can help me!" He showed me a little trap with a stag beetle in it, and I suddenly felt faint. "Don't worry buddy, it's not gonna hurt you."

We sat down in the grass and Nendou showed me the other bugs in his traps. I tried to pull myself together, but my stomach did ten back flips and I almost threw up. Dad must've been joking when he said to have fun.

"I'm gonna let this one go now." Nendou opened up the trap with the stag beetle. I watched its disgusting little legs move its disgusting little body to the rim of the trap, and its disgusting little wings carried its disgusting little self into the air. Before I knew what I was doing, I caught myself trying to scoot away backwards. It could land on me. Why is it still flying around over here? GET IT AWAY-

"Here buddy, look at this praying mantis I found. It's funny looking." Nendou held out his hand toward me and I looked closer to see the weird little green thing crawling around. "Hey, there's no need to look so scared! It can't fly. Try and hold it."

No thanks.

He put it in my hand anyway. I got a little dizzy, but since it's kind of an endangered species I resisted throwing it into the air. I need to have a good amount of willpower for this or else Nendou will find out about my powers.

"Good job! I think it likes you." The insect sat still in my hands. I guess this isn't so bad. I needed this anyway, so it's good that I'm able to handle it.

This process went on for a little while longer. Nendou kept handing me bugs I didn't want and I kept trying to not kill anything. I think it was actually effective. None of them were roaches, but I hate all bugs, so it doesn't make a difference. One of them was a caterpillar. That one was my favorite.

Once I got home, Mom asked me to help her with cleaning. I did most of it with my powers, just picking up trash in corners and stuff. How does our house always get so dirty?

Suddenly, an unwelcome guest crawled out from under the fridge. It startled me a little, but the roach just crawled around for a second. It didn't fly or jump or anything, and I didn't do anything about it. There were a couple bugs, but they were barely moving. Hmm.

I decided to pick it up and put it outside. It took a lot of work, and I had to cover it in ice to keep it from crawling up my arm, but it worked. Bugs are actually slightly less disgusting than they were before. I repeated this process with a couple more bugs, realizing I could just freeze them and toss them outside. That's so much easier than burning them alive!

Yes! It worked! Finally, I can stop setting things on fire! This is great-

"Son, why is it so cold?" I turned around to see Dad trapped in a bunch of ice..

Oh dear.