Cacoethes

Almost

VOL I, CHAPTER III

Red carnations were spread all over her quivering body. Drops of water kissed her nudity. Her bare skin embraced the flowers so gracefully, as did their balmy, spicy fragrances, that her surreal beauty was enhanced even more.

"Were you out of your mind? You almost died!" The croaky voice of the raven-haired maiden's puppet resonated in the vacant chamber.

"Almost. I've read somewhere that the word 'almost' depicts the feeling of melancholy and despair." When she turned her back, the flowers fell off her skin like how they shed from a branch.

"What do you mean?"

For the first time in a while, the raven-haired maiden, who was now lying on her chest, took a long, deep breath. "Almost. Isn't it sad? I almost died. I almost made him stay. He almost didn't leave me." A tear rolled down her flushed cheeks, but a smile---an anguished smile decorated her lips.

"Didn't I tell you to move on from the past? You already have someone else in your life!"

She ascended, tilting her head towards the puppet. The satin sheets were now being gripped by her as she gritted her teeth. "Enough! I know, it's the truth that kills me every day. I know I have someone in my life, but how am I supposed to tell him that I don't feel anything for him? I just... I've kept him in my life just because... because I don't want to be alone." Fighting back her tears, she clamped her eyes shut and swallowed the lump that had grown inside her throat like those hanahaki flowers.

"You know, you shouldn't think about him. You know you're wrong, so why are you doing this?"

"I know I'm in the wrong, but I'm desperate, I'm needy. I need his salacious touch, " She bit her lips in arousal; they almost bled, and her mind was now poisoned with obscene thoughts."

"You need to stop what you're doing."

"Why? Why is it wrong to fantasise about someone who I can't have---or should I say, I almost had?"